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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413563">There's a Rip in the Sky</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitzyena/pseuds/glitzyena'>glitzyena</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IZONE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Ballet, Chaekura if you squint, F/F, Fluff, Human Trafficking, Minor Character Death, Prostitution, References to Depression, Smoking, compensated dating, slight homophobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:48:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>57,976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitzyena/pseuds/glitzyena</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You gotta take life by the fucking neck, yeah? You gotta beat it and bend it until your knuckles bleed, until its in the shape you want it to be. It'll try and squirm out of your grasp, and it'll hiss and bite and spit like a fucking snake, but you gotta hold it down on the ground and fucking force it to comply with what you want," </p><p>For almost all her life, Minju's been going through her days with no purpose. Lacking motivation and something to be passionate about, she sees the world in blurs of grey like a veil has shrouded her line of sight. Colour returns to her vision in the form of Kim Chaewon, a college student with an aspiration for music, and a voice so sweet Minju could drown in it. That, and a loaded back pocket from getting paid to go on dates with older men.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Yena/Jo Yuri, Kim Chaewon (IZONE)/Kim Minju</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. There's a Rip in the Sky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ajkfjdksaldal im so excited to publish this! this story is one of my all-time favourites of mine, it really is the piece i'm the most proud of and worked the hardest on. so although because this is one of my favourite works of mine and it's quite nerve wrecking to post it here, i'm still excited and intrigued to see what people will think. it's gonna be a long ride, so kick back, get comfy, and enjoy!<br/>- glitz</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://mobile.twitter.com/glitzyena">my twitter!</a><br/></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Minju! We're going, hurry up!"</p><p>Minju furrows her brow at the sound of Yena's muffled yells coming from downstairs. "I'm coming!" She calls back, dragging a hand through her hair agitatedly. She briefly checks her reflection in the mirror; tapping her lips and pushing at the roots of her hair, before grabbing her phone and rushing out the door.</p><p>Both Yuri and Yena are waiting at the base of the stairs, Yuri swiping idly at her phone while Yena taps her foot against the ground impatiently. "You know, you really need to stop putting things off to the last minute," the eldest chides, unlocking the door.</p><p>Minju scoffs, tossing on her jacket. "Yena, I barely even want to go to this thing. Don't push it,"</p><p>Yena clicks her tongue disapprovingly, but to Minju's relief, she stays silent. They step outside and Yena locks the door behind them, before making their way downstairs.</p><p>"I can kinda see where Minju's coming from," Yuri remarks offhandishly, stuffing her fists into the pockets of her jacket. "Like, her and I aren't gonna know anyone there,"</p><p>Yena shakes her head. "Just because it's a college party doesn't mean that you're not gonna know anyone. I mean, there'll be <em>someone </em>there that you know," she tries to explain.</p><p>Minju resists a strong urge to roll her eyes. "It doesn't matter who's there and who isn't, you two are gonna be joint at the hip the entire night anyway," she gestures vaguely at the close proximity of the two girls. "And guess who's gonna suffer?" She asks rhetorically, motioning towards herself.</p><p>Yena sighs. "Listen, we're not just gonna walk in there and totally abandon you,"</p><p>Minju scrunches up her face in distaste. "Oh no, please do. I've been a first hand witness to your PDA ten too many times. I'll be out of your range the moment you set eyes on the alcohol,"</p><p>"You're being really difficult, you know that?"</p><p>"It's a defence mechanism,"</p><p>"That... doesn't even make any sense,"</p><p>"Does it need to?"</p><p>Yena rubs at her face, already looking tired as they step outside. "Listen, at least try and have a good time? If you wanna head home then just hail a cab or something,"</p><p>Minju hums half heartedly in reply, more focused on drawing her jacket tighter around her shoulders. It's not too late at night, maybe around quarter past ten or so, but May is still early and unusually cold. The sounds of their shoes against gravel are loud in the night, echoing across the towering apartment buildings of the estate. The moon is waning, a crescent if you could even call it that, clear in the sky and free of clouds. Artificial light is provided by the street lamps, harsh white cutting through the inky pathway. They buzz pleasantly, surrounded by flies that dart eagerly around them.</p><p>She's never really been big on parties, to be honest. Sure, she's even less keen on them now that it's her final year in high school, but the thought of being jostled and pushed around by loud, sweaty, drunken bodies isn't exactly appealing. And those were just at the few house parties she'd been to.</p><p>Yena, being just two years older than Minju herself, has a bit more understanding when it comes to things like this. Her college years give her easy access to parties like the one they're going to now. Minju can understand why Yena had convinced Yuri to come with her, they're together after all, but Minju?</p><p>Minju still struggles to understand why she's going, to be honest.</p><p>Shedoesn't want to go, she'll lose sight of her two friends within moments of stepping through the front door, and she'll be left on her own. <br/>Minju's dependant on the hope that there'll be other people like her, sat in the corner with a drink in hand, just watching the chaos unfold. Maybe if she's lucky, she'll be able to sneak out quickly without alerting Yena.</p><p>"Who's even holding this thing?" Yuri breaks the silence, not so subtly moving in closer to Yena's side for warmth, her breath coming out as clouded puffs of condensation.</p><p>Yena responds almost as a sixth sense, wrapping an arm around the youngest's waist. "If I told you I knew their name, I'd be lying," she laughs to herself. "A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend,"</p><p>"Reassuring," Minju remarks dryly. "If this turns out to be some kidnapping, I'm not paying for either of your ransoms,"<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To Minju's mild surprise, neither Yuri nor Yena leave her once they step inside the house.</p><p>The place is large, anyone can see. Three or four floors of creamy walls and obnoxiously large window panes, paired with copious amounts of already drunken students. The house is dark for the most part, a cheap strobe lighting machine casting flashing neon colours onto the ceiling from the living room. Some EDM track is playing that Minju can't recognise, something with a heavy bass that thrums through her entire body.</p><p>"I wanna go say hi to some friends first!" Yena yells at both of them over the deafening music, and Minju can do nothing other than comply.</p><p>Yuri and Yena grip hands, while Minju is left to her own devices as they push their way through the heavy crowds. It's intimidating, Minju will admit it, being shoved around by  these people who seem so much older than she is. Everyone seems to have a purpose, everyone seems to know exactly what they're doing. Or maybe they're just kinda going with it. Minju doesn't really care.</p><p>The first girl that Yena greets is sat on a stool by the makeshift bar, talking in low tones to another girl in front of her. "Chaeyeon!" Yena calls, and the girl turns around with a smile.</p><p>"Yena, good to see you!" She exclaims, hopping off of her stool and pulling Yena into a hug.</p><p>Yuri huffs, clearly miffed about her loss of contact. "You literally saw each other yesterday," she huffs out, yet even so, there's a small smile on her face.</p><p>Minju stands a little off to the side as both Chaeyeon and Yena converse animatedly, her arms folded across her chest as she leans against one of the stools. She doesn't mind meeting new people, its a natural occurrence, but it's something she'd rather have happen less often rather than more.</p><p>God, what she wouldn't give to be in bed right now, snuggled up with a blanket, scrolling through some nice, harmless memes.</p><p>A girl can dream.</p><p>"And this is Minju!" Yena's voice jolts Minju out of her thoughts. "She's in her last year of high school,"</p><p>Chaeyeon offers Minju a wide smile. "It's nice to meet you!"</p><p>Minju nods her head and smiles in return, hoping it didn't come out as too forced. The girl next to Chaeyeon offers a small wave too - Minju must've missed her name. She was pretty; hair the colour of caramel cut short at her shoulders, and her wide doe eyes giving her an innocent, yet playful look.</p><p>"Wait, oh my god," Chaeyeon starts. "Have you guys been out onto the balcony yet?"</p><p>Yena tilts her head inquisitively. "No, we just got here. Why would we go there?"</p><p>Chaeyeon smiles knowingly, looking full well like she knows something the rest of them don't. "I went there not too long ago," she states. "There's someone out there that you'd never guess you'd see here,"</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>Chaeyeon shakes her head, ignoring Yena's protests. "It wouldn't be a surprise then! Go on out and say hi, I think you're in for a shock," she hits Yena on the back playfully. "I'll see you around, ok?"</p><p>Yena rubs her back in mock pain. "See you, I guess,"</p><p>Chaeyeon laughs before ushering them off, and it's not long before the three girls are on their own again. "Well," Yuri looks at Yena. "We're going to the balcony, I suppose?"</p><p>"I suppose," Yena parrots, not sounding too enthusiastic.</p><p>To be honest, Minju's not expecting a lot from whoever's on the balcony. She's not expecting... <em>this.</em></p><p>The balcony's probably larger than Minju's entire bedroom, large glass sliding doors that separate the house from a neon skyline. They're high up - higher than Minju remembers, so the vast urban planes stretch out long and far beneath them. When they slide the door behind them shut, the music is cut off, reduced to nothing but a low thrum.</p><p>There's a girl on the balcony.</p><p>Her back is to them, not a lot visible in the hazy darkness. Strawberry blonde hair cascades down her back in loose curls, light and weightless in the soft breeze. She taps her fingernails against the railing in an irregular rhythm, humming softly to herself. A drink is held lazily in her other hand, sparkling pink liquid almost gone from the glass, glinting with the lights of the city.</p><p>Yena shares weary looks with both Minju and Yuri, before taking a small step forward. Yena clears her throat loudly.</p><p>The girl seems to pause for a moment, before looking over her shoulder to face them and-</p><p>Oh.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>"Chaewon?" Yena says the name with disbelief.</p><p>The girl - Chaewon, Minju assumes - is... beyond gorgeous. Her hair is the colour of pale strawberries, and her eyes are warm pools of brown. A pale pink skirt accentuates her slim waist, paired with a white top and a jacket hanging precariously from one shoulder. Her lips are tinted dark, and they're pulled into a languid sort of smile until her eyes set on Yena.</p><p>"Yena? Oh my god, you're fucking with me!" her voice is sweet, intoxicatingly so, like it's been lathered in golden syrup.</p><p> Yena advances and hugs her, which Chaewon accepts easily.  "Shit, it's been what, two years? How're you holding up?"</p><p>Chaewon pulls back, playfully dusting down Yena's shoulders. Her beam on her face is natural, sitting between her cheeks and lighting up the rest of her features. "I've been great, you?" She replies. "God, of all the people I was expecting to see here, you definitely weren't one of them,"</p><p>"I've been good, yeah," Yena answers her, before turning back around to see Yuri and Minju. Both of them are watching the scene unfold with little to no background information, Minju judging by Yuri's expression that the younger is just as confused as she is.</p><p>"Guys, this is Chaewon. We were friends back in high school," Yena introduces them, gesturing towards Chaewon. Chaewon offers Yuri a polite smile and a nod of her head, before she looks at Minju and-</p><p>Something in her eyes changes.</p><p>They gleam playfully, and her smile changes from something polite to one of knowing.</p><p><em>I must've been staring. </em>Minju offers a tight smile before looking away, suddenly very engrossed in the spec of dirt on her shoes.</p><p>"And Chaewon, this is Yuri, and this is Minju," Yena points to them accordingly. Chaewon hums in response and <em>shit </em>someone's voice shouldn't be allowed to sound this nice.</p><p>"You guys are young, huh? Still in high school?" Chaewon asks, and Minju really don't know if she has the mental capacity to answer.</p><p>Thankfully, Yuri does so for both of them. "I'm still seventeen," her voice doesn't seem too enthusiastic about her age. "Minju's eighteen, we're in our last year,"</p><p>Chaewon hums again. "Remember our last year, Yena? Those were the days, huh?" She shoots Yena a coy look, to which Yena scoffs.</p><p>"They definitely were <em>not </em>the days. Studying took up so much of my time that I'm pretty sure my brain still hasn't recovered,"</p><p>Chaewon tuts at her. "Don't be so dramatic, you're doing fine,"</p><p>"Look at Minju, she's only halfway through this term and she's already aged two years,"</p><p>It takes Minju a moment to grasp what Yena's saying, but when she does, she frowns, taking offence. "Hey," she mumbles, not too serious.</p><p>Yuri snorts into her palm, and even Chaewon smiles a little. "Don't be mean, Yena," the elder chides, and then, she locks eyes with Minju, taking a sip of her drink.</p><p>"Minju's pretty,"</p><p>Minju feels her breath hitch quietly, unable to draw her eyes away from Chaewon's invasive gaze, watching her throat bob as she swallows her drink. There's tense silence for a beat too long, before Chaewon's smirking and looking away. "Besides, I barely studied, and look at me now," she carries on the conversation as if nothing happened, as if she didn't just reduce Minju to a quivering mess with her gaze alone.</p><p>"Yeah, how's that going for you?" Yena quieries. "You're studying what, music now?"</p><p>Chaewon nods, eyes alight with something different than before, something like excitement. Passion. "Mainly production," she nods. "Writing, a bit of mixing. Shit, Yena, it's- it's amazing," she grins giddily, almost childlike.</p><p>Minju would've found her cute if she hadn't reduced her to a mess just moments earlier with her eyes alone.</p><p>"That good, huh?" Yena smiles at her fondly, and Minju can tell that she really cares. Judging by the slightly miffed expression on Yuri's face, she can tell too.</p><p>"That good," Chaewon confirms, dreamy looking. "I definitely made the right choice, Yena. I'm so happy with- with everything," she speaks softly, saying the word <em>happy </em>like she's alluding towards something that Minju and Yuri don't know.</p><p>Yena looks at her sincerely. "That's great, Chae. Really great,"</p><p>Chaewon nods in response, before standing up a little straighter, almost like she's trying to make herself look taller. "But that's enough about me," she drags a hand through her hair slowly. "What about you two?" She gestures towards Minju and Yuri. "How do you guys know Yena?"</p><p>Yuri, once again, takes it upon herself to answer. "Minju and I have been friends since middle school, so it was me who introduced them,"</p><p>"Oh? And how do you both know each other then?" Chaewon asks Yena with a tilt of her head.</p><p>Both Yena and Yuri hesitate for a moment too long, and Chaewon's eyes widen. "Oh my god-"</p><p>"Chae, shut up,"</p><p>"I didn't even say anything!"</p><p>Yena sighs. "Whatever you're thinking, keep it to yourself. Ok?"</p><p>Chaewon shrugs. "It's whatever. But I mean, it's not that big a deal, Yuri won't be a minor for much longer," she takes a slow sip of her drink. "Unless, of course, I'm getting mixed signals," she speaks around the thin rim of the glass, raising a brow. "You're both dating, am I right?"</p><p>Both Yuri and Yena give curt nods in response. "My uh... my class went on a trip to Yena's college," Yuri flushes. "So that's where we, uh, met," her eyes are downcast, playing with her fingers as she speaks.</p><p>Chaewon makes a noise of acknowledgement. "Must be hard, huh? Having to hide a relationship,"</p><p>Yena sighs loudly, rubbing her forehead. "You've no idea," she looks up at Yuri, and offers her a small smile. "Worth it though,"</p><p>Yuri only flushes harder, and even Minju can see the darkness of her cheeks, even though Yuri's still staring at the ground.</p><p>"Oh, to be single," Chaewon sighs, dramatic and loud, as she leans with her back against the railing. "It's a tough life that none of you would understand,"</p><p>Minju swallows down her nerves, speaking up for the first time since they stepped out onto the balcony. "Trust me, I do too,"</p><p>All eyes are on her now, including Chaewon's. The girl just blinks at her. "Shut up,"</p><p>"These two remind me of it, everyday," Minju vaguely gestures in Yuri and Yena's direction.</p><p>"No, like, actually shut up," Chaewon repeats, eyes trained on her.</p><p>Minju frowns, afraid she'd said something wrong. "What?"</p><p>Chaewon snorts. "There's not a hope in hell you're single. You're like, disgustingly attractive,"</p><p>Minju feels her brain short circuit. Sorry, there's no way that this- this piece of <em>art </em>just called <em>her </em>attractive. "Was... that a compliment?"</p><p>Chaewon opens her mouth to reply, but not before Yuri beats her to it. Minju vaguely registers somewhere in the back of her mind that there's a new song being played back inside, some R&amp;B, slow and sultry and definitely Yuri's style. Her eyes light up excitedly and she sends Yena a pleading look. "This is my favourite song!" She exclaims, grabbing Yena's hand. "C'mon, quick!"</p><p>Yena doesn't even have a chance to respond before Yuri's tugging Yena back inside, the thumping bass filtering through the door when it's opened. "Wait! Guys-" Minju calls out, but is cut off by the sound of the door being promptly shut.</p><p>Silence fills the outdoor area once more, distanced sounds of car horns and sirens and the like punctuating the lack of noise occasionally.</p><p>It's just her and Chaewon now.</p><p>"Well that was abrupt," the girl remarks dryly, before speaking to Minju. "You want a drink or something?"</p><p>Minju hesitates, turning towards her and rubbing the back of her neck. "I don't know..." her voice is quieter than she'd like it to be, clearing her throat before speaking a little louder. "I probably shouldn't,"</p><p>But Chaewon pushes, gesturing for Minju to join her by the railing. "Oh, c'mon. You only live once, right?"</p><p>Minju threads her arms over the metal bars, both of them facing out towards the skyline. "What year is this, 2015?" She quips, but doesn't refuse when Chaewon holds out her sparkling glass, soft bubbles of laughter escaping the girl's lips. She takes a tentative sip of the sparkling pink liquid, scrunching up her nose in distaste. "That is-" she licks her lips, almost trying to rid the taste from her mouth. "That is <em>vile</em>,"</p><p>Chaewon hums, taking the wine glass back and taking a larger sip herself. "Isn't it? But it's pretty, and I'm only out here for the aesthetic, so," she shrugs. "Plus I'm... what would you call it?"</p><p>"Pleasantly drunk?" Minju prompts.</p><p>Chaewon purses her lips. "More like pleasantly tipsy," she decides. "I'm not quite drunk... yet," she speaks around the rim of the glass with a smile.</p><p>"Wouldn't that be a sight," Minju mutters, resting her chin in her palms. She's already more tired than she'd like to admit, and it's barely half eleven.</p><p>Chaewon mimics her position, grinning cheekily. "You think I'm a sight, huh?" She presses.</p><p>Minju's heart palpitates wildly in her chest, but she keeps a calm exterior, raising an eyebrow. "It was you who called me attractive. Not the other way round,"</p><p>Chaewon catches her lower lip between her teeth, trying to suppress a growing smile. "Oh, so I'm not attractive?"</p><p>Minju shakes her head, almost in disbelief. "You're fucking radiant, that's what,"</p><p>Chaewon seems pleased at that, and doesn't make any effort to hide it. "Brutally honest, huh? That's not gonna get you far,"</p><p>Minju tilts her head. "Well it's got a conversation going with you, has it not?" She counters.</p><p>Chaewon's eyes become that bit darker. "Let's go inside and get you a drink of your own, hm? I think you and I are gonna get along just fine,"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So I'm sat there," Chaewon pauses for effect, Minju hooked on her every word. "In the middle of class, running on nothing but two hours sleep and around six red bulls, and my history teacher goes, <em>can someone in this god forsaken class please for the love of our lord above tell me who sculpted David? </em>And naturally, my half awake ass is on its figurative knees, <em>begging </em>her not to pick me,"</p><p>Minju grins at her. "She picked you, didn't she?"</p><p>Chaewon throws her hands in the air. "She has the <em>nerve </em>to set her eyes on me, and she goes, <em>Chaewon! You're looking bright and chipper this morning, care to tell me the answer? </em>Fucking bitch," she spits, and she has Minju in peals of laughter.</p><p>"So what did you say?"</p><p>Chaewon swirls her drink around in her glass - probably her fourth or fifth one that night - Minju lost count at the third. "So I know who sculpted David, yeah? Like I was about to pass out but I wasn't dumb like," she takes a sip of her drink. "But as mentioned, I'm like, zonked. So, instead of saying <em>Donatello, </em>I go, <em>Donatella, miss,"</em></p><p>Minju snorts, spraying her own drink from her lips. "Donatella?" She exclaims. "That barbie-looking Versace lady?"</p><p>Chaewon nods grimly, putting up a show of mourning. "Needless to say, getting confused between an artistic icon and a lump of plastic did <em>not </em>put me in that teacher's good books. I actually wasn't that bad at history either, and she barely passed me, old witch," her lip curls as she speaks, and Minju's still laughing.</p><p>"God," she sighs, wiping imaginary tears from her eyes. "You know, I feel like you're the kind of person who secretly runs a meme account,"</p><p>"Oh definitely," Chaewon nods, dead serious. "Those spongebob memes don't make themselves, sweetie,"</p><p>"You're out of your mind,"</p><p>"Don't flatter me,"</p><p>"Bet you want me too,"</p><p>Chaewon side eyes her. "You've already exposed me for my no-longer-secret memes account, so get off your high horse,"</p><p>Minju smiles around the rim of her glass before taking a gulp. Usually she wasn't so lenient in terms of drinking, but, well, usually she wasn't this tipsy. "Whatever you say,"</p><p>They've been out on this balcony for God only knows how long, Minju's sure that it must be in the a.m at this stage. The sky is a thick stroke of black paint, studded with gleaming stars. It's silent for the most part, save for the voluptuous beats slipping from beneath the door, and the low rumble of car engines from far off.</p><p>Talking with Chaewon is... natural.</p><p>Conversation has been easy for all the hours they've been out here, and for once, Minju isn't desperate to make an escape through the backdoor.</p><p>"But on the topic..." Chaewon's voice cuts through her thoughts, and <em>god </em>Minju could listen to her talk for days on end. There's something silvery about the way she talks, so syrupy and sugary that Minju feels like she could drink in her tone and be left with vanilla on her tongue. "If you wanna flatter me," Chaewon's forefinger draws figure eights on the railing, her lidded eyes raising to meet Minju's. "Then I'm not gonna stop you,"</p><p>Minju's breath gets caught in her throat, and all she can do is stare. "I- sorry, what?"</p><p>Chaewon stares her down, eyes ablaze as she raises her chin. "Flatter me," she repeats, she <em>dares </em>her.</p><p>A short puff of laughter leaves Minju's lips, almost in disbelief. "Shit," she breathes. "Where do I begin?"</p><p>"Minju, you barely know me,"</p><p>"That's the scary part," Minju sighs. "I- I barely know you and there's so many things,"</p><p>Chaewon steps that little bit closer to her. "Like what?" She presses.</p><p>Minju wrings her fingers together, fiddling with her rings. "Well," she begins. "You're gorgeous, for one. Did you see me when I first walked out here? I nearly died. Like, you literally nearly killed me. I could've sued you and taken all of your money,"</p><p>Chaewon raises an eyebrow. "And how do you know how much money I have?"</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes. "Oh, I don't know, maybe that big ass <em>Chanel </em>logo on your jacket?"</p><p>Chaewon looks down at the logo, picking at it as if she'd only just realised now that it was there. "Forgot I decided to wear this thing. Guess you caught me red handed, huh?"</p><p>Minju looks at her out of the corner of her eye. "Aren't you in college?" She asks. "What kinda part time job pays for Chanel jackets?"</p><p>She catches herself.</p><p>Realises that that's none of her business.</p><p>"Shit, sorry, I-"</p><p>"Nah, it's cool," Chaewon brushes her off easily. "It's not that big of a deal, really. I'm just not working part time, is all,"</p><p>Working full time? With college classes?</p><p>"Ok, well I'm not working part time, but I'm not exactly working full time either. Sorta in between," Chaewon explains, and Minju nods slowly.</p><p>"So, if you don't mind me asking..."</p><p>"Not at all,"</p><p>"What do you work as?"</p><p>Chaewon heaves a sigh, taking a slow, deliberate sip of her champagne. "Ok, so, maybe I lied to you earlier,"</p><p>Minju raises an eyebrow.</p><p>"I'm not... exactly single?"</p><p>Minju's frown only deepens. How can someone not be exactly single? And what did that have to do with anything? "What do you mean?"</p><p>Chaewon looks at her, dead in the eyes. "I take part in... compensated dating,"</p><p>Minju's jaw snaps shut and it takes all of her willpower not to let her eyes physically bulge out of her head.</p><p>"It's weird, huh?" Chaewon's tone is... flat.</p><p>Minju blinks, trying to wrap her head around the situation. "Fuck, no- it's not, I mean, I'm not judging, like, do what you want, I just wasn't expecting it?"</p><p>Chaewon's eyebrow arches. "This is supposed to be the part where you tell me that it's been fun, but you gotta go," she masks her melancholy voice with brash words, and she builds brick walls in front of her eyes so that Minju can't see what she's thinking.</p><p>Minju tilts her head to the side. "Do you want me to?"</p><p>Chaewon looks out at the skyline, her lively persona lost to the wind as her shoulders droop like wilting flower petals. "No," her voice is small.</p><p>"Then I'm not going anywhere," Minju's tone is firm, nodding her head once in confirmation.</p><p>Yet still, Chaewon looks at her with doubt written all over her face. "You're sure? Like I'm literally giving you a chance to walk away right now, forget we ever even talked,"</p><p>"Are you kidding?" Minju asks. "Don't forget I'm still suing you for being so pretty, how are you supposed to pay your fine if I walk away?"</p><p>Chaewon huffs, but there's a smile on her lips and gratitude in her eyes. "You're so ridiculous," she tries to bite back a smile in vain. "Thanks, Minju,"</p><p>Minju shrugs, takes a gulp of her drink, it's almost empty. "It's nothing, it's not like I'm gonna see you any different,"</p><p>"You'd be a first," Chaewon remarks, slowly seeming to warm up to her again.</p><p>"Shit, you're serious?" Minju questions. "I've known you for like, four hours, and there's no way that I'm gonna let something like that get in the way of... whatever. It's your life, do whatever the fuck you want,"</p><p>Chaewon rolls her eyes. "That's what I used to try and explain to people. I think at some stage I just stopped trying," she leans over the balcony. "No offence, but I didn't expect you to be any different. I mean, there's a reason I was out here on my own,"</p><p>Minju raises her palms. "None taken,"</p><p>"I mean, it's nothing bad," Chaewon speaks too fast, like she's rushing to get the words out of her mouth. "Like I mean, he treats me... well. Like yeah, it's- it's intimate or whatever, but it's business. And-"</p><p>"You don't gotta explain yourself, you know," Minju cuts her off gently. "You don't need to give me a reason, I'm fine with it,"</p><p>Chaewon seems a bit taken aback, but she goes with it. "Ok,"</p><p>There's silence, for a while. Nothing tense, but- but comfortable. <em>Chaewon </em>is comfortable.</p><p>"You've got a face for it, you know," she speaks up, soft smirk playing on her lips.</p><p>Minju's eyebrows knit together. "A face for what?"</p><p>Chaewon's tongue pokes at the inside of her cheek, eyes lively. "Compensated dating. I already told you, you're disgustingly attractive,"</p><p>Minju's cheeks burn, looking down at her shoes. "Don't be fucking dumb," she mumbles, unable to lift her gaze.</p><p>"What do you mean, <em>dumb?" </em>Chaewon parrots. "Do you not have a working mirror at home, or?"</p><p>"Oh my god, shut <em>up,"</em></p><p>"I'm telling you, you're actually stunning. Like a, I don't know, a fucking flower or something,"</p><p> "A <em>flower. </em>How poetic,"</p><p>"Yeah!" Chaewon stands by her decision. "A flower. Flower Minju~" she coos, reaching out and pinching Minju's cheek.</p><p>Minju's face flushes even harder, yet she makes no movement to move Chaewon away. "You're so embarrassing, oh my god,"</p><p>"That's what I'm gonna call you now!" Chaewon announces with a giggle, eyes playful and grin childlike and <em>shit </em>she's so fucking <em>pretty. </em>"Flower,"</p><p>Minju won't admit it, but the newfound nickname spreads a warmth throughout her chest, buzzing pleasantly beneath her skin. It only adds to the otherworldly haze of the night, especially when Chaewon adds her phone number to her contacts, and saves it under <em>flower.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yuri comes out onto the balcony not long after, a pretty out of it Yena in tow. "Hey, Minju? God, you guys are still out here?"</p><p>Both Minju and Chaewon turn at the sound of her voice, though Minju doesn't make any effort to provide an excuse for as to why she's <em>still </em>with Chaewon after all this time. "Do you need anything?"</p><p>Yuri tilts her head in Yena's direction, the elder draped over her back in a bear hug, gazing up at Yuri with a drunken smile on her face. Minju sees her mumble something quietly - probably Yuri's name - before burying her nose into the junction between Yuri's shoulder and neck. "Yena's totally out of it," she explains. "And as adorable as she is drunk, all this EDM is melting my brain," her lip curls in disgust. "The DJ has no taste,"</p><p>Chaewon raises her glass lazily in Yuri's direction. "Hear hear,"</p><p>That earns her a nod of respect from Yuri, before she turns back to Minju. "So we're gonna head, it's getting late anyways,"</p><p>Minju glances down at her watch and <em>shit, </em>since when was it 5am?</p><p>She's been talking to Chaewon for five and a half hours.</p><p>"I should probably go home too..." she ponders aloud. "Are you guys getting a cab?"</p><p>Yuri nods. "Yeah. You coming with, Chaewon?"</p><p>Behind her, Yena mumbles a muffled "<em>Chaewonie</em>," into Yuri's shirt, pulling endeared smiles from both Yuri and Chaewon. "I'm alright, thanks," she looks over her shoulder, out behind her. "The Sun should be rising in little under an hour. I'll stay to watch it,"</p><p>Of <em>course </em>she's the kind of person who watches sunrises.</p><p>Minju pushes herself off of the railing, walking towards Yuri. She turns around to face Chaewon, throwing her a small smile. "I'll see you?"</p><p>Chaewon smiles gently, raising her hand lazily in a small wave. Her voice changes from before, light and soft like buttercream. "See you, flower,"</p><p>The cab journey home is silent, as they often are, always that extra bit more awkward with the driver able to hear their conversations. Minju's pretty sure that Yuri attempted small talk with him to distract from Yena's drunken mumbles, but had given up after a few generic conversation starters. She's sat in the passenger seat, and when she turns around to look at Minju with a gleam in her eye- well, Minju knows what's coming.</p><p> "So," Yuri starts, smirk playing on her lips. <em>"Flower, </em>huh?"</p><p> Minju blushes furiously, eyes trained on her hands wrung in her lap. "Shut up," she mumbles.</p><p> "You two were out there with each other the entire night," Yuri presses. "And here I was, thinking that Chaewon was tryna rekindle something with Yena. What did you guys even talk about?"</p><p> Minju shrugs her shoulders, looking out the window. "Everything, I suppose," she pauses. "Conversation with her was... easy,"</p><p>"Do you like her?"</p><p>"Dunno,"</p><p>"Oh my god, Minju, c'mon!"</p><p>"I've barely even known her for a day, how can you expect me to make a reasonable judgement?"</p><p>Yuri looks like she's trying really hard not to laugh at her. "Ok, well, let me word it differently. Based on tonight, if I were to ask you if you like Chaewon or not, what would you say?"</p><p>Minju huffs out a sigh, running a hand through her hair. "Yes,"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"What is this, twenty questions?"</p><p>"I'm just making sure my friend isn't falling for the wrong people,"</p><p>Minju gasps quietly. "I never said I was <em>falling </em>for her!" She hisses.</p><p>Yuri waves a hand at her dismissively. "Minju, she called you flower for crying out loud. Don't even bother lying by saying that nothing happened,"</p><p>"Nothing <em>did </em>happen!" Minju insists, being wary of the driver by keeping her voice low.</p><p>Yuri ignores her, the lights from the city casting eerie glows of bright, coloured lights onto her face. "How did she even start calling you flower anyway? Did it just... happen?"</p><p>Minju felt her face flush. "She... oh my god, this is so embarrassing," she fans at her face, feeing hot. "I cannot believe you're making me tell you all this,"</p><p>"C'mon, just say it!"</p><p>Minju tried to bite back a smile in vain, recalling Chaewon's words from earlier. "She... called me pretty. Like a flower,"</p><p>"Oh yeah!" Yuri exclaims in a whisper. "What was it she called you before Yena and I left? Sickeningly attractive,"</p><p>"Disgustingly attractive," Minju mutters a correction, maybe a bit too fast.</p><p>Yuri grins. "Well I don't know about you, Minguri, but in my books, that's called flirting,"</p><p>Minju folds her arms across her chest. Being outside during the night had definitely taken its toll, and although she hadn't noticed at the time, the cold had slowly been seeping it's way into her skin, now like an icy sheet beneath her flesh. "Maybe she was just being nice,"</p><p>Yuri rolls her eyes at that, which to be fair, Minju can understand. "That is the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard. Please tell me you attempted to flirt back,"</p><p>"I... well I don't know, she said she wouldn't mind me flattering her? So I-"</p><p> "Whoa whoa whoa," Yuri holds up a hand to stop her. "She wouldn't mind you flattering her? What kinda conversation were you guys having for her to say something like that?" She questions.</p><p>Minju feels herself growing hotter. "I think I said something, can't really remember what, but she said <em>don't flatter me, </em>so then, uh... then I said <em>bet you want me to," </em>she doesn't look Yuri in the eyes, picking at the peeling leather of the seats. "So then she goes <em>well while we're on that topic, if you wanna flatter me, then I'm not gonna stop you,"</em></p><p>Yuri grins devilishly. "I cannot believe this. You actually flirted back. What did you say?"</p><p>"Uh... called her gorgeous, I think,"</p><p>Yuri clutches at her heart dramatically. "That's the cutest thing, oh my god. You know what that's called?"</p><p>Minju shakes her head, frowning.</p><p>"That, my friend, is called whipped culture,"</p><p>"Fuck off, oh my <em>god," </em></p><p>After the cab driver dropped her off, accompanied by Yuri glancing at the climbing fare with her jaw on the floor, Minju bid her farewell and watched them drive off.</p><p>The engine splutters and coughs its way into the distance, slowly growing quieter until Minju's estate is bathed in silence once more. Exhaling softly, she fishes around the pocket of her jacket for the spare set of house keys, taking them out with a satisfied hum. She unlocks the door and steps inside, the house seeming void of life except for the alarm, which is promptly switched off. She toes of her shoes as she locks the hall door, kicking them to the side.</p><p>She makes her way upstairs and opens the door handle to her room quietly, walking inside before shutting the door behind her. She doesn't bother switching on her light, or taking off her clothes, just sheds herself of her jacket and falls back onto the soft quilt of her bed. She allows her eyes fall shut, inhaling and exhaling easily for a few moments. She lets the night's memories lap over her like a tide, smiling to herself at the buzzing beneath her skin given to her by- well, by <em>Chaewon.</em></p><p>Blindly, Minju feels around her pocket for her phone, pulling it out and switching it on, already half asleep. She doesn't even admit to herself how her heart starts to palpitate wildly in her chest, however, when Chaewon's name appears bold on the screen, a text message coming through.</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>you home, flower?</p><p>Minju bites her lip to cry and contain her smile, the feeling in her stomach akin to that feeling you get when you drop vertically on a rollercoaster.</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>yeah, just in the door</p><p>Minju nibbles at her fingernail as she anticipates Chaewon's reply, staring intently at that small bubble to show she's typing on the left hand side of the screen.</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>glad you're safe<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>you should look outside<br/><b>Chaewon: </b><br/>the sunrise is gorgeous</p><p>Curious, Minju reaches out and draws back her curtain, peeking outside at the sky. True to Chaewon's words, the sky is a molten haze of pinks and oranges, the sun on the tip of the horizon, the bright colours fading into soft blues in the west.</p><p><b>Me: </b><br/>it's rly pretty</p><p><b>Chaewon: </b><br/>not as pretty as you</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>you planned that didn't you</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>...<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>maybe</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>well thank you<br/><b>Me:</b><br/>you should probably head home too</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>ok mOM</p><p><b>Me: </b><br/>oh fuck off</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>don't worry ur pretty self<br/><b>Chaewon: </b><br/>a cab is on its way to pick me up</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>good</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>flower?</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>mm?</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>I had a really nice time tonight<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>thank you for talking to me<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>and for staying</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>fuck that was nothing <br/><b>Me: </b><br/>don't thank me for smth like that<br/><b>Me:</b><br/>but for what it's worth, I had a good time too</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>fuck ur so cute I'm on the floor in tears???</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>stfu</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>that is the most adorable thing I'm-</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>im blocking you</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>well that's a pity<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>cuz I was just about to ask when I get to see you again</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>fuck<br/><b>Me:</b><br/>how are you so smooth</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>some people are just naturally gifted, flower <br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>but I'll let you sleep on that, you must be tired</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>yeah actually<br/><b>Me: </b><br/>I'll text you later k</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>sweet dreams, flower </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Minju's conscience hasn't recovered from last Saturday night, or maybe she's just running low on sleep, but whatever it is, she cannot for the <em>life </em>of her understand what her teacher is saying right now. What topic are they even covering right now? Geometry? No, that can't be right, the teacher's writing up algebra equations on the board.</p><p>Those <em>are </em>algebra equations, aren't they? Aren't they a bit... long?</p><p>Giving up with a sigh, Minju folds her arms across the table, resting her chin on them and letting one eye fall shut.</p><p>She hasn't been able to shake Chaewon from her thoughts, not since she first laid her eyes on the girl. Her image dances behind her eyelids whenever she shuts them, her words play like a broken record in her ears whenever she tries to listen. The word <em>flower </em>is audible wherever she goes, is triggered by almost everything she sees. The bed of poppies by the front of the school alone had made Minju's cheeks the colour of their petals, reminded nothing of the way the word fell from Chaewon's cranberry coloured lips, the way Minju answered to it now like a second nature.</p><p>The way Chaewon had compared her to one so easily, in the prime of her vulnerability, giggling and smiling as she pinched Minju's cheeks, yet had still continued calling her it so effortlessly.</p><p>Minju wondered how she did it. It would've taken her years to muster up the courage to do something like that, and even then, it wouldn't have been done so... cleanly.</p><p>Then again, Chaewon seems to have her life sorted out more than Minju's. She recalls how the older's eyes had lit up when Yena remembered her musical studies, the way her careless, languid persona had switched to something... something childlike, something easily excited. Minju makes a mental note to ask her about music again, just to see her eyes light up like that again.</p><p>Minju, however... doesn't. She doesn't have a passion, doesn't have anything that makes her eyes light up when she talks. Nothing is interesting.</p><p>She's not too sure, but it's like at some point someone draped a grey veil over her life. It's thin, and she can see through it without much trouble, but it desaturated the colours she sees, and just sort of... made her less excited about everything as a whole.</p><p>But when she was with Chaewon... it's like the other girl had lifted up that veil, and all those colours had come streaming in at once, blinding and bright and... <em>invigorating</em>. It was like Minju had barely time to think before she'd been left breathless by all these colours that seemed to crash over her like waves would to the shore.</p><p>Chaewon made her excited, that night. Reminded her that there's more to life than living behind that same, dull, monochrome veil.</p><p>Chaewon lives in a world of saturated colours, and Minju wants to go there more than anything.</p><p>But now, the veil is thickening and she can barely see through it. She- she <em>knows </em>there's a world of passion and excitement and things that'll make her heart <em>race</em> in her chest on the other side, but... but she <em>can't. </em>The veil is heavy, she's drowning in it, its holding her down and stopping her inhales, and she can't- she can't do <em>anything </em>so she just lets it do what it wants.</p><p>She's been drowning in the veil for years now. And she'd almost become used to it, but Chaewon... Chaewon reminded her what it's like on the other side, and she wants nothing more than to go back.</p><p>"Kim Minju!"</p><p>Minju flinches violently in her seat, raising her eyes to see twenty pairs - including the teacher's - staring right at her. The teacher's lip curls like curdling milk, her gaze just as sour as she crosses her arms.</p><p>Minju resists the strong urge to bang her head on the table. She's so <em>sick </em>of all this.</p><p>"What do you think you're doing?"</p><p>Minju's unsure of how to answer, so she just responds with the truth. "Nothing?"</p><p>"Exactly!" The teacher spits accusingly, spraying saliva on the poor girl sat in the front row. "Do you not think that you of all people should be doing a bit more than <em>nothing?"</em></p><p>A low chorus of <em>ooh </em>ripples around the classroom, making the teacher glare at them harder. Her eyebrows are pinched so tight together that Minju's worried the old thing's entire face is going to turn itself inside out.</p><p>"Quiet!" She seethes through her crooked teeth, before pointing a bony, wrinkled finger at Minju. "You better step up, because I'm not going to do it for you. It's either pay attention to my class, or throw away any chance at a successful future," her eyes are beady, like a rat's, as they bore into Minju's. "Though something tells me that's already lost to the wind,"</p><p>Some students stare at the teacher with open jaws as she turns back around to face the white board, some keep their eyes trained on her textbook. Minju grits her teeth, hard, glaring daggers into her back, wishing she could just get up and leave.</p><p>But it's the veil that stops her, the veil that forces her head down to look down at her textbook, and try and make sense of the numbers, x's and y's swimming around inside her head.</p><p>Minju wants nothing more than to tear this veil to shreds.</p><p>"That was... interesting, to say the least," Yuri mutters once they've left the classroom, the ringing bell signalling the start of lunch.</p><p>"Fucking bitch," Minju glares at the door of the classroom over her shoulder. "There's not a day that goes by where she doesn't start giving out to someone for no reason. Like I was literally just sitting there,"</p><p>"With your head in your arms," Yuri points out, stuffing her books into her locker and grabbing her lunch money.</p><p>"So?" Minju queries, mimicking Yuri's actions. "I could be going through emotional trauma right now for all she knows,"</p><p>"And are you?" Yuri asks cheekily, throwing an arm around her shoulders, struggling a little because of her shorter height.</p><p>"Might as well be," Minju mutters.</p><p>Yuri tuts. "Girl trouble still?"</p><p>"I think I'm going to give up on asking you to shut up, because it just doesn't work anymore,"</p><p>Yuri snickers. "That's not a no,"</p><p>Minju pushes open the door to the cafeteria, welcomed by the energetic buzz of chattering students. "You're right, it's not,"</p><p>"Did you text at all?"</p><p>"A little. Like, one conversation,"</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>Minju raises an eyebrow. "You know, your interest in my non-existent love life is quite terrifying,"</p><p>Yuri snorts, paying for her food before they both grab a table to sit at. "Don't try and dodge the question,"</p><p>"It was nothing, really. I was just saying that she should go home. She... she keeps calling me flower," Minju stirs her food idly.</p><p>"Isn't that a good thing?" Yuri asks. "If you like her, I mean?"</p><p>Minju stills her movements. "I don't... I don't <em>like </em>like her yet, if that makes sense. But with the way things are going, I think it isn't long before I do. I just... I don't know, what if she doesn't mean it in <em>that </em>sort of way?"</p><p>"You mean platonically?"</p><p> Minju nods.</p><p>Yuri tilts her head. "Why would you think that?"</p><p><em>Because she already has people paying her to go on dates with them </em>is what Minju thinks to herself, but she keeps her mouth shut. She shrugs nonchalantly. "I don't know. What do you think of her?"</p><p>"Of Chaewon?"</p><p>"No, of the fucking president,"</p><p>"Well sorry," Yuri makes a face. "No but seriously..." she pauses. "Well, she's really pretty, isn't she?"</p><p>Minju scoffs. "No need to remind me,"</p><p>"I mean, I really didn't get to talk to her that much, but we agreed that that DJ had shitty taste, so you must be doing something right. She plays music as well, doesn't she?"</p><p>Minju hums. "I forgot to ask her what instrument. Her voice sounds nice, she might sing,"</p><p>Yuri whistles lowly. "If you're waxing poetry about her voice already, that's a sure sign that you're a gonner, Minguri,"</p><p>Minju only glares at her, only to flinch slightly once she feels her phone buzz in her pocket. Looking around to check for any beady eyed teachers first, she takes her phone out and sees a message on the lock screen.</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>u free after school, flower?</p><p>Minju groans to herself, Yuri picking up on the sound immediately. "Whats wrong?"</p><p>"It's Chaewon," Minju replies, rubbing at her face. "She wants to know if I'm free after school,"</p><p>"And are you?"</p><p>"I am now,"</p><p>Yuri chuckles to herself. "Tell her, then,"</p><p>Doing as Yuri says, Minju unlocks her phone and types out a quick reply.</p><p><b>Me: </b><br/>perhaps I could clear my non-existent schedule for you, yes</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>Perfect<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>You up for some coffee?</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>Anytime, anywhere, as long as there's caffeine</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>my life motto, wow</p><p><b>Me: </b><br/>a fellow intellectual i see</p><p><b>Chaewon: </b><br/>I know this place, it shouldn't be too far from where you are<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>I'll send you the address?</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>Sounds good</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>well then I'll see you there, flower</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"What do you want?" Chaewon mumbles in Minju's ear, her eyes scanning the blackboard on which the menu had been neatly scrawled onto.</p><p>Minju could hardly form a coherent sentence, because Chaewon in broad daylight is <em>much </em>different to Chaewon bathed in the dark.</p><p>The sunlight gets caught in her hair, a waterfall of curling rose gold strands running down her spine. She's dressed more casual than before, yet still more fashionable than Minju could ever hope to achieve: porcelain white baseball cap snug on top of her head, ripped black jeans that hug her legs tight, and a purposefully large bomber jacket that seems to swallow her whole. Rounded specs are perched on the bridge of her nose, and while they're there for fashion purposes more than anything, Minju can't help but wonder how someone makes them look both cool and <em>cute </em>at the same time. Her honey toned skin holds a natural glow to it, cheeks rosy and full.</p><p>"Flower," Chaewon catches her staring, lazy smirk on her lips. "Hate to break it to you, but I'm not on the menu,"</p><p>Minju swallows hard at her words, eyes snapping away from Chaewon to gaze back at the endless list of available drinks. "I, uh-" there's an excess of saliva in her mouth that just doesn't seem to go away. "I'll just have tea," she requests, ignoring Chaewon's words because <em>how on earth was she supposed to reply to something like that?</em></p><p>(With something equally as flirtatious, is probably the correct answer, but it's the afternoon and Minju's brain is positively fried, sue her.)</p><p>Chaewon hums, and Minju can feel her eyes boring into her skull, can see the way the corners of her lips turn up in her peripheral vision. "That's all you want?"</p><p>
  <em>I want you.</em>
</p><p>"That's all,"</p><p>Chaewon hums again, lethargic and drawn out. Minju turns her head to look at her, the elder's eyes sparkling. "You're so cute, you know that?"</p><p>Minju flushes even harder, bringing her head down to look at her shoes, mumbling something along the lines of <em>shut up.</em></p><p>Chaewon sighs, over dramatic. "I really shouldn't tease, but your cheeks turn such a pretty shade of pink when you blush. I'm just a girl, flower, what do you expect me to do?"</p><p>Minju raises her chin from where it had been tucked into her chest. "Well, you can make a start by stopping calling me flower,"</p><p>Chaewon's expression falters, hesitant. "Why? Do you not like it?"</p><p>Minju looks up at the ceiling, pretending to think. "I... I think I like it a bit too much,"</p><p>"Fuck," Chaewon groans. "Can you just stop being so adorable and let me get to know you? Even just for half an hour? I feel like we had a thing going there until you started ruining everything with that God forsaken smile of yours,"</p><p>Minju smiles, a bit softer than intended. "Gosh, guess we'll have to call everything off then. Pity, I was just getting used to putting up with you,"</p><p>Chaewon ignores her side remark, placing a hand over her heart. "It's always the girls with the pretty smiles," she locks eyes with Minju. "I guess I'll never learn,"</p><p>"Next?" The voice of the barista interrupts them, bland and monotonous. She's drumming her fingernails on the counter top, chin resting on her fist.</p><p>"Hi," Chaewon smiles sweetly, overpowering the scent of cinnamon and vanilla wafting throughout the place. "Could I get a decaf caffè mocha with two shots of vanilla please? Oh, with caramel too, if that's alright,"</p><p>
  <em>Sweet just like her.</em>
</p><p>Minju catches herself. Since when does she think like that? Sorry, Shakespeare who?</p><p>"Cream?" The barista asks, eyes droopy.</p><p>Chaewon's eyes turn into soft crescents. "Lots, please,"</p><p>"And you?" The barista asks, turning to Minju, just bursting with enthusiasm (not).</p><p>"I'll just have a tea," Minju responds quietly, feeling trumped by Chaewon's specific order.</p><p>It's not long before their drinks are ready and they're sat opposite each other at a table by the window, Chaewon resting her chin in her palms while waiting for her drink to cool a little. She's got that same, slightly amused smile playing on her lips.</p><p>"What're you smiling for?" Minju asks self consciously, holding her takeaway cup close to her chest for warmth.</p><p>"I don't know," Chaewon shrugs, smile firm on her face. "I just started smiling so, I don't know," </p><p>
  <em>Why is that so cute, shit.</em>
</p><p>Minju takes a short, tentative sip of her drink, before retracting her lips from the lid quickly. It's scalding. "Well," she starts. "I think we should both take this chance to get to know each other a little better. Like you said earlier, don't you think?"</p><p>Chaewon hums. "Yeah, we kinda skipped that part at the party, didn't we? Want me to start?"</p><p>"Go ahead,"</p><p>"Well..." Chaewon knits her brows, thinking. "My name's Chaewon," she giggles. "And I'm eighteen. Nineteen on August first,"</p><p>Minju raises an eyebrow. "Eighteen? That's young for college,"</p><p>"Nearly nineteen!" Chaewon huffs, crossing her arms. "I started school a little young, so that's why. Everyone was older than me, which sucked,"</p><p>Minju leans back in her chair. "But college is better, right? You're studying music?"</p><p>And there it is.</p><p>Chaewon's eyes seem to take on a new life inside her head, bright and gleaming and darting around in excitement. A giddy smile jumps on her lips, and she becomes jittery.</p><p>"Uh huh!" She nods, positively beaming. "I didn't really like anything in school except for music, so I worked pretty hard at it and nothing else so that I could get into a good college," her cheeks become dusted with rose, bashful. "My music teacher couldn't believe it when all my other teachers complained to her about how lazy and unproductive I was. She must've thought I was some child prodigy or something,"</p><p>Minju leans across the table with intrigue. "So what do you do?"</p><p>Chaewon's expression is dreamy. "I sing," she replies softly, her voice like buttercream once more, light and airy and unimaginably sweet. "I play the guitar too, so I often do both at the same time.</p><p>"Knew it," Minju mutters aloud, words that were supposed to stay inside her head.</p><p>"Knew what?" Chaewon inquires.</p><p>Minju smiles at her. "Knew you'd sing. Even your talking voice... shit, it's so nice,"</p><p>Chaewon raises a brow, arrogant, and the sudden switch from sweet to confident sends Minju's mind spinning. "Is it now?" She asks, even though they both know the answer, lacing one arm over the back of her chair. She's <em>hot.</em></p><p>Minju hums. "Could listen to you talking for hours,"</p><p>Chaewon smirks. "Well aren't you in luck that I'm so willing to talk with you?"</p><p>"If only your words were as sweet as your voice,"</p><p>Chaewon threads her fingers together, resting her chin on them. She smiles, all crescent moon eyes and rosy cheeks. "I can be as sweet as you like," she offers, and her voice has changed again, back to that sugary, syrupy tone. "But <em>sweet</em> doesn't always comply with people's tastes,"</p><p>"What're you saying?" Minju asks.</p><p>Chaewon opens her eyes again, and they're dark, voluptuous. "I have a tendency to become a bit... demanding when I want something," her voice has changed again, sounding like something new this time. Like rich, dark, chocolate fondue has been lathed all over her words. "So if it's you that I want..." the corner of her lips turns upwards. "Then I expect you to give me what I want,"</p><p>Minju's heart rate is spiked inside her chest, but she tries her hardest to remain calm on the exterior. "And <em>do </em>you want me?"</p><p>Chaewon's expression becomes a little more playful. "And where would be the fun in telling you the answer to that?"</p><p>Minju tuts. "Jeez, you were really on a roll there. How do you do that so easily? Like that would tire me the fuck out,"</p><p>"Practise, flower," Chaewon winks, and <em>shit </em>now she's cute all over again. "Well, I think it's your go now,"</p><p>Minju blinks at her. "But you barely-"</p><p>"Hush!" Chaewon cuts across her, face stern but eyes lively. "Off you go,"</p><p>"Uh..." Minju starts, ever the intellectual. Chaewon's smile is too distracting, Chaewon's eyes are too distracting, Chaewon's cute rounded glasses perched on the end of her nose in <em>too distracting. </em>"Well, I'm eighteen, but I only turned it back in February. So, yeah, still in school," she adds unenthusiastically.</p><p>"And how's that going?" Chaewon asks, finally taking a sip of her drink. It's filled to the brim with dark brown liquid, with an abundance of whipped cream on top, drowning in caramel sauce. She hums delightfully at the taste.</p><p>"Like shit," Minju lets out a short puff of laughter, humourless. "There's not a single class that I actually enjoy. I'm not like you. I don't... I don't really have anything that I <em>like</em>,"</p><p>"Really?" Chaewon asks, looking surprised. "Gosh, and here I was, so sure of myself that modelling was definitely your thing,"</p><p>Minju only blinks at her. "You- you are so fucking smooth, like what the fuck. Stop attacking me,"</p><p>Chaewon chuckles, seeming pleased. "I'm serious though!" She insists, tone very not-serious sounding. "I could see you on the cover of Vogue and I wouldn't think twice about it,"</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes. "Don't exaggerate,"</p><p>"No, ok, just listen to me. Your face is literal perfection. Like... fuck, it's not fair. I swear, in all my years, I have never seen someone as beautiful as you. And I'm dead serious,"</p><p>Well shit.</p><p>Serious Chaewon is scary.</p><p>(And kinda hot too, but Minju digresses.)</p><p>"Well," Minju flushes, looking down at her shoes. "Thank you," her voice is a lot smaller than she wanted it to be.</p><p>"No problem," Minju can hear the grin in Chaewon's voice, even if she can't see her. "And just in case you were wondering, your personality seems just as nice. Just so you know that I'm not just here because you're literally gorgeous. That's like, an added bonus,"</p><p>Minju only flushes harder.</p><p>"I was thinking of getting a slice of cake, but I don't really want a full one," Chaewon sighs distressfully, changing the subject. "You wanna share?"</p><p>Minju looks up, eyes darting to Chaewon's drink, before looking back at her. "You're telling me you're drinking coffee with <em>that </em>much sugar in it, and you want cake?"</p><p>Chaewon stands up, smile dangerous looking. "Let me rephrase that," she speaks calmly. "I'm going to get a slice of cake, and you're going to share it with me, ok?"</p><p>Minju remembers Chaewon's words from earlier, and realises all too late that she'll never really be able to deny this girl anything.</p><p>"Whatever you say,"</p><p>Chaewon grins, pleased looking. "That's what I thought"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So... this jobof yours," Minju starts, watching endeared as Chaewon grazes her finger along the icing of the cake, popping whatever of the sugary treat she'd collected into her mouth, humming contentedly at the taste. True to Chaewon's word, they'd shared a slice of cake, and then one had turned into two, and then three, and now Minju really can't understand how Chaewon can stomach a fourth.</p><p>They've been here for two hours. Perhaps spending too much time with Chaewon is gonna be a habit, whether it be good or bad Minju has yet to decide.</p><p>"Uh huh?" Chaewon replies, doe eyes blinking owlishly.</p><p>"Tell me about it. I'm... intrigued,"</p><p>Chaewon's eyes sparkle. "What, you tryna steal my position?" She teases.</p><p>"As if," Minju scoffs. "I guess you could say I've never- like, I'm not really a part of that...." she gestures lamely with her hands. "That world."</p><p>"Isn't that a Disney song?"</p><p>"That's besides the point,"</p><p>"Well," Chaewon lays down her fork, leaning back in her seat. "What do you wanna know?"</p><p>Minju blinks. "Um, I don't know. Do you, like, have more than one guy on the go?"</p><p>Chaewon tries to bite back a grin. "<em>More than one guy on the go," </em>she mumbles to herself, seeming amused. Minju doesn't have it in her to retaliate. "No, I'm just being paid by one guy," she pauses, thinking. "Well, its less like being <em>paid," </em>she explains. "The money I get I use for my tuition and my dorm on campus. But other than that, my payment is... gifts, if that's what you wanna call it,"</p><p>"Shit," Minju breaths. "That's a fuck tonne. What kinda gifts does he buy you?"</p><p>"Like anything," Chaewon shrugs. "Since he takes me out so much, he usually buys me clothes to wear. He'd rather die than go out with me dressed like this," she picks at her sweater, the one that Minju was very sure had the Saint Laurent logo on the back. "I'm talking silk, satin, anything like that, it's probably in my closet," she smirks. "I've got expensive taste. So it's a win win,"</p><p>
  <em>What I wouldn't give to see you dressed in silk and satin again.</em>
</p><p>"Other than that, its perfume, jewellery, make up, you know what I mean," she holds up her fingers, adorned with dainty rings of all sorts. "Sometimes if I don't like them I'll sell them. But that rarely happens," her eyes gleam. "He got me a car too,"</p><p>Minju nearly chokes on her third cup of tea. "A <em>car?" </em>She parrots, Chaewon nodding.</p><p>"Yup. A tesla model three, in black and red because he's a stuck up prick. He said it's only in case he doesn't have one of his own on hand and he's going out with me,"</p><p>Minju holds up a hand. "Sorry, I lost you there when you said <em>one of his own. </em>As in, he's got more than one car for just himself,"</p><p>"He's got seven, flower,"</p><p>"Oh, because we all need one for everyday of the week, obviously,"</p><p>Chaewon snorts. "You joke, but that's actually what he does,"</p><p>Minju feels her jaw hit the ground. "Shut up. Shut up and tell me you're joking,"</p><p>Chaewon shakes her head, grinning childishly. "I really wish I was. The Lamborghini's for Mondays, Mercedes for Tuesdays, and so on. He likes to keep the Rolls Royce for Sundays, drives me up and down the city just to show it off,"</p><p>"He sounds like an asshole,"</p><p>Chaewon sighs, grin melting like snow. "He is, flower," she draws patterns into the mahogany table. "A stuck up asshole with so much money that he's got no idea what to do with it. He gets his income from this big cigar company he runs back from where he's from, I wasn't listening when he told me where it's situated. Somewhere in Europe, away from the mainland. Maybe Scandinavia, or the British Isles or something like that. Imports over the cigars, the kind of ones you smoke after you've just signed a big business deal, and advertises them as these super exotic, grand things. I'd bet they're nothing but rat poison, because that's just how he is. A lying, conceited asshole,"</p><p>Minju furrows her brow. "Is he- is he an asshole to you?"</p><p>Chaewon purses her lips. "I mean, not really," her voice is that bit quieter. "But then I remember that he's a forty-something year old guy who gets off on seeing a sixteen year old dressed in Gucci, so he must he fucked up in the head somehow,"</p><p>Minju narrows her eyes. "But you said you're eighteen," she points out.</p><p>"Ah," Chaewon nods, taking a sip of her drink. "That's the thing. No ones gonna pay you once you're not a minor any more. Cuz then you... it's like you're more aware of like, your rights and shit. So as far as he's concerned, I'm still sixteen,"</p><p>Minju scans her face, and from her bright eyes to her rosy cheeks, she decides that Chaewon could easily pass off as younger than she actually is. "And what does he... what does he make you do?"</p><p>Chaewon hums in thought. "Just kinda takes me out to dinner and stuff. He's so far up his own ass that he just talks about himself for the entire night, so I just block it all out and pretend I'm listening. We go do dead rich places, like places so grand they'd make your head spin. And hear me, flower, everyone in those places is in the same position as me. It's all middle aged men and women with teenagers, like it's kinda gross but hey," she shrugs. "Survival of the fittest,"</p><p>Minju swallows. "That's... so foreign to me, like I would have no idea that it'd be such a..."</p><p>"Big business?" Chaewon prompts, and Minju nods. "Trust me, flower, it's everywhere. Sometimes it's not as noticeable because the age gaps aren't as drastic, but it's there,"</p><p>"And do you like it? Like, no offence, but hanging out with a guy twice my age on a Friday night doesn't sound exactly... appealing,"</p><p>Chaewon snorts. "Listen, none taken," she seems to ponder her answer before replying, gathering the remaining crumbs of the cake left on the plate and popping them into her mouth. "I suppose it is a bit... weird at times, when I take a step back and really look at it," she scrunches up her nose. "But I've been doing this for what, two, three years now? I'm kinda used to it,"</p><p>Minju swears she misheard her. "You've been doing this since you were <em>fifteen</em>?"</p><p>Chaewon nods, as if she's talking about the weather or something. "But that's a story for another time, flower. I think... it's not that I enjoy spending time with him, that's a given. I think it's the <em>control </em>I like,"</p><p>Minju narrows her eyes. If it's Chaewon that's dependent on this guy, if he's the one finding her, then how is <em>she </em>the one in control?</p><p>"Trust me, flower, he may think he's got control over me, but he's so wrong," Chaewon's voice returns to that rich, chocolatey tone. "Men like him... they've got their shit together. Big talking guys in conference rooms won't make them budge, but all it takes is a pretty girl to bat their lashes and their wallets open up like money is nothing," her voice drops, quieter, but dangerously so. "Men like him are so fucking weak for pretty things," she smirks. "All I'm doing is taking advantage of it,"</p><p>It's when Chaewon speaks those words that it dawns on Minju that the other girl is something akin to a genius. She's taken something potentially dangerous and- and <em>warped </em>it to suit her own tastes. She'd taken the initiative to make her own money her own way, whether it's ethical or not, to pursue her own passion.</p><p>She's... kinda scary. And Minju's so infatuated.</p><p>Chaewon stretches lethargically, as if she didn't just blow Minju away with her short monologue. "He'll probably kill me for eating so much. I'll just make up some excuse," she taps her cheek. "Is my face swollen?"</p><p>
  <em>As pretty as when you first arrived.</em>
</p><p>"No, you're fine," Minju answers in a small voice, and Chaewon frowns.</p><p>"I haven't put you off, have I?"</p><p>Minju instantly shakes her head vigorously, eyes wide. "Oh god no," she answers all too quickly. "Don't worry, I- I'm just kinda taking it in. Like, you're sort of a genius,"</p><p>Chaewon smiles softly. "If you want to call <em>manipulating the desires of middle aged men </em>genius, then go ahead,"</p><p>"Yeah, but like... like I could never do something like that," Minju leans forward, arms folded on the table.</p><p>Chaewon mimics her position, eyes glimmering like pools of minuscule diamonds have been poured into her irises. "I get the feeling that you can do a lot of things. It's probably why you're not passionate about anything; you strike me as a jack of all trades,"</p><p>Minju hums in thought. "I mean, kind of. Like, I'm pretty good at a few things, but that's it. I'm not really talented at one particular thing, I'm just... good," her voice goes flat towards the end of her sentence.</p><p>Chaewon sighs to herself, twirling a strand of her strawberry curls around her index finger. "Don't stress, ok? You'll find something you're good at, I know it may not seem like it, but you've got all the time in the world. When I was younger, everyone was living in the future. Like all the people around me were so stressed about how their choices would affect them in the future that we were all just kinda... not present. It was like everyone was tryna live out their college days at sixteen," she scoffs. "High school was so fucking toxic. Just a building full of depressed kids making decisions that they're not educated to make but hey, at least they know the infinite numbers of pie, right?"</p><p>Minju quirks a smile. "Since when was this a therapy session, huh?"</p><p>Chaewon smiles sheepishly. "Sorry," she apologises. "High school fucked me up. Kinda passionate about the topic," she tilts her head. "It's fucked you over too, hasn't it flower?"</p><p>Minju nods glumly. "Think so. They try so hard to- to like, force different things down our throats in such large amounts that we all just come to <em>hate </em>them all. Like I get that they're tryna keep things like, like I dunno, poetry alive and shit, but no one's going to want to do that when all poetry reminds them of is how depressed they were as a teen, you get me?"</p><p>Chaewon smiles at her. "You, Minju, are an intellectual,"</p><p>"You, Chaewon, can shut the fuck up,"</p><p>Chaewon chuckles to herself. "You're really cute you know," her smile makes her cheeks glow even more than usual. "I like talking to you. A lot,"</p><p>Minju chooses to ignore her first comment, sure that the flush rushing up her neck says enough. "Well, at least the feeling's mutual,"</p><p>"We should meet up again sometime," Chaewon suggests. "You could come over to my place or something. I promise I won't try and kidnap you, I wouldn't be allowed my dorm anymore."</p><p>"Charming," Minju remarks.</p><p>"Well listen," Chaewon looks at the time on her phone. "I'd best get going, we're headed out for dinner later. If I don't work off all this cake by then then I'll be murdered for wasting money by not eating the food I'm given,"</p><p>Her words irk Minju a small bit, but she chooses not to make a comment. "I've got homework and shit to do either way, so," she shrugs. "But it was nice talking again, yeah? I... had a good time," she gushes.</p><p>Chaewon coos. "Oh my gosh, you're actually so adorable,"</p><p>"No I'm not,"</p><p>"But you <em>are,"</em></p><p>"But I'm not,"</p><p>"Look at you, pretty thing,"</p><p>Minju chokes on her saliva, no like actually starts coughing up a fit, and Chaewon bursts into laughter. "Fuck-" she's cut off by another lurch, face red. "Fuck you,"</p><p>"Maybe another day, flower," Chaewon jokes, eyes gleaming mercilessly.</p><p>"Oh my <em>god," </em>Minju groans, letting her forehead come to a rest on the table with a low <em>thud. </em>"You're actually gonna be the death of me,"</p><p>"Not a bad way to go huh?"</p><p>Minju has a snarky reply on the tip of her tongue, but just as she opens her mouth, she's cut off by the loud sound of a car horn. She looks out the window to see a sleek, shiny black sports car, low purr of the engine audible even from inside the café.</p><p>She sees the corner of Chaewon's lips quirk. "Told you the Lamborghini was for Mondays,"</p><p>Minju gawks. "That car's for you?" She exclaims.</p><p>"I said it before, he's a conceited prick," Chaewon stands up out of her seat, slinging her handbag over her shoulder. "He must want me back at his place, probably for a new outfit or something. I'll see you soon though, won't I?" Her tone is casual, though there's a hint of doubt smothered by her air of indifference.</p><p>"Of course," Minju responds, and Chaewon pays her back with an easy smile.</p><p>"Well then I'll see you around, flower," she gives Minju a lazy, two fingered salute, before turning her back and walking out of the café. Minju isn't able to take her eyes off of her as she wraps her knuckles on the blacked out window of the car, as the passenger door opens (vertically, not horizontally, Minju notes).</p><p>She can only watch as Chaewon sends her a languid grin, eyes piercing before she gets inside, and the car drives off.</p><p><em>God. </em>Minju thinks to herself. <em>I'm so fucked.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju stares out of the window of the bus, humming softly to herself as she watches cars race by in a haze. To be honest, she's not too sure how she's going to stomach dinner later, not with all the cake she'd eaten, so maybe she'd just tell her mother she wasn't feeling well. Maybe keep up the act and not go into school tomorrow for some extra bonus points.</p><p>She scrolls through her playlist idly, settling on something with soft guitar for an instrumental before exhaling. She's become so attatched to Chaewon in such a short space of time, so much so that it's almost a little daunting. Like, surely coming to like someone that fast can't be natural. Yet talking to her, even finding out things about her, feels like she's talking to an old friend.</p><p>Her name is Kim Chaewon. She's eighteen ("nearly nineteen!" She'd intervene) years old. She's working on music production in college, and dorms on campus. She's got strawberry blonde hair that attracts the light of the sun, and dark brown eyes that mould into crescents when she smiles. She's got a voice like buttercream, all sugary and light, and she's got a button nose that sits snug in the middle of her face. Her skin is porcelain, like that of a doll's, and <em>shit, </em>Minju's so captivated by her.</p><p>But Chaewon's odd in the sense that she's almost like Jekyll and Hyde. One moment she'll be all smiles, tone like honey, light and intoxicatingly sweet in a way that makes Minju want to drink in her words like a drug. Yet, the next she's something darker, more sultry, and she's speaking with smooth, rich chocolate lathered over her words, champagne drizzling from each syllable drawn from her lips. Her gaze becomes more intense, her chin held that little bit higher, her stance itself a challenge, a dare. The fact that she can switch so easily in between the two is something of a feat in Minju's eyes, and it does nothing to prevent her from falling even harder.</p><p>
  <em>Falling.</em>
</p><p>The song changes, and the bus goes over a bump in the road. From where Minju's head is rested against the glass, she can feel the way the vehicle's engine trembles, rustling restlessly and sending thrums through her skeleton. The afternoon sunlight filters through the window almost in a sleepy fashion, the interior bright, but not as searing as midday. Almost as if the sun was tired.</p><p>But there's an otherworldly vibe to such an ordinary place that Minju finds refuge in, everything having a soft hint of gold, warm toned and kissed with those gentle rays of light.</p><p>
  <em>Falling in love.</em>
</p><p>Maybe that's why everyone calls it that.</p><p>Because when you fall, you get hurt.</p><p>Minju hasn't even fallen yet, but the anticipation of it burns like ice.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju unlocks the door of the house, greeted with a dark hall and empty silence. She toes off her shoes and flicks them off of her feet, both of them falling to the carpet with a muffled <em>thud. </em>The sound echoes throughout the place unnaturally, and Minju swallows down the lump in her throat.</p><p>"I'm back!"</p><p>There's no response.</p><p>She sighs to herself, shedding herself of her jacket and tossing it onto the end of the banister. She pads into the kitchen, the cold from the tiles seeping through the thin cloth of her socks into her skin, causing her to wince involuntarily. There's a note on the table, hastily scribbled down with a pen almost out of ink.</p><p>
  <em>Unexpected trip. Gone for about two weeks. Mom will look after you. Love you.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>- dad</em>
</p><p>Minju doesn't bother to resist the urge to snort, tossing the small piece of paper into the recycling. Takes the water bottle on the table into her hold, opening up the fridge to put it back inside and-</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes. Another fucking sticky note, plastered to a bowl of pasta.</p><p>
  <em>Hi Min! Sad news, work called and said that they need me in Europe for the next week or two :( I don't know when I'll be back, but I'll text you to keep you updated! There's extra money under my pillow - have some friends over sometime if you feel like it ;) missing you already darling!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Mom xox</em>
</p><p>Minju gags, placing the water bottle in the inside of the door and shutting the fridge promptly. Not even wanting to give her parents a second thought, she heads upstairs, switching on the light of her bedroom and exhaling slowly.</p><p>If anything, this is a benefit. Now she doesn't have to add more food on top of all that cake she'd eaten.</p><p>The absence of her parents isn't really something that Minju lets bother her that much. Sure, she loves them, and she doesn't doubt that the love is mutual, but she's not as close with them as she's sure others are with their parents. She can survive without them for a couple weeks.</p><p>Even if she is a little bitter about it.</p><p>She looks out the window, seeing that the sun had already started to set. The horizon looked to be on fire, burning white fading into orange. She wonders briefly if Chaewon's as enamoured by sunsets as she is sunrises. Decides that she probably is.</p><p>Because the dawn of a new day is just as refreshing as the closing of an old one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju took up ballet at the age of five, not too long after her mom had taken her to see The Nutcracker on Christmas Eve. She'd been enchanted by the simple yet exquisitely elegant ways in which the men and women had carried themselves across the stage, feet barely touching the ground in a way that made them appear weightless. Their fingers caressed the air as they moved like liquid, classical music accompanying their graceful movements.</p><p>It had been breathtaking.</p><p>So when Minju had joined a ballet school, she expected it to make her feel the sensations that had rushed through her that night in the theatre. And it worked, for a while.</p><p>She had expected to be working on choreography as complex as Clara's the day she walked into the studio, though she came to learn with time that things like that were a long way away. No matter how much she was told that simple <em>tendus </em>and <em>petit jetés </em>were going to help her in the future, Minju remained impatient. Yet, she persisted, the sheer <em>want </em>to feel that surging excitement and wonder course through her veins strong enough to motivate her.</p><p>By the time she'd turned eleven, Minju had learned that ballet was a production of lies.</p><p>Exercises were gruelling and draining, dances left her shoulders heaving with no time to breathe, and the constant demands to keep her back straight, head high, toes pointed, legs elongated, neck stretched, hips even, arms held was fucking <em>exhausting. </em>Ballet was a torturous, demanding monster that masked itself to appear pretty and elegant by keeping your fingertips airy and your lips turned upwards.</p><p>Minju remembers how she'd be drenched in sweat, how her muscles would ache the day after, how her knees would be littered with black and blue. She remembers how her hands would quiver at the barre, the nightmares of <em>battemant tendus </em>and demands to <em>get your leg higher, higher! </em>would run around her mind like a merry go round.</p><p>Back straight, head high, toes pointed, legs elongated, neck stretched, hips even, arms held.</p><p>She remembers being enticed by her first pair of pointe shoes. Those pretty, pale pink satin shoes adorned with ribbon, that could make your legs look even longer than usual. The kind the Sugar Plum Fairy had worn on that night in the theatre, the kind that Minju had promised herself that she'd get to wear one day.</p><p>The kind that'd make her look like she could dance above the ground. Like she was a weightless bird dancing on gusts of wind.</p><p>But Minju had learned the other side of those shoes. She'd seen the older girls massaging their feet with grimaces plastered on their faces, their bruised feet and their contorted toes, their pretty pink satin shoes stained red with their own blood.</p><p>She'd quit ballet before she got the chance to go <em>en pointe, </em>at the age of twelve. She promised herself she'd never be ensnared by something that was simply pretty on the surface ever again.</p><p>Yet, here she is, at 1:48am on a Tuesday morning, wide awake and in Kim Chaewon's sight.</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>you up?</p><p>Ballet was an excruciating, torturous, merciless form of dance that hid behind how elegant it seemed, and Minju promised herself that she'd never fall for something like that ever again.</p><p><b>Me: </b><br/>how did you know?</p><p>But it couldn't hurt just to give this a try, right?</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>guess I just had a feeling</p><p>Cause <em>god, </em>Chaewon is so fucking pretty, just like the atmosphere in the theatre.</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>you must be psychic</p><p>And pretty things are just monsters that put up a real good show of pretending that they're otherwise.</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>you're real cute<br/><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>mind if I call?</p><p>But for all Minju cares, Kim Chaewon could be the most merciless, monstrous, vile, violent person out there.</p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>Ofc not<br/><b>Me:</b><br/>i mean it's late so I probably sound disgusting but</p><p>Because just like so many people.</p><p><b>Chaewon:</b><br/>but anything for me?</p><p>Minju is weak for pretty things.</p><p><b>Me: </b><br/>anything for you<br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, flower,"</p><p>Chaewon's voice is a little gravelly through the speaker of Minju's phone, thick with sleep. Minju smiles to herself in the dark, cross legged on her bed as she picks at a loose thread on her quilt. "Hey," she pauses, smile only growing. "You know, I really like it when you call me that,"</p><p>"What, flower?" Comes Chaewon's reply, sounding slightly amused.</p><p>Minju responds with a hum. "Yeah. The way you say it sounds nice," she feels herself flush. "I mean, the way you say a lot of words sounds nice,"</p><p>Chaewon chuckles, slightly muffled through the receiver. "Well then I'll just have to keep calling you it, <em>flower</em>,"</p><p>Minju's smile morphs into a grin. "Maybe not too much," she advises. "I blush horribly easy,"</p><p>"Those are bonus points both in my eyes and for my eyes,"</p><p>"See, now I'm blushing,"</p><p>"If only I were there to see you," Chaewon sighs dramatically, taking a second's pause before continuing. "How come you're up? It's nearly two a.m, don't you have school tomorrow? Or, today rather,"</p><p>Minju draws her lips together, falling back onto her pillows, stretching out her legs. "I dunno," she shrugs, forgetting that Chaewon can't see her. "Just a lot of thoughts, I guess,"</p><p>"Like what?" Chaewon prompts.</p><p>Minju hesitates. "It's stupid," she responds quietly, looking down at her left hand resting in her lap.</p><p>Chaewon doesn't say anything on the other end of the line for a moment. Minju's about to break the silence before she hears her take in a breath to speak. "Nothing's stupid enough to be disregarded if it's able to keep you up at night," her tone is serious, quiet. "So tell me what's up,"</p><p>Minju blinks at the sudden sincere turn Chaewon takes, yet complies. She takes in a deep breath. "Do you remember when I told you that- that nothing excites me?" Her heart begins to pound in her chest, and she can't figure out as to why.</p><p>Chaewon offers a gentle "mmhmm," as a reply, and Minju takes that as a sign to keep going.</p><p>"When I was younger, when it was only kinda dawning on me that I wasn't really passionate about anything, I... I called it the veil. It was like someone had draped a veil over my life that just... made everything so <em>bland," </em>she runs a hand through her hair, almost to calm herself. "And it, I don't know, just made me less excited about everything," she takes in a shaky breath. "I could only see the world in grey,"</p><p>Chaewon still stays silent, so Minju goes on.</p><p>"But it was so subtle at first that I barely noticed. But now, it's like it's grown, it's gotten thicker and thicker and I can barely see through it. Everything just blurs into grey, and it's- it's drowning me, and it's choking me and <em>shit, </em>I'm so fucking scared that it's gonna end up killing me," she swallows thickly, only realising now that her hands are quivering, trying to stop their shaking by biting at a hangnail. "It's like I'm not living. I'm just kinda going through days doing whatever it throws at me and just... going with it. I've got no active say,"</p><p>Minju worries at her lower lip. "That night I met you. At the party. You lifted that veil,"</p><p>Chaewon's breath hitches.</p><p>"And it was like all these colours came streaming in at once and it just felt so fucking <em>good," </em>Minju smiles softly. "They felt so, I don't know, just amazing. It had been so long since I'd seen colours like those, I'd forgotten what they looked like," she's almost breathless. "I was... warm,"</p><p>Chaewon breathes out, almost like she been holding her breath. "Shit," is all she manages. "Shit, flower. That's not stupid at all, what the fuck,"</p><p>Minju doesn't know how to reply, so all she does is stay silent.</p><p>"You gotta listen to me," Chaewon murmurs down the line. "You gotta take life by the fucking neck, yeah? You gotta beat it and bend it until your knuckles bleed, until its in the shape you want it to be. It'll try and squirm out of your grasp, and it'll hiss and bite and spit like a fucking snake, but you gotta hold it down on the ground and fucking force it to comply with what <em>you </em>want," her voice is harsh through her sleep. "It's a fucking bitch to work with, but it's the only way that's worked for me at least," she rasps. "I think I had a veil of my own, for a while,"</p><p>Minju's eyes widen. Chaewon had one? Chaewon, Kim Chaewon, who had all her shit together, who'd taken her life and beat it and bent it like a blacksmith, had had a veil over her eyes?</p><p>"It wasn't for very long, and from what I gather it wasn't as bad as yours, but it was still pretty shit. It was around a year or so after I started dating for money. There wasn't any rhyme or reason to it, I just felt like shit all of a sudden," Chaewon lets out a small, breathy laugh, startling Minju slightly. "Shit, I need a smoke,"</p><p>Minju blinks, taken aback. "You smoke?" She queries.</p><p>"Not really," comes Chaewon's response. "Only once in a blue moon, like I'm talking a couple a year, any more and my singing voice would be fuck all. They burn my lungs like shit, but the sting is good," Minju can picture a grimace on her face. "Songmin smokes all the time, and they taste fucking vile,"</p><p><em>Songmin. </em>Minju subconsciously stores the name into the back of her mind. <em>That must be the guy who pays her.</em></p><p>"I like lighters though," Chaewon murmurs softly. "The way that something so pretty can burn everything down so easy. I find refuge in things like that,"</p><p>
  <em>And they terrify me to my very fucking core.</em>
</p><p>"What about you?" Minju changes the topic. "How come you're awake?"</p><p>"Oh," Chaewon clears her throat. "I uh, I went back to Songmin's place after we had dinner. He usually keeps me 'til around midnight," her voice is a little tight.</p><p>"But I thought it was just dating," Minju frowns. "Why do you have to go to his place?"</p><p>"Minju," Chaewon breathes down the speaker, sultry. "You're a smart girl, hm? Put two and two together,"</p><p>Oh.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>Shit, she's so fucking naive.</p><p>Minju clears her throat much too loudly, flush hot on her neck as she fumbles with the phone at her ear. "Fuck, sorry," her voice comes out funny sounding. "I- I shouldn't have asked,"</p><p>"Oh no, it's fine," Chaewon sounds much to calm. "I'm... I'm used to it,"</p><p>"Fuck," is all Minju manages, bewilderment evident on her face. "<em>Fuck</em>,"</p><p>Chaewon, honest to god, giggles. "Yes, that's what we do, we've cleared that up by now,</p><p>Minju gapes. "Are you actually laughing right now, oh my <em>god</em>,"</p><p>"It's a coping mechanism," Chaewon explains. "Laughing things off. Like when I was in high school, if I was nervous or put on the spot I'd just wink and shoot finger guns,"</p><p>"That's... really fucking sad, wow,"</p><p>"I know. No wonder I was friends with Yena,"</p><p>Minju tries her best to push the butterflies in her stomach to the side, feeling swarms of them in the base of her throat. "No, but uh..." she swallows down the lump in her throat. "Isn't that, like, kinda illegal?"</p><p>Chaewon hums nonchalantly. "And so is Yena dating Yuri, but oh, the things we do for love," Minju can picture the gleam in her eyes. "Yena loves Yuri, and I really fucking love money,"</p><p>"Brash much?" Minju rubs at her face.</p><p>"I'm just being honest," Chaewon shrugs it off. "Listen, Minju, it's not like I enjoy it, yeah? I just see it as what it is - <em>work. </em>So if I have to, I don't know, fake that I'm into it or whatever to get a little extra payment, then I'm not gonna turn it down," Minju hears her swallow. "He can drop me whenever he likes, remember," her voice turns quiet. "He can let me go without a moments notice and then- and then college is out of the picture. So I'll just sit nice and pretty until I'm finished my course and then I'll- I'll let him go,"</p><p>Her words hang thick and heavy in the air, making Minju hesitate. "Chaewon?"</p><p>"Mmh?"</p><p>"You're really fucking lonely, aren't you?"</p><p>Chaewon's side of the line is silent for a beat too long, and chills run down Minju's spine at the thought of pushing her too far.</p><p>And then, Chaewon finally responds. "Yeah," she doesn't sound hurt, or offended, more like she's acknowledging something that she kind of already knew. "I suppose I am,"</p><p>More silence. Minju can't bear it.</p><p>"I'm sorry if I-"</p><p>"Flower," Chaewon cuts across her, softly spoken. "You did nothing wrong, ok? You asked, I answered, and now we're that small bit closer than before. Don't beat yourself up over something that you think irks me because really, I'm fine,"</p><p>Minju feels her face heat up. "Oh-Ok,"</p><p>"You're blushing right now, aren't you?" Chaewon's tone becomes playful again.</p><p>"No I'm not!" Minju's flush darkens.</p><p>"Fuck that's sweet," Chaewon mutters, almost to herself. "Listen, I promise you I'd love to stay talking, but you've got school in what, five, six hours?"</p><p>Minju groans. "Fuck, don't remind me. I thought you were all for rebelling against our oppressive education system?"</p><p>Chaewon snorts. "What I'm <em>not </em>all for is you being exhausted all day tomorrow. You should get some rest,"</p><p>"Well then you should too," Minju huffs out. "You must be exhausted,"</p><p>Chaewon makes a noise of contemplation. "Well, not really. Songmin has the stamina of a fucking pig, so,"</p><p>Minju chokes on her saliva, coughing and spluttering as Chaewon laughs in her ear. "<em>Fuck, </em>you are <em>vulgar,"</em></p><p>Chaewon coos. "You're real sweet. Ok, now I'm serious, go to sleep,"</p><p>"Alright," Minju doesn't put up much of a fight when her eyelids flutter shut. "But you-" she cuts herself off with a yawn. "You need to sleep too,"</p><p>"I will," Chaewon's voice is lulling; soft and smooth. "Minju?"</p><p>"Mmhmm?"</p><p>"That veil," she murmurs. "Tear it to shreds, flower,"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju remembers at the ripe age of seven, at her ballet's school's annual showcase, looking at the older girls on stage and thinking to herself <em>I'm gonna do that one day.</em></p><p>She remembers being told at the age of eleven that she'd be dancing on stage alone for the first time, the mere mention of it enough to make her face blanch, enough to make her fingertips quiver by her sides.</p><p>She remembers it being five minutes until the curtains were drawn for the second act, and she was knelt in the stall of the bathroom backstage. Her vision was swimming as she gripped at the edge of the toilet bowl, black dots dancing before her eyes as she shivered, feeling cold yet all too hot at once. Her hair was drawn back tightly into a bun, so tight that it felt like her scalp was about to rip off from her skull, rock hard with hair spray. Her pale pink tights were no doubt covered in the grime from the floor, a stench wafting up into her nose, making her gag.</p><p>"Kim Minju! Has anyone seen Kim Minju? <em>God, </em>she's on in two!" Muffled cries yelled exasperated from outside the cubicle. <em>I can't go out there. I'm not gonna.</em></p><p>Her costume was a size too small for her, designed so that her waist was pinched so tight that she could barely breathe. The shoulders were puffed with netting that itched at her neck, turning the flesh an angry red colour.</p><p>She felt like she was gonna throw up.</p><p>"Minju!" Fists pounded loudly on the cubicle door, fast and insistent, making Minju wince. "Who's in there?!"</p><p>She wretched, digging her nails into her stomach through her leotard. She shuddered violently as she vomited, vile taste in her mouth of her partially digested lunch. She spat into the toilet bowl to try and rid her mouth of the wretched taste, a single string of saliva clinging onto her lower lip. It was stained red.</p><p>The banging didn't cease. Neither did the yelling.</p><p>"Stop," Minju groaned softly, barely audible. Sweat dripped off of her forehead into the water, and she spat again. All that came out of her mouth was blood.</p><p>The black spots in front of her eyes grew larger, dancing like a whirlwind of crows as she wretched again, tongue heavy in her mouth. She tried to blink them away but they only clouded her vision, like a dark filter had been placed over her eyes. The banging began to fade, replaced by an insistent ringing, and Minju finally felt her nails puncture the satin torso of her costume, cutting into her skin.</p><p>She wanted to tear out her intestines. Rip out her stomach until her insides could breathe.</p><p>Everything was too tight.</p><p>Her head felt too heavy on top of her shoulders, so she let it loll against her chest, mouth open wide as she gasped in sharpened breaths. She fell from her kneeling position to lean back against the cubicle door, slumped awkwardly as her eyes fluttered shut. Her nails continued to cut into the skin of her stomach to distract from the pain she felt practically everywhere else, the other hand clawing at her chest as a vain attempt to intake more oxygen. She couldn't breathe.</p><p>She- she couldn't breathe.</p><p>No matter how much she gasped and choked on oxygen, she couldn't breathe.</p><p>It didn't take long for her grip on herself to loosen, for her hands to fall limp at her sides. Tears stung at her eyelids, began to run slow tracks down her cheeks. Quiet, pitiful whimpers where all that could escape her lips, and she put up no effort to stop them.</p><p>That was when it dawned on Minju that she well and truly hated ballet.<br/><br/></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You gotta take life by the fucking neck, yeah? You gotta beat it and bend it until your knuckles bleed, until its in the shape you want it to be.</em>
</p><p>Minju sighs to herself as she contemplates Chaewon's words from last night, doodling random shapes onto her school desk. The consistent ticking of the clock on the wall paired with the teacher's monotonous drawl is enough to send her into her thoughts without much of an issue, having decided long ago that <em>yup, I'm definitely failing this class.</em></p><p>"Take life by the neck..." she mumbles to herself, the funny look given to her by her seat mate going unnoticed. Wasn't that a bit violent? Taking it by the neck? Perhaps all life needs is for you to treat it kindly, for you to respect it and do as it asks for it to be good to you.</p><p>Then again, Chaewon had mentioned that forcing life to comply was the only way that had worked for her. So perhaps holding it to the ground by the throat was the only way to tame it.</p><p>Minju thinks that she tried to do that, all those years ago when she quit ballet. It had felt undeniably liberating, yes, like she'd been freed from cuffs that had been digging into her wrists, but it had left her... lost.</p><p>A sense of <em>what do I do now? </em>has been with her ever since she'd thrown away her cardboard-soled shoes. She'd put so much faith in trying out something new when she was younger, and having it turn out so sour was almost scarring. She didn't want to try and take up anything else out of fear that it would chew her up and spit her back out again.</p><p>It left her... bored.</p><p>Minju's bored.</p><p>And she can't do anything about it.</p><p>"Kim Minju!"</p><p>A shrill shriek cuts through her thoughts, and Minju really, <em>really </em>tries her best not to slap herself in the face with her textbook.</p><p>"Care to explain why your eyes aren't on the board?" The teacher prods, and Minju saves herself from looking at her shrivelled face by keeping her eyes trained on her lap. She doesn't respond.</p><p>She hears the loud <em>click clack </em>of the teacher's high heeled shoes getting louder as she walks towards her, stopping short of Minju's desk. "Look at me when I'm talking to you," she snarls, voice dangerously quiet.</p><p>Unwillingly, Minju raises her chin to look at her, and oh how she'd adore to stare her down.</p><p>But the veil over her eyes blurs her vision into a grey haze, and she can't quite make out where they sit on her face.</p><p>
  <em>That veil. Tear it to shreds, flower.</em>
</p><p>But she can't.</p><p>Maybe the veil isn't really there, and maybe it's just a made up excuse, but it doesn't distract from the fact that Minju doesn't have the guts to stare the old hag in the eyes.</p><p>"That's the second time in two days you haven't been paying attention to my lesson," Her lips twitch like a cat's. "One more time and I won't be as lenient,"</p><p>Minju glares at her when she turns her back to return to the whiteboard, missing the worried glance that Yuri sends in her direction.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They're in biology when Yuri whispers to Minju from where she's sat next to her at the back of the classroom, eyeing the teacher so that they don't get caught. "Min, are you ok?"</p><p>Minju lifts her head, looking away from her notepad and raising her eyebrow. "Yeah? What's up?"</p><p>Yuri shrugs, twiddling he pencil from between her fingertips. "I don't know, you just seemed a little out of it in maths earlier," she whispers.</p><p>Minju sighs softly, letting her head come to a rest on her desk. "I'm just a little sleepy, is all,"</p><p>Yuri mimics her position, eyebrows knotted together with concern. "How come?" She hisses.</p><p>Minju bites her lip to try and prevent a smile. "I was on the phone with Chaewon last night," she whispers.</p><p>The way Yuri's eyes widen is comical, mouth agape. "Shut up," she grins. "Spill this tea,"</p><p>"She called me sweet,"</p><p>"This tea tastes <em>delicious,"</em></p><p>"And she told me to sleep because she didn't want me to be tired today,"</p><p>"That's so cute," Yuri threads a hand through her hair, resting her head on her hand. "What did you talk about?"</p><p>Minju hesitates. She can't let Yuri know. Something tells her that Chaewon is putting trust in her with something this- this private. Something not even Yena knew about when they were in high school together, and Chaewon's been going out with guys since he was <em>fifteen.</em></p><p>"I don't know, everything just kinda blurs together," she lies, smiling softly to convince Yuri she's telling the truth. "I just, <em>gosh, </em>I really like her, Yuri,"</p><p>Yuri opens her mouth to respond, yet not before a loud voice cuts through the silence. "Jo Yuri, as positively <em>invigorating </em>as this piece of gossip Ms. Kim is telling you seems to be, I think it can wait five more minutes until the bell rings, don't you?" Their teacher speaks with a playful gleam in his eye from the top of the classroom, a couple students giggling.</p><p>Both Yuri and Minju flush, smiling with embarrassment as they push their noses back into their textbooks.</p><p>
  <em>You gotta take life by the fucking neck. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju really hadn't intended to end up in Chaewon's bed on Friday night.</p><p>She's leaving the gym in the local college with a towel around her neck, headed in the direction of the locker rooms thinking <em>fuck, I'm out of shape. </em>She's sweaty, red faced, and no doubt looking a state, yet low and behold-</p><p>"Flower?"</p><p>Minju feels herself freeze over, turning around to see none other than Chaewon gazing at her with wide eyes.</p><p>"What are you doing here?"</p><p>Minju swallows. "I, uh, I was just at the gym. What are <em>you </em>doing here?"</p><p>Chaewon blinks at her. "Minju, I go here. I literally just came from a lecture,"</p><p>Minju flushes, because <em>duh, </em>why else would Chaewon be at a fucking college?"</p><p>"You were at the gym?" Chaewon inquires, Minju nodding her head slowly in response. "Fuck," she breathes. "That is the hottest thing, holy shit,"</p><p>No, Minju does <em>not </em>choke at that, obviously. Shut the fuck up.</p><p>"You got a ride home?"</p><p>Minju scratches her ear, looking down at the floor, her face hot. It takes her a moment to compose herself. "I- I was just gonna get the bus. Or something," she shrugs.</p><p>Chaewon tuts. "You'll do no such thing,"</p><p>Minju blinks up at her. "Wha-"</p><p>"Quickly!" Chaewon pushes her in the direction of the changing rooms. "My parking permit only lasts so long, you're coming back to my place so hurry up,"</p><p>"Wait what-"</p><p>"Just go, flower!"</p><p>And, well, now Minju finds herself on the doorstep of Chaewon's dorm, heart in her mouth as she fidgets nervously.</p><p>Chaewon unlocks the door, toeing off her shoes as she steps inside. "You can just leave your shoes here," she tells Minju, flicking her shoe off of her foot. "I'm really not that picky,"</p><p>Minju does as she recommends, unlacing her shoes and taking them off. By this time, Chaewon's already taken off her jacket, hanging it up on the coat peg by the door.</p><p>The room is around the size that Minju would've expected of a college dorm, bleached walls and a decently sized window on the back wall to allow the light to filter in through. Chaewon's bed is nestled into the corner, photos plastered above the headboard. A guitar case rests by a desk piled with books and stationary, the odd empty crisp packet strewn around. A miniature TV is on a display chest opposite the bed, which is stuffed full of an array of varying albums.</p><p>Chaewon calls out suddenly, taking Minju by surprise. "Doll!"</p><p>Minju flinches, shooting Chaewon a look of surprise. Chaewon only grins at her, placing a finger by her lips. "Doll, I'm back!"</p><p><em>Who the hell is she talking to? </em>Minju wonders to herself, before a sick sense of dread slithers down her spine. Songmin wouldn't be here, would he?</p><p>Chaewon gasps childishly, grin on her face, so Minju follows her line of sight and looks to the end of Chaewon's bed. A small puff of white appears from around the bedpost, tentative. It's a kitten, no bigger than Minju's head, pure white fur resembling a cloud.</p><p>"There you are," Chaewon coos, her voice an octave higher than usual, the kitten tumbling towards her on its small, pale pink paws. She gathers the kitten into her arms, nuzzling her nose into it's fur. "Hiya baby," she places a chaste kiss on the kitten's fur, and Minju feels a smile break through on her face. The kitten mewls in a way that Minju interprets as contentment, small eyes pinched together as it purrs.</p><p>Chaewon scratches behind its ears. "This is Yuki," she introduces. "I'm technically not allowed to keep her here, but she's always nice and quiet for me," she runs her fingers through Yuki's fur. "She was a stray, poor thing. She was found on the curb with her tail as nothing but a stub," Chaewon tilts her head in the direction of the kitten's tail, which is unnaturally short. "I took her in from the shelter around six months ago, and she's been doing a whole lot better since,"</p><p>Minju holds out a hand above the kitten's head, raising an eyebrow at Chaewon for permission. Chaewon nods, and Minju scratches behind Yuki's ears, allowing herself to smile as the kitten mewls.</p><p>"Isn't Yuki Japanese?" She queries, and Chaewon's lips quirk at the corners.</p><p>"It means snow," she translates, her buttercream tone back as she gazes at the kitten in her arms. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" She nuzzles her nose into her fur again.</p><p>Minju hums, retracting her hand. "Why Yuki?" She asks.</p><p>Chaewon stiffens, pulling her nose away from Yuki as if she'd been burned. She stays quiet for a beat too long, and she gives Minju a smile that isn't quite natural. "Why don't you go sit on the bed, hm? I'll get a snack or something,"</p><p>Minju immediately picks up on the fact that something's wrong, so she grasps Chaewon's elbow just as she turns away, making her look at her. "What's wrong?" She asks gently, not wanting to alarm her.</p><p>Yuki meows softly from where she's nuzzling against Chaewon's calf, pulling a smile from her. She looks back at Minju, and her smile turns that small bit more melancholy. "Sit down, flower," her tone is so, so light, and Minju feels like she's been pumped full of helium.</p><p>So she gingerly lets Chaewon's arm go, maintaining eye contact until the other girl turns away. Pressing her lips together, Minju watches her before walking over to the bed, sitting down on the mattress. She plays with her fingers as she watches Chaewon leaf through a cupboard near the back wall, wordlessly pulling out a packet of sweets. "Catch," is all she mumbles before she throws them over her shoulder, Minju just managing to catch them between her fingertips.</p><p>Chaewon walks back over, not before scooping Yuki back into her arms, sitting down on the bed next to Minju. They're both silent, for a while, and Minju can't decipher if it's uncomfortable or not. Chaewon runs the back of her forefinger over the kitten's back, Yuki screwing her eyes shut in a pleased matter.</p><p>"I went to Japan, when I was seventeen," Chaewon speaks after a while, not meeting Minju's eyes. Her voice shakes, and Minju wouldn't have noticed if she didn't pay so much attention to her all the time. "With Songmin. I told my parents I was going with my friends, but I don't think it really mattered to them that much." She places a chaste kiss onto the top of Yuki's head. "We were there for about a month, I think. It was December, and it was like the entire country was doused in white," she inhales shakily. "And on one of the nights, Songmin took me to a brothel,"</p><p>Minju's eyes widen inside her head, and she <em>wishes </em>she'd heard Chaewon incorrectly. But the word <em>brothel </em>had fallen loud and clear from her lips, running around inside of Minju's head. Minju wants to interrogate her, wanted to ask her <em>why, </em>but Chaewon looks so- so fragile. So fragile and delicate and small that she lets her go on.</p><p>"We didn't- like, we didn't do anything there. He was just there to meet up with an old friend. Turned out that his friend had the same tastes Songmin does," she sets Yuki down on the floor, watching as the kitten pads towards her water bowl. "He had a girl by his side, and she- she had it a little worse than me," Chaewon draws her legs into her chest, resting her chin on her knees. "She worked in the brothel. She was fifteen,"</p><p>She looks up at the ceiling, small smile on her face. "She was even more spoiled than I was. Shit, if you think the stuff I had was expensive, then fuck. I looked like a dollar store next to her," the smile slowly melts off of her face. "Her name was Hitomi. She was the most miserable girl I'd ever met," she picks at the thread of her quilt. "She was one of those real cute girls, you know? All round, red cheeks and a voice like honey. Fuck, flower, the amount of money I saw bidding for her was- was terrifying. Like I'd always knew what I did was bad but this... this made it seem so much more real,"</p><p>Minju subtly takes her hand, sliding their palms together and interlocking their fingers. It pulls a small smile out of Chaewon, and she visibly relaxes.</p><p>"We got along, Hitomi and I. I mean, Japan was kinda overwhelming, and with only Songmin for company I was pretty bored. Despite the language barrier, I felt, I don't know, connected to her? Like we'd both gone through the same shit. She- she was broken, but she was fun," Chaewon swallows thickly. "She was so broken, flower, you could see it in her eyes. They were lifeless, like she was a ghost. I think being around me made her... more human,"</p><p>"She hated that brothel more than anything. She said it had taken everything from her, said she wanted nothing more than to watch it burn," she holds onto Minju's hand that bit tighter. "When Songmin and I came back home she- she ran away,"</p><p>Minju speaks gently, trying not to disturb her as she brings their laced hands onto her lap. "And where's Hitomi now?"</p><p>Chaewon scoffs, looking at Yuki from across the room. "What's left of her is rotting six feet under,"</p><p>Minju's mouth runs dry.</p><p>Chaewon's voice is hoarse when she speaks. "The guy who- who <em>owned </em>her was a member of a group of human traffickers in Japan. Hitomi didn't get far after she ran, she never would've. The last I saw of her was her dismembered corpse for sale on the web,"</p><p>They're plunged into silence for a while, Minju taking the time to drink everything in. This- this doesn't feel real. She squeezes Chaewon's hand. "I'm sorr-"</p><p>Chaewon squeezes her hand in return. "Don't," she whispers, finally looking Minju in the eyes. They're- they're full of regret. "It's not your fault so- don't," she looks at Yuki, oblivious to it all. "When I first met Hitomi, it was snowing outside." She whispers. "Yuki was lost and alone on the streets, just like Hitomi was and- and I don't know, I just wanted something to remember her by,"</p><p>Chaewon rests her head on Minju's shoulder. "I'm sorry for making you so quiet," her words are barely there, light and airy. "I just wanted to tell you,"</p><p>"That's ok. Thank you... thank you for telling me,"</p><p>"We're that bit closer now, right?" Chaewon asks carelessly, however there's a hint of doubt evident in the way she speaks.</p><p>Minju smiles lazily, letting her eyes flutter shut. "Yeah," she murmurs, resting her head on top of Chaewon's. "We're always growing that bit closer," </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Given, it takes both Minju and Chaewon time to recover from Chaewon's story of Japan, but the elder, as always, shatters the ice.</p><p>"C'mon," she stands up from the bed, still holding onto Minju's hand. "I didn't invite you over for us to be glum all evening. Let's take you up onto the roof, hm?"</p><p>At first, Minju thinks she's joking. But when Chaewon leads her out to a small balcony, there's a narrow, winding staircase that leads to the top of the building.</p><p>"You're fucking with me," Minju gawks, staring up at the steps. "You can actually do that?"</p><p>"Uh huh!" Chaewon grins, giving her hand a tug. "It's got the best view of the city. It looks even more beautiful at night,"</p><p>They begin to ascend, the cold night air nipping at Minju's flesh, though Chaewon's hand in her hold keeps her palm toasty warm. She feels a redness to her cheeks once Chaewon lightly starts to graze her thumb over her knuckles, a barely there action that has Minju tongue tied.</p><p>Looking down from the top of the building makes Minju painfully aware of just how high they are. The girls' dorms look like normal apartments from a distance, high rise and slender with a view that puts the one from last week's party to shame.</p><p>Chaewon gives her hand another light tug, taking her in the direction of the rooftop's edge. "Don't fall," she murmurs in Minju's ear as they sit down. "Cuz then it'd look like I murdered you, and I'm too pretty for prison flower,"</p><p>Minju snorts, taking her place next to her. They let their legs dangle over the edge, concrete cool against the backs of Minju's thighs, and she notices that Chaewon still hasn't let go of her hand. That she still hasn't stopped running her thumb over her knuckles in an almost soothing sense.</p><p>"I've got major trust issues, you know," Chaewon speaks up all of a sudden, looking straight ahead of her. "I don't really know why, probably because of people being so quick to leave," she leans back on her palms, small smile on her face. "People don't usually stick around," she looks at Minju. "Yet you did. So, I dunno, thank you for that,"</p><p>Minju breaks her gaze, cheeks flushed as she bumps her shoulder against Chaewon's gently. "What's with you being deep all of a sudden?"</p><p>Chaewon shrugs, grinning, the light wind tousling her hair. "Dunno," she admits, grin lighting up her face. "They always do that in dramas, you know? It's like really quiet and then all of a sudden one of them just decides to spill their entire backstory,"</p><p>Minju feels herself smiling along with her. "And are you gonna?"</p><p>Chaewon scrunches up her nose. "Fuck no. My backstory is just doritos, homosexuality, and a way-too-early emo phase,"</p><p>Minju gasps in mock horror. "Shut up. You did not have an emo phase,"</p><p>Chaewon nods grimly. "I was like, eleven. I had a fringe that literally cut my fucking face in half,"</p><p>"I don't know what to do with this information,"</p><p>"My eyeliner game was fucking bomb though. Like I really thought I was that shit; I wasn't afraid of a single thing,"</p><p>Minju raises an eyebrow. "And what about now?"</p><p>Chaewon scoffs. "Who the hell do you take me for? I have no fears,"</p><p>Minju rests her other hand on her shoulder. "Well let me say one word," she drags her hand across the sky dramatically. "Heterosexuality,"</p><p>Chaewon blinks. "I have one fear," she whispers, and Minju laughs - like a full on belly laugh that has her clutching at her stomach.</p><p>Chaewon takes Minju's hand into both of her own. "Was that your subtle way of asking me if I'm straight?" She asks between giggles.</p><p>Minju pushes her lightly. "Well it obviously didn't do a very good job, did it? I still haven't gotten an answer,"</p><p>Chaewon leans in that small bit closer. "And would you like one?"</p><p>Minju pinched her tongue in between her teeth. "I wouldn't mind one,"</p><p>"I'm straight,"</p><p>Minju feels her eyes involuntarily widen, her heart palpitating wildly on her tongue. And then, Chaewon bursts into laughter, clinging onto Minju's hand tight as she brings it to her chest.</p><p>"Oh fuck!" She manages between her laughs, and Minju isn't quite too sure what to make of it. "Oh <em>shit </em>flower, your <em>face! </em>Fuck, don't look so worried, I was just kidding," she dabs unceremoniously at her eyes, wiping at tears that aren't there.</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes at her. "Very funny," she mutters, unable to gush at the way Chaewon clings to her hand through her laughter.</p><p>"Sorry, I couldn't resist," Chaewon brings Minju's hand onto her lap. "Don't worry, flower, I'm gayer than- I don't know, what's something super gay?"</p><p>Minju frowns up at the sky, pretending to think. "Oikawa Tooru?"</p><p>Chaewon throws her hands into the air. "A gay icon who doesn't even know he is one, bless. Just say you're whipped for Iwaizumi and <em>go,"</em></p><p>"Iwa-chan is the new Mei,"</p><p>Chaewon stares at her. "Was that a fucking <em>Citrus </em>reference,"</p><p>"May or may not have watched the entire show in a day,"</p><p>"I think you mean <em>Mei </em>or <em>Mei </em>not have,"</p><p>"I'm serious, after watching that fucking show, all that was going through my head was just <em>Mei Mei Mei Mei</em>,"</p><p>Chaewon scrunches up her nose. "I watched it to take the piss, but then it was so shit that I was actually enjoying it. Like that's how low my standards are," she pauses, running a hand through her hair. "I should've brought a drink out here with me,"</p><p>Minju huddles in closer to her, for a reason she convinces herself is for warmth. "I'm starting to think you're an alcoholic,"</p><p>Chaewon chuckles. "No but like, I lowkey am. I love sherry more than myself," she examines Minju's hand in her lap, playing with her fingers and tracing the veins on the back of her hand. "You've got pretty hands," she says it like a passing thought, something just blurted as soon as it came to mind.</p><p>Minju tries to keep a straight face. "That was only mildly sexual," she deadpans.</p><p>Chaewon digs her elbow into her ribs. "Shut up, I'm in the moment," she takes ahold of Minju's other hand, a childlike wonder in her eyes. "They're... delicate," she murmurs. "Like if I dropped them they'd just shatter," she gently runs her fingertip over the joints of Minju's own finger, in a way that's so <em>soft </em>that Minju feels her breath catch in her throat. "I don't know," Chaewon breaths. "They're just pretty. All of you is pretty,"</p><p>Minju wants to crack a joke, wants to break out of this suffocating atmosphere, but she <em>can't. </em>She lets Chaewon run her fingertips over her palm with feather light touches as her breathing quickens, sharp, making her chest feel like it's about to burst.</p><p>They sit in silence for a while, Chaewon tracing Minju's palm, Minju's head finding Chaewon's shoulder after a while. The sounds of rumbling engines and car horns and roadworks eventually fade into white noise, the steady rhythm of Chaewon's breathing enough to lull Minju to sleep.</p><p>The sky is dark, for the most part, save for a few sparse dwindling stars that seem to be losing hope. Street lamps illuminate the ground below by casting harsh orange light, giving off the impression that the earth's ablaze. That the world is burning.</p><p>There's a harsh blue streak that seems to cut through the sky, and Minju squints at it. It's late at night, and she must be delirious, yet she smiles to herself all the same. "There's a rip in the sky," she mumbles sleepily.</p><p>Chaewon looks down at her from where Minju's head is still on her shoulder, small frown adorning her facial features. "What?"</p><p>Minju rubs at her eyes before pointing in the general direction of the streak of neon blue. "There. There's a rip in the sky,"</p><p>Minju misses the fond smile that graces Chaewon's lips as the older girl rests her head on top of hers. "Flower, those are just lights on a crane,"</p><p>Minju giggles drowsily. "Shit, really?"</p><p>Chaewon hums, and Minju can hear the smile in her voice. "Though now that you mention it, it does kinda look like there's a rip in the sky, doesn't it?"</p><p>"That could be a metaphor, you know,"</p><p>"What could?"</p><p>"The rips in the sky that make us think there's something, like, beyond what we know are just... artificial. Like everything good on the surface is just manufactured to seem better that it is,"</p><p>"I think your metaphors need some work,"</p><p>Minju scoffs. "My metaphors are fucking wonderful, thanks," she subconsciously nestles herself closer into Chaewon's side, nosing at her neck. She's warm.</p><p>"You're so fucking cute when you're sleepy, shit,"</p><p>"Thought you said I was cute all the time," Minju yawns. Chaewon's hair smells like lime and vanilla, she notices. It's a smell she's come to associate with her, but was never able to recognise.</p><p>"Ok, bad choice of words. You're even cuter than usual when you're sleepy,"</p><p>"I'm going to ignore the amount of sarcasm in your tone and say thank you,"</p><p>Minju feels Chaewon smiling against her hairline. "Ok, you're looking seriously sleepy. You wanna head back inside?"</p><p>Minju hums in agreement. "Workouts make me drowsy, that's why,"</p><p>Chaewon groans as she stands up, helping Minju to her feet. "Stop mentioning you at the gym, my imagination is too good for that,"</p><p>Minju lets Chaewon support her weight by throwing an ark over her shoulder. "Me doused in sweat isn't as hot as you might think,"</p><p>"You doused in sweat is something I'm going to fantasise about and you're not going to stop me,"</p><p>"Do I have a choice?"</p><p>"Of course you don't,"</p><p>"Disappointed, but not surprised,"</p><p>"Minju?"</p><p>"Mmh,"</p><p>"You realise I've only got one bed, don't you?"</p><p>Minju feels her mouth run dry as they step back inside Chaewon's dorm, suddenly <em>very </em>awake. "I- sorry, what?"</p><p>Chaewon grins at her. "I'll have to warn you, I'm a big cuddler,"</p><p><em>This. </em>Minju thinks to herself. <em>This is where I die. I'm actually going to perish tonight, so long, it's been real.</em></p><p>Chaewon opens her wardrobe, taking out an old teeshirt and sweats, tossing them to Minju who barely catches them in time. There's a daring glint in her eye, and Minju already knows before she speaks that her words are going to be drenched in molten chocolate.</p><p>"Maybe if you're good I'll let you be the big spoon, hm?"</p><p>Minju wonders if it's too late to start digging her grave yet because <em>fuck </em>she's in for it tonight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Get him off of me,"</p><p><em>The Dance of The Sugarplum Fairy swirls spirals in Minju's mind, soft tinkling of bells and the low hum of the clarinet familiar to her like walking. It's a pretty piece of music with breathtaking choreography, but her ankles and feet ache with fatigue, breathing laboured and arms feeling like bags of wet sand have been tied to them. Her eyelids are heavy and her mouth has run dry. Everything </em>hurts, <em>having lost track of how long she'd been dancing for hours ago.</em></p><p>"Fuh-Fucking get him off of me,"</p><p>
  <em>Shrieks and yells at her to "keep your turnout!" and  "shoulders down, don't make me say it again!" run around inside her head as she tries to keep in mind everything she's supposed to keep in check: how her facial expressions look, if her back is straight, if her legs are stretched, if her head is in the right position. There's so many things to focus on that Minju feels her brain burn with the amount of concentration, all while trying to play it off that this is easy. That it's effortless.</em>
</p><p>"Please, just- get him off,"</p><p>
  <em>Her head throbs, feeling as if the veins in her temples are going to burst. The music is a sickening mantra that's so hauntingly beautiful that it makes her sick to the stomach, just like everything else about this entire scenario. This piece once reminded her of magic, of the wonders it brought her as a child. Now it only makes her sick to the gut.</em>
</p><p>"Stop... stop fuckin' touching me,"</p><p>
  <em>Minju feels dizzy, sees the floor of the pristine studio begin to tilt and shift. All too suddenly, the spring boarded wooden planks are flying up to meet her face - or rather, she's falling down to meet them. She lays on the ground in a crumpled mess, chest heaving unnaturally as she struggles to breathe, each intake of oxygen burning her trachea. The music has stopped.</em>
</p><p>"Puh-please,"</p><p>
  <em>"If you'd been pulled up, you wouldn't have fallen!" The choreographer shrills, crimson red across the dance studio. "Again!" He demands, that's all he's been demanding this afternoon. Again and again and again and again, the same piece again until it's perfected.</em>
</p><p>"Just stop,"</p><p>
  <em>Minju places her palms on the ground and attempts to push herself off of the ground, but a sharp pain wracks through her spine, making her hiss. She can't get up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or maybe she just doesn't want to.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The footsteps of the choreographer are crisp and sharp in the vast studio, all polished mirrors with a sprung floor and a sleek black barre. He bends down to look at her, lips pursed and dirty blond hair styled to a tee. He's from London, Minju recalls. Her instructor had called it an honour, an honour to have someone come in from such a prestigious company - the Royal Ballet, was it? It's less of an honour and more like smarting agony, but take your pick.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The choreographer takes a hold of Minju's chin between his thumb and forefinger, analysing her closely. "You don't want to be here, do you?" He accuses, though it isn't harsh. More like he's stating a fact they're both already aware of.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Minju feels her muscles tense, looking away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Your face is bright when you dance, darling, but your eyes tell me otherwise. They tell me you're hating every second of this,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Minju hates that he can read her. Hates that he's right, because this is supposed to be her dream, isn't it? She's fantasised about dancing to this music ever since she went to the theatre on that night, so why has everything changed?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The choreographer stands up. "Such a shame," he deadpans, tone monotonous. "Young girls like you have so much potential," he turns, facing the large windows that pan from the floor to the ceiling. He walks over to them, heaving a sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Leave," he tells Minju. "This is a waste of my time,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Minju runs, and she runs away from the dance studio until the street tears holes into her ballet shoes, until she collapses on the street corner and cries.</em>
</p><p>"Get him off of me!"</p><p>Minju jolts awake, siting bolt upright as sweat gathers on her forehead, breathing sharp. The music of The Sugarplum Fairy is audible in her ears, seeming to come from all around her.</p><p>But- but <em>Chaewon</em>.</p><p>She's writhing and yelling in her sleep, eyes screwed shut as she tosses and turns. "Guh-get away from me! Stop touching me!"</p><p>It takes Minju a moment to comprehend what's happening, mind slow with sleep, but it soon becomes clear to her that something is <em>very </em>wrong.</p><p>Chaewon mumbles incoherently under her breath, clawing at her sheets as she begins to break a sweat. Her inhales and exhales are much too quick, face screwed up in what looks like pain.</p><p>Minju reaches out quickly, shaking her shoulder with urgency. "Chaewon! Chaewon, fuck, wake up!" Her voice rises in volume quickly.</p><p>"Stop touching me!" Chaewon screams, eyes flying open. She sits up sharply, shoving Minju's hand off of her shoulder like it had burned her. "Stop fucking touching me!"</p><p>Minju swallows thickly, watching as Chaewon's eyes dart around the room erratically. She raises her palms. "Not gonna touch you," she tries to keep her voice soft. "Not gonna- not gonna lay a finger on you,"</p><p>Chaewon stays silent for a moment, and Minju can make out the rise and the fall of her shoulders in the darkness as she pants, out of breath. She stays tense and spiked with adrenaline for a few moments longer, before she slumps against the headboard. Her face melts like dripping candle wax, head resting against her own shoulder. "Flower?"</p><p>"Yeah, its me," Minju tentatively reaches out, but immediately draws her hand back when she sees Chaewon shy away from her touch. "Are- are you okay?"</p><p><em>Fucking idiot. </em>Minju curses herself. <em>Of course she's not fucking okay.</em></p><p>Chaewon begins to quiver, hugging her own waist with wide eyes. She doesn't respond to Minju's question, a mere repeated "Flower?" being all that leaves her lips.</p><p>Minju worries at her lower lip. "Yeah," she croaks. "Flower,"</p><p>"Flower," Chaewon breathes, and Minju interprets it as relief. Chaewon reaches out a trembling hand gingerly, and Minju gets the message. She shuffles closer, letting her cheek rest in Chaewon's palm. The girl looks at her with almost awe in her eyes, thumb stroking Minju's cheekbone as a barely there graze.</p><p>"Fuck, <em>flower</em>," is all Chaewon says before she's drawing Minju in close, holding onto her tight. Her grip is like iron, one hand cupping her cheek while the other presses against her back, running her fingers over her like she's afraid she's not there. Minju responds by stroking her hair, whispering inaudibly into her ear to try and calm her down. Everything seems to be amplified in the darkness, each tiny movement causing the sheets to rustle ear deafeningly loud. Minju ignores the feeling of eyelashes fluttering furiously on her neck, ignores the dampness on her skin in favour of continuing to run her hands through Chaewon's hair.</p><p>Sobs are attempted to be covered up, but they're painstakingly obvious in the silence. Minju just cradles Chaewon's head closer to her chest, and Chaewon grips onto her shirt like it's a lifeline.</p><p>Minju tucks a strand of Chaewon's hair behind her ear, once she notices that her breathing has returned to her normal pace, and she isn't sniffling quite as much. "You wanna tell me what's up?" She whispers, soft and gentle as to not trigger anything.</p><p>But Chaewon shakes her head insistently, breathing in shakily by Minju's neck. "'m fine," she murmurs hoarsely. "Was- was nothin',"</p><p>They both know that her lies are blatant and obvious, but judging by her fragile state, Minju comes to the easy conclusion that it's best not to push. She twirls a strand of strawberry blonde around her finger, speaking into Chaewon's hair. "You wanna head back to sleep?"</p><p>Chaewon mumbles something that Minju doesn't hear.</p><p>"Sorry, what was that?"</p><p>"Hold me," Chaewon mutters, and Minju feels her eyes close. "And don't fall asleep before I do,"</p><p>Minju smiles to herself in the dark, feeling herself grow warm inside before laying Chaewon down, the other girl limp and pliant to her every touch. She follows suit, facing Chaewon's back, her head resting comfortably against the pillows.</p><p>Chaewon reaches out behind her, feeling blindly before her fingers close around Minju's hand. She moves it forward so that their interlocking fingers rest on the mattress in front of Chaewon's torso, Minju's arm resting on her ribcage.</p><p>"Don't let me go," Chaewon mumbles drowsily. "Please never let me go,"</p><p>The light music of The Sugar Plum Fairy returns, soft tinkling sounds haunting in her ears.</p><p>Minju feels her muscles tense, and she holds onto Chaewon that little bit tighter.</p><p>She hears Chaewon murmuring the word "flower" just before she falls asleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju wakes up for the second time that morning with the sunlight pouring in through the gap in the curtains, silence soft in the room and she herself swaddled in a duvet up to her cheeks. She's cozy.</p><p>She blinks the sleep out of her eyes as her surroundings come into focus. Chaewon is laid in front of her with her back to Minju, her shoulder rising and falling gently with each intake of breath. Her hair is splayed out on the pillow like a rosy halo surrounding her head, though that's something that Minju only recognises subconsciously. What she really notices is what's on Chaewon's neck.</p><p>There, at the very top of her spine, is a small, black tattoo of a butterfly.</p><p>It's nothing particularly large or extravagant, around the size of Minju's own thumbnail. There's a simplicity to it that she likes, it's fine black lines sharp yet elegant. It looks to be mid flight, or perhaps it's just begun. Either way, it's beautiful.</p><p>Without even realising it, Minju's got her fingertips grazing the butterfly in slight awe. Chaewon hums at her touch, groggy and thick with sleep. She sounds like she's smiling. "You've found my butterfly, hm?" Her voice is a little hoarse.</p><p>"It's... so pretty," Minju whispers, tracing the wing. "Why a butterfly?"</p><p>Chaewon hums again, something that Minju supposes she's supposed to interpret as laughter. "I find comfort in small, delicate things that can hide how dangerous they are," Chaewon rattles off like she's explained it a million times before. "A butterfly flapping it's wings today can lead to a devastating hurricane tomorrow,"</p><p>"Why?" Minju inquires, still admiring the design. "Why do you find comfort in it, I mean,"</p><p>Chaewon seems to ponder this. She turns over so that she faces Minju and- <em>god. </em>She's even more breathtaking at sunrise. Her skin glows with a pearlescent sheen, the streaming sunlight casting warm tones of gold onto her face. There's creases on her cheeks from the fabric of the pillow, and her eyes are still only half open. "I suppose I wish it could apply to me," she speaks under her breath, reaching out and running her fingers through Minju's hair. "I'm only a small thing, flower. I want to be dangerous,"</p><p>Minju swallows. "You are. You are dangerous,"</p><p>"How so?" Chaewon tilts her head.</p><p>   Minju looks down, putting a hand beneath the pillow. "You're dangerous because of the power you have. The way you've got me so- so attached to you in such a short space of time is terrifying," she replies confidently. "The way you've taken control of your own life and manipulated it so that it abides by what you want is no less than dangerous,"</p><p>Chaewon smiles at her softly. "Take it by the neck," she quotes herself. "You remembered,"</p><p>Minju nods. "I thought a lot about that. What you said," she looks Chaewon in the eyes, sees them glimmering with- with something. "How do you do it?"</p><p>Chaewon's smile just stays soft and warm in between her cheeks, and she laces a hand with Minju's. "You pretend," she whispers. "You tell yourself that you're terrifying and you make yourself believe it. No one's going to believe it if you don't believe yourself first," her gaze becomes less gentle, something more melancholic. "Don't squeeze too hard though. Having life by the neck and choking it is- is invigorating. Addictive,"</p><p>"You enjoy having life on the brink of death?"</p><p>Chaewon's eyes turn hazy. "Flower, I fucking thrive in it,"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They both ignore the blatant issue of last night's happenings, and Minju isn't really too sure how she feels about it.</p><p>They head out for breakfast (because "I really can't cook for shit, flower," "You don't need to be a cook to make fucking <em>cereal</em>," "tell that to my younger self and see how far it gets you. Milk stains like a bitch,"), in some high end place that has prices that nearly make Minju faint.</p><p>"Chaewon!" She hisses as they sit down, eyes darting around nervously. She's still wearing the same clothes she wore when she first came across Chaewon last night, those clothes being none other than her <em>gym clothes, </em>as in sweats that cost her no more than an hour's pay and a singlet worth even less than that. And here Chaewon is, sat across from her in her Chanel jacket and <em>no fucking way is that dress Louis Vuitton. </em>"Are you kidding me?"</p><p>Chaewon, that fucking bitch, plays dumb, tapping her fingernails against her cheek as she tries to suppress a smile. "What on earth are you on about?"</p><p>Minju scoffs, pointing towards the cutlery on the table. "See this?"</p><p>"Mmh,"</p><p>"This fork probably costs more than my entire life!"</p><p>"That's a spoon, flower,"</p><p>"You're missing my point!"</p><p>Chaewon dismisses her with a wave of her hand. "Don't get so flustered. I'll pay,"</p><p>"No you won't!"</p><p>Chaewon raises a brow. "But you just said you couldn't,"</p><p>Minju opens her mouth for a counter reply, but nothing comes out. She leans back in her chair, drawing her lips together and folding her arms. "That's cuz I just thought we were gonna get a smoothie or something," she mumbles. She's pretty sure that Chaewon heard her, but the other girl doesn't make a remark.</p><p>"So," she starts, eyes gleaming, and Minju hates that a small grin of her own is slowly creeping onto her own face. "Talk to me. We need to have an actual conversation going here,"</p><p>"Talk to you?"</p><p>"About anything,"</p><p>"I'm pretty sure we talked about everything under the goddamn sun yesterday,"</p><p>Chaewon chuckles, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as her eyes crinkle sweetly at the corners. "We did, didn't we? You with your fucking <em>rip in the sky, </em>what was going through your head, huh?"</p><p>
  <em>You.</em>
</p><p>"I was exhausted, ok," Minju defends herself wearily. "I'm way too unfit and that exercise had me fucking out of it,"</p><p>
  <em>I need to ask you.</em>
</p><p>"Well if it's making you look the way you do then it's working fucking wonders,"</p><p>
  <em>I need to know if you're ok.</em>
</p><p>"Flower?"</p><p>
  <em>I need to know what makes you scream in your sleep.</em>
</p><p>"Hey, Min? You with me?"</p><p>"What happened last night?" Minju regrets the words the moment they slip from behind her lips. There's a moment's silence where neither of them speak, and even though it only lasts a second, it feels like an eternity.</p><p>Chaewon finally speaks up. "I'm sorry, what?"</p><p>Minju hesitates. "When you woke up," she starts, unable look at Chaewon in the eyes. "What happened?"</p><p>Chaewon gives her a funny look. "Sorry, I've no idea what you're talking about. You mean when I woke up this morning?"</p><p>Minju shakes her head insistently. "It was just gone midnight, I had to wake you up because you were screaming so loud,"</p><p>Chaewon's eyes go wide. "Shit, really? What was I saying?"</p><p>Minju swallows. "<em>Get him off of me,"</em></p><p>Chaewon's face blanches, but Minju misses it in favour of looking down at her hands.</p><p>"Over and over. I tried to reach out to you but you- you pushed me away before I could. You looked so terrified, like- <em>fuck </em>I was so scared. And then you started calling out "flower" and even though I said I was there you just kept saying it again and again. It was like you couldn't even see me," she finally looks up. Chaewon's staring at her, and- no, actually.</p><p>That's wrong.</p><p>Chaewon's staring <em>through </em>her, looking at her almost as though she isn't even there. Minju tries to catch her eye. "Chae-"</p><p>"Flower?"</p><p>Minju freezes. There's a tense silence for much too long that she doesn't dare fill.</p><p>"Flower?"</p><p>She just stares through her. Chaewon stares right through her, staring through her like she isn't there. "Flower?"</p><p>"Yeah, flower," Minju confirms, hesitantly reaching out her hand. Chaewon looks at it, wide eyed an innocent looking, before shaking her head insistently.</p><p>"Don't touch me," she mumbles. "Don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me," over and over like a mantra under her breath.</p><p>Minju withdraws her hand, trying to force down the alarm she feels bubbling in her stomach. "Chaewon?" She tries to catch her eye.</p><p>Chaewon's gaze slowly meets hers. Her eyes are glassy, looking at her yet looking at anywhere but her.</p><p>"You're safe yeah? No one's gonna touch you,"</p><p>But Chaewon only shakes her head again, harder. "Get him off of me," she murmurs. She looks down at her thighs, swiping urgently at them like there's something there. Her tone is much calmer compared to last night, almost as if she doesn't have the energy to scream and yell. Like she's just given in. "Fuh-<em>fuck, </em>get him off of me," Minju can hear the sounds of Chaewon's fingernails itching furiously at her skin.</p><p>They begin to attract strange looks as Chaewon persistently mumbles to herself underneath her breath. Before she can bring herself to think, Minju reaches across the table and grabs both of Chaewon's wrists, shushing her as the elder looks at her in alarm. "Butterfly," is all Minju manages. "You're like a butterfly, yeah? You're small and you're pretty but you're <em>strong. </em>Don't let him touch you. He's never gonna touch you,"</p><p>And then, Chaewon's eyes become less glassy, becoming clear. She looks at Minju like she's <em>there. </em>"Fuck," she breathes. "Fuck, fuck, <em>shit," </em>she grips Minju's hands tightly, dipping her head. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry,"</p><p>Minju can't help but gaze at her sadly, watching as Chaewon grips onto hands like a lifeline, shoulders quivering as she cries quietly.</p><p>
  <em>Get him off of me.</em>
</p><p>Minju might not know who <em>him </em>is, but she knows that it's not gonna take a scientist to figure it out. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Remind me again why we've been in the stationary store for the past..." Yuri checks her phone. "Twenty five minutes?"</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes, scanning the varying array of notebooks carefully. "There's a human characteristic called 'patience' that I think you have yet to obtain. Twenty five minutes isn't even that long,"</p><p>Yuri scoffs, although it's playful, crossing her arms. "That doesn't answer my question. Since when were you such a stationary nerd?"</p><p>Minju shrugs. "I'm just... trying something new,"</p><p>
  <em>Try something new.</em>
</p><p>That's what Chaewon had said.</p><p>They'd left the breakfast café before they'd even gotten a chance to order, Minju figuring that Chaewon needed the space. Sitting on a park bench in the midst of children's laughter and the rustling of leaves had certainly aided in the process of getting her heart rate back to normal.</p><p>"Shit," Chaewon breathed, letting out a short laugh as she rested her head on Minju's shoulder. "I completely fucked that up, didn't I?"</p><p>"I don't mind," Minju responded quietly.</p><p>Chaewon looked up at her, eyebrows knitted together. "You don't sound like you don't," she commented, before adding on softly "Are <em>you </em>alright?"</p><p>Minju pressed her lips together. "Oh, I'm fine," she responded. "I just know that you're not,"</p><p>Chaewon tensed for a fraction of a second, and Minju wouldn't have noticed if the older wasn't pressed to close into her side. Then, a slow, easy smile spread across her face like melting butter, and if it wasn't for the glaze over her eyes, Minju would've been fooled. "We've known each other for a while now, haven't we?"</p><p>Minju scoffed, looking away. "You're scary good at changing the subject,"</p><p>Chaewon's smile disappeared.</p><p>There was a deafening silence between them, and for once, it was unbearably uncomfortable. Chaewon slowly lifted her head away from Minju's shoulder. Moved away from her side the smallest bit.</p><p>"What's wrong, Chaewon?"</p><p>Chaewon bit at a hangnail. "I already said, 'm fi-"</p><p>"I asked you what's wrong,"</p><p>"And I don't have to tell you shit," Chaewon snapped. However, her gaze softened within an instance, letting her shoulders droop and eyeline fall to her feet. "Sorry," she mumbled, genuinely. "Shouldn't have said that,"</p><p>"It's ok," Minju gingerly took her hand, hoping she'd take it as a sign of reassurance. "Just- please,"</p><p>Chaewon shook her head. She held onto Minju's hand tighter. "I don't know, Min," she exhaled slowly. "I'm lonely, yeah? I've only got Songmin, and, well, I guess now I've got you," she flushed, speaking too fast. She wouldn't look Minju in the eyes. "I've never really had anyone close to me since- well, since Yena," her cheeks were burning. "Love doesn't seem to be very fond of me,"</p><p>"But what happened? What happened last night, or in the café?" Minju tried. "Why do you keep calling out to me when I'm- when I'm right in front of you?"</p><p>Chaewon took in a rattled breath. "Because sometimes it feels like you're not,"</p><p>Minju let her words hang, thick and heavy, before responding with a quiet "Why?"</p><p>More silence.</p><p>Chaewon didn't respond.</p><p>"<em>Get him off of me," </em>Minju quoted. "Is he-"</p><p>"It doesn't matter who he is," Chaewon cut across her before she could finish her sentence. "It doesn't matter. <em>He </em>doesn't matter," she let go of Minju's hand. "You think this doesn't scare me too?" She asked. "You think it isn't terrifying to have you sitting inches in front of me yet feeling like you're not? Feeling like I'm in the dark, and all I can hear is his-" she clamped her lips shut. "Whatever," she looked up at the sky. "Doesn't matter,"</p><p>"His what?"</p><p>Chaewon looked at her out of the corner of her eye, gazing at her like a hawk. "His voice," her voice was hoarse. "All I can hear is his voice,"</p><p>Minju let her words wallow in her mind, letting them slowly settle. <em>All I can hear is his voice.</em></p><p>"Songmin isn't bad to me, flower," Minju felt a small hint of reassurance at the familiar word. "I just don't like him for what he is,"</p><p>Minju wanted to believe her. But people that you simply "don't like" don't make you sob like she did, they don't make you hallucinate that they aren't where they are in reality. You don't hear their voice wherever you go, whatever you do.</p><p>But who was she to make a judgement? It was Chaewon's decision, this was Chaewon's way of forcing life to do it her way. And if that's what she wanted, then Minju wasn't gonna stop her.</p><p>She rubbed at her nose thoughtfully. "I know that like..." she sighed. "I know you're not telling me everything. And that's fine, but just like, know that if I didn't leave you one week ago, then I'm definitely not gonna leave you now. I know we haven't known each other that long but," she stole a glance at Chaewon, who was smiling at her fondly, before quickly looking away. <em>Fuck, </em>why did she have to blush so easily? "I don't know. Just know that I'll stay with you,"</p><p>Chaewon placed a hand over her heart dramatically. "Look at you, I never knew romantic monologues could be a talent, yet here we are,"</p><p>"Shut up,"</p><p>Chaewon ignored her, placing her head in her palms, grin wide on her face. "You've got a real way with words, you know. Could be a writer or something,"</p><p>Minju rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and shaking her head. "Don't be stupid,"</p><p>"No, I'm serious!" Chaewon insisted, eyes glimmering with delight. "Like that whole <em>there's a Rip in the Sky </em>thing? That was like, super philosophical when you think about it,"</p><p>Minju raised an eyebrow. "You're never letting that go, are you?"</p><p>"Nope!" Chaewon's grin stays firm between her cheeks as she shakes her head. "But why not give it a try, hm? Someone like you should keep trying something new. Since you're good at them all, just see which one's your favourite,"</p><p><em>A writer. </em>Minju had thought to herself. <em>Doesn't sound half bad.</em></p><p>Which, really, is just a big long answer to Yuri's question. Minju's in the stationary store because she wants to try writing.</p><p>Because if Kim Chaewon asked her to do it, then fuck, she's gonna fucking do it.</p><p>After choosing a suitable notebook after half an hour ("Half of a fucking hour, Minju!" Yuri exclaimed), both Yuri and Minju wander the streets of the town, looking for something to entertain themselves.</p><p>"So," Yuri pokes at her side, eyes glimmering. "How's lovergirl?"</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes. "I'm really starting to think your obsession with our so far platonic relationship is seriously worrying. Besides, I haven't seen her since we got lunch," she lies.</p><p>Yuri pulls a face. "You're no fun,"</p><p>"Anyway, there's all this talk of me and Chaewon, but where's all the talk of you and Yena, hm?"</p><p>Yuri snorts, raising her chin. She takes her time looking in the window of a shop selling shoes. "Everything to do with Yena and I has already been discussed," she doesn't do a very good job of hiding the pride in her voice. "I love her, she loves me, all's good,"</p><p>"How?"</p><p>Yuri stops in her tracks, frowning. "How?"</p><p>Minju mimics her actions, stopping just a metre away from her. "How," she confirms. "How does it feel to be loved by her?"</p><p>Yuri seems taken aback at the question. She fiddles with the cuffs of her jacket sleeves, pulling them over the joints of her fingers. Tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yena is... quiet,"</p><p>Minju hikes her bag up higher on the shoulder. "Are we talking about the same Yena here?" She asks, taking a hold of Yuri's hand and dragging her in the direction of the queue for the ice cream parlour.</p><p>"Oh, shut up," Yuri flushes, letting Minju lead the way. "I mean in the way she loves me,"</p><p>"Yena loves you quietly,"</p><p>Yuri hums, and Minju take it as a sign of agreement. "It's the little things, you know? Ringing me at random to ask if I'm ok, offering lifts home from school, that sorta thing. She always seems to know I need things before I even know myself," she sighs. "Sometimes I think she has a hard time telling me she loves me. Not because she doesn't, but it's just... not her thing, I guess. But it's like the saying goes, actions speak louder than words,"</p><p>Minju opens her mouth to reply, but not before Yuri's phone begins to ring. A slow smile spreads across her face at what must be a familiar ring tone. "Speak of The Devil and she will come," she mumbles, taking her phone out of her pocket with a grin and pressing it to her ear. "Hi, Yena,"</p><p>It doesn't take long for Minju to realise that something isn't right.</p><p>Yuri's face quickly contorts from one of joy to confusion, her worry lines deepening and eyebrows knitting together.</p><p>"Sorry, what?" She blocks out her other ear with her palm as Yena talks on the other end of the line. "I'm in town with Minju," more talking, louder this time. Yuri's face suddenly blanches white, jaw dropping to the floor. "Shit, I-"</p><p>Although Minju can't make out any words, she can tell that Yena's yelling.</p><p>"Fuck, I'm sorry, ok?" Yuri's own voice increases in volume, sounding annoyed. "It's not the end of the-" she gets cut off by Yena again, a scowl curling her lips.</p><p>Minju discreetly takes a hold of Yuri's elbow and leads her into a nearby alleyway, away from the small group of people who'd begun to give them strange looks.</p><p>"It doesn't matter what <em>I </em>did, what matters is that you have no fucking right to scream at me like the world's on fucking fire!" Yuri spits.</p><p>Yena yells back just as loudly, and Minju can't do anything other than watch the chaos unfold before her eyes. "I know it was, and I told you that I was sorry!" She turns her back on Minju, walking a few paces away from her. "Say that again,"</p><p>Minju swallows thickly. She can feel the tension crackling in the air like static electricity.</p><p>"No, you heard me, say that again,"</p><p>As Yena speaks, Yuri's free hand clenches tightly into a fist. "A bitch, huh?"</p><p>Minju doesn't hear Yena respond. Yuri only scoffs in response. "Fuck you, Yena," she ends the call and pockets her phone, before burying her face into her hands. Minju doesn't register that the younger is crying until she has her arms wrapped around her, Yuri's chin propped against her shoulder. She rubs slow circles into her back and shushing her gently as she cries, hot tears spilling onto Minju's shoulder. "Why did I do that?" Yuri's voice is thick, words slightly slurred. "<em>Fuck, </em>Min, why did I yell at her? God, I- I'm so stupid!"</p><p>"No you're not," Minju's voice is gentle, bringing a hand up to card through Yuri's hair soothingly. "What did you do?"</p><p>"I-" Yuri hiccups, wiping furiously at her cheeks. "Today's our six months. She wanted to take me out for lunch, said she had something really important to tell me," she sniffs, rubbing her nose. "I was supposed to be at the restaurant twenty minutes ago,"</p><p>"Fuck," is all Minju manages, because what are you supposed to say to something like that? "Fuck, Joyul,"</p><p>"But she still shouldn't have yelled at me like that!" Yuri's tone rises, face reddening again. "Like, <em>shit, </em>I know I fucked up but like it doesn't mean she can scream at me like that,"</p><p>Minju hesitates. "Did she call you a bitch?"</p><p>Yuri rolls her eyes, a strong facade that would've fooled Minju if she didn't know Yuri so well. "As if it matters," she mumbles, crossing her arms.</p><p>"It actually doesn't," Minju thinks aloud. "Neither of you meant what you said just there. Not really. You love her, she loves you, all's good right?"</p><p>Yuri bites her bottom lip. "I just hate letting her down," she heaves a sigh.</p><p>Minju tuts, dusting down Yuri's shoulder's playfully. "You could never let her down," she reassures her. "You just gotta find a way to make it up to her,"</p><p>"I suppose," Yuri smiles sheepishly. "Sorry about losing our place in the queue by the way,"</p><p>Minju shrugs as they both walk out of the alley. "I wasn't really feeling it anyway,"</p><p>"You may be the best friend, but you're the worst liar,"</p><p>"Hey, I'll take it," She tosses an arm around Yuri's shoulders, drawing her in closer. "Let's get you home, hm? I'm thinking chocolate and The Avengers,"</p><p>"Oh my god I actually love you,"</p><p>"Don't worry about it. I got you, yeah?"</p><p>"And I got you," </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju takes Yuri home on the tram, Yuri's head lolling against her shoulder with her eyes shut, dried tear stains glimmering on her cheeks.</p><p>Minju's notebook and pen are in her grasp on her lap, and she's unable to take her eyes off of them as the tram trundles on. The notebook is pretty, with a hardback cover of a deep blue, specks of teal and the colour of frost splattered across the front. The pen is nothing special, maybe a bit better than the ones she'd use for school, a soft grip and slightly heavy in her hold.</p><p>She looks down at Yuri, her head still against her shoulder and her eyes gently closed. The sunlight warms her skin and gets caught in the chestnut strands of her hair. Her eyelashes rest delicately on her cheekbones, her pale pink lips downturned slightly. Theres's a crinkle to her nose, and her worry lines are more visible.</p><p>Minju looks at her notebook. She opens it up on the first page, freshly blank and having that new-book smell, and smooths her palm across the first page. She takes in a shaky breath and picks up the pen, suddenly feeling a lot more heavy than before.</p><p><em>Anything you want. </em>She thinks to herself. <em>Anything you want on these pages. These pages are you.</em></p><p>So without hesitating, she puts the pen to page, and begins to scrawl out her words, slowly yet with confidence.</p><p>
  <em>It doesn't matter if it's not good. You can progress. You can grow.</em>
</p><p>Her eyebrows pinch together as she concentrates, tongue caught between her two front teeth as she grips the pen a little firmer. It becomes lighter with every word she writes, like each letter is liberating her to continue on, urging her to pour herself into the page.</p><p>When she's finished, and she reads back over it, she acknowledges at its no masterpiece. <em>And that's ok. </em>She nods to herself as she traces over the words with her finger. <em>You can grow. You can find something.</em></p><p>The fact that it's not perfect makes her even that small bit excited. Like she's got all this time and space to develop and nurture and it's- it's <em>invigorating.</em></p><p>She plucked her thoughts from her mind and put them down on paper. That's all she wanted to do. </p><p>She taps Yuri on the shoulder, the other girl blinking her eyes open blearily. They meet Minju's, glazed over with a misty haze. Minju hands her the notebook, open on the page she'd written on. Yuri takes it gingerly, mind slow with sleep, and reads the words slowly.</p><p>She reads it again. And again.</p><p>Her eyes brim with tears as she hugs the notebook close to her chest, burying her nose into the juncture between Minju's neck and shoulder. Minju feels her eyelashes fluttering furiously against her skin, warm and damp, as Yuri takes in a shaky breath. A barely audible "thank you," slips past her lips in a hoarse whisper, and Minju cards her hand through her hair soothingly.</p><p>Her eyes are drawn to the words on the page once more.</p><p>
  <em>I'm looking at you now</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And your eyes are closed. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Your cheeks are blooming coral</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Shiny and damp</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But your eyes are closed.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And I want you to open them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because I want you to see</em>
  <br/>
  <em>That you are loved.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You are beautiful </em>
  <br/>
  <em>And you are strong</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But above all</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You are loved.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So keep your eyes open for me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That night, Minju awakens to the sound of buzzing. She groans, unwillingly lifting her head away from her pillow. She sits up groggily, rubbing at her eyes with her fists. With bleary vision, she looks at the faintly glowing numbers of the alarm clock on her right.</p><p>
  <b>12:42am</b>
</p><p>She groans again, putting her head back down on the pillow with little resistance. Who the fuck is calling her at quarter to one in the morning?</p><p>She blindly reaches out an arm, feeling along her bedside locker for her phone. It continues to blare her ringtone mercilessly, and Minju curses herself for not putting it on silent before going to sleep.</p><p>She raises the phone to her ear, not even bothering to check who's calling. "What?"</p><p>"Min," Chaewon's familiar tone filters through the speaker, indifferent yet with her usual amused lilt. "Are you busy right now?"</p><p>If Chaewon were here with her right now, Minju'd have a tough time trying not to punch her. "Chaewon, its nearly one a.m. Take a wild guess,"</p><p>"Well guess you don't want to hear what I have to say then,"</p><p>Minju lets out a tired groan, rubbing her face with her hand. "Well fucking enlighten me then,"</p><p>"I'm hungry,"</p><p>"Stellar,"</p><p>"So I want you to get food with me,"</p><p>"At one a.m?"</p><p>"At one a.m,"</p><p>Minju finds it slightly worrying that she's not even surprised. Also worrying how willing she is to actually get out of bed at this hour just because Chaewon wants to go get food, but Minju pushes that thought to the back of her mind. "I actually can't believe you're making me agree to this. Where do I meet you?"</p><p>Chaewon hums lowly to herself, sounding distant. Like she's not really aware of what Minju said. "I can- I can pick the place-" she cuts herself off with a gasp, making Minju frown. "-right?"</p><p>"Chae? Are you ok?"</p><p>Chaewon hums again, sounding strained. There's the faintest sound of muffled mumbling audible through the phone, low and deep. Someone who's definitely notChaewon.</p><p>There's the faintest sound of lips breaking on skin, fabric rustling, Chaewon gasping sharply again, and Minju forms a picture of what might be going on. "Chaewon, are you-"</p><p>"I'll text you the address of where I am, hm?" Chaewon cuts her off with her voice an octave deeper, silken and sultry in a way that clogs up Minju's lungs. "I'll- I'll be outside before you arrive,"</p><p>Minju blushes darkly, swallowing thickly. "O-Ok,"</p><p>She can hear Chaewon's smirk in the way she talks. "See you soon, Min,"</p><p>Three beeps, and the line goes dead.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju gingerly steps over the shattered green glass, the stench of alcohol harsh in her nostrils as she scrunches up her nose. She's not really too sure where she is, just following where her phone tells her to go, but she's certain that it's not the kinda place her parents would approve of her being in.  Groups of scruffy teens sit on the scaffoldings of dilapidated buildings, hoods casting dark shadows across their features as they converse in grunts and low mumbles. The scent of smoke and god knows what else wafts around the place, the occasional boisterous yell reverberating off the walls of ageing, marred buildings. Neon lights flicker irregularly, and bathe the narrow streets in shades of pink and blue.</p><p>Minju sticks a hand into the pocket of her hoodie, veering to the left of a group of junkies talking loudly with slurred words. According to her phone, she's only a minute or two away from Chaewon now, although she is a little wary of where the girl has sent her. It's nowhere near Chaewon's college dorm, she knows that for sure, so the only other place Minju can fathom is, well, Songmin's place.</p><p>She recalls the low thrum of his voice coming from the speaker, similar to the sound of a pencil scratching on paper. The sounds of his lips pressed against Chaewon's skin. The mere thought of it is enough to send shudders slithering down Minju's spine.</p><p>But then again, if Songmin is as fucking loaded as Chaewon says he is, then he sure as hell ain't living in a place like this.</p><p>Just as her phone tells her that she's nearing her destination, the low sounds of heavy bass begin to filter into Minju's ears. She can feel it in her feet when she walks, quivering up through her bones. She peers up from her screen to see a set of steps leading down into a club of some sorts, excited yells and strobe lighting evidence of just that.</p><p>And that's when Minju hears her - a breathy giggle cut off by a strained gasp.</p><p>Minju leans back, peering down the alleyway she'd just past, and sees a stocky man with her back to her. There's a pair of dainty hands visible behind his neck, cuffed with a very familiar Chanel jacket.</p><p>Minju watches from around the corner as Songmin (at least, Minju's hoping it's Songmin) brings his large hands to hold onto Chaewon's lithe waist, as he leans down to kiss her. Minju feels her stomach churn as he bullies her up against the wall roughly, hand planted next to the side of her head as Chaewon curls one of those dainty hands around his collar.</p><p>It's plain as day that Songmin is more than well-off. The watch on his wrist looks as heavy as Minju's schoolbag, his large, thick fingers clad in sparkling rings that squeeze the flesh unflatteringly tight. He's tall, with a protruding stomach and slicked back hair, heavy stubble on his face. It's like looking at Beauty and the Beast.</p><p>Minju sees Chaewon pull back slightly, standing on her toes to whisper something into his ear, lips curling into a smirk as he frowns to himself.</p><p>And then-</p><p>And then Chaewon's gaze shifts from Songmin to Minju, and Minju swears her heart stops. She'd been caught.</p><p>But Chaewon doesn't do anything other than let her smirk grow that bit bigger, lets her eyes linger on Minju for a bit too long, before Songmin's tugging her back into another bruising kiss.</p><p>Their lips glide together with a practised skilfulness, their hands seeking to know exactly where to touch and where to hold. Chaewon's eyelids flutter open, and her gaze locks with Minju, who still wasn't able to look away from them. Chaewon's eyes are alluring yet playful, pinning Minju down wordlessly and almost <em>inviting</em> her to keep watching.</p><p>She's teasing her.</p><p>Songmin's hand grips onto her chin, and Chaewon squirms as he pinches her waist lightly. She takes it as an opportunity to break away, ducking beneath his arm to walk away from where he'd pinned her to the wall.</p><p>Minju promptly takes a step to her left, away from Songmin's line of sight, her heart palpitating much too hard inside her chest, forcing its way up into her throat. She hears muffled sounds of them conversing, the contrasts of their tones of voice almost comical. Chaewon's is high and sweet, sugar coated and syrupy, whilst Songmin's is gruff and short. Chaewon starts to take footsteps, coming closer towards her, and she emerges from the alleyway like a blessing from heaven.</p><p>There's gold smudged on her eyelids, a shimmer on her cheekbones and a dark colour to her lips, smeared slightly. Her dress reaches just above halfway down her thighs, clinging to her tightly, though having it paired with her jacket makes it a lot more casual.</p><p>So, in short, stunning.</p><p>"Quickly," she hisses, checking behind her shoulder to check and see if Songmin is following her. She takes Minju's hand and begins to lead her away from the entrance to the underground club. "I don't want him seeing you. You'll put me out of a job,"</p><p>Minju resists the urge to snort as they speed walk down the other end of the street, which narrows even further into a darker section of the city. Her heeled shoes <em>click-clack </em>insistently against the brick road.</p><p>"It was a weird way for me to greet you, I know," Chaewon dusts herself down, running her hands through her hair as if it wasn't already in immaculate condition. "But thanks for coming out, I swear I had no idea it was so late,"</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes, though it's not serious. "Well a warning that Songmin would be there would've been nice,"</p><p>Chaewon looks like she's trying not to laugh. "He was being louder than a fucking horse when I rang, how did you not hear?"</p><p>"Oh trust me, I heard everything,"</p><p>"Well then I could hardly have warned you about him while he was sucking my neck like a fucking vampire," Chaewon pokes Minju's side playfully, making her giggle. "As far as he's concerned, I'm meeting up with a school friend right now,"</p><p>Minju throws up her hands in defeat. "Fine, fine, fair point," she admits. "Where are you planning on us going? Not gonna lie, my mouths been watering ever since you mentioned food,"</p><p>Chaewon smiles at her warmly, taking her both of her hands and walking backwards while Minju walks forward. She's a bit taller than usual, with her heels, long, creamy legs that look like porcelain. Her hair falls down her back in strawberry curls, wispy strands framing her face and giving life to her chestnut eyes.</p><p>Minju really wishes she had her notebook right now. She'd surely be able to fill at least six pages inspired by Chaewon's pretty- pretty <em>everything </em>alone.</p><p>"There's a twenty four hour dessert place not to far from here," Chaewon continues, and her voice is casual, like she's not just standing there looking like a fucking angel. "So how keen are you on cinnamon rolls?"</p><p>"I think you mean my religion,"</p><p>"Ah, a fellow intellectual I see,"</p><p>There's a moments pause, a silence that Minju's sure she's supposed to be filling, but she can't because "You're breathtaking,"</p><p>Chaewon tenses, and her walking slows. "Were you-" her cheeks darken. "Were you supposed to say that out loud?" She squeaks.</p><p>Minju shrugs, not really caring, just letting her eyes trace every fucking millimetre of Chaewon's face. "Fuck if I know," she sounds a little in awe. "You're just fucking beautiful,"</p><p>Chaewon ducks her head, embarrassed, though Minju just manages to catch a glimpse of the look in her eyes.</p><p>And she feels her heart shatter into millions of tiny, sharp little fragments.</p><p>Because she can see it in her eyes.</p><p>It's written all over her face.</p><p>Chaewon doesn't believe her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There's colours exploding behind Minju's eyelids.</p><p>Every time Chaewon lets out that endearing giggle, or her hands hug her waist to control her breathless laughter with her eyes screwed shut in happiness, colours explode behind Minju's eyelids.</p><p>The veil is gone. Chaewon's torn it away, casted it aside, and now Minju's swimming in these bright, saturated, addictive colours that she just can't stop drinking in. Warm tones of red and orange and yellow leave her skin buzzing when Chaewon wraps her arms around her shoulders, when she nuzzles her nose into her neck. Purples and blues cloud her senses when Chaewon puts her jacket around Minju's shoulders when she shivers, mumbling something or other about how "I'm not even that cold anyway, you're so reckless coming out this late in just a t-shirt, flower,"</p><p>(But Minju quickly denies, blabbering "Are you fucking kidding me? Knowing me I'd end up getting bird shit all over it or something, it's way too expensive for me to even touch," "So what? I'll just buy a new one," "Sorry, I keep forgetting that you're practically a fucking millionaire," "Just take my jacket, flower," "Yeah, nice try, but in a dress like that you'd catch hypothermia within seconds,")</p><p>Minju drowns in every colour of the goddamn rainbow when Chaewon takes her hand and drags her towards the place that does twenty-four hour desserts, which Minju is relieved to see is just a food truck parked by the river banks. A strong aroma of cinnamon and vanilla and everything sweet invades her senses, causing her to inhale deeply. "Shit," she breathes. "That smells so fucking good,"</p><p>Chaewon giggles childishly, and nope, Minju absolutely refuses to believe that this is the girl she caught making out with a guy twice her age down a dark alleyway just minutes ago. "I told you so! Just wait until you see the cinnamon rolls, they're like, the size of my head,"</p><p>Chaewon isn't lying. Massive cinnamon rolls sizzle in a deep fat fryer larger than Minju's oven, the oil crackling and spewing out steaming droplets like popping corn kernels. A large metal mixing bowl churns the icing, so much of it Minju's sure that it could suffice for fifty portions. Large assortments of equally large and fattening sweets and treats are displayed in a glass case, from cupcakes to cookies, this place seems to have it all.</p><p>There's a plump, stout woman busying herself at the fryer, frayed hair tucked messily under a hair net, and humming to herself way off key. There's a jollyness to her, however, that makes Minju smile, the joyful way in which she waddles from the fryer to the bowl of icing almost endearing. The woman herself grins widely with yellow teeth once she lays eyes on Chaewon, her wrinkled cheeks rosy and full. "Chaewon!" She exclaims. "Long time no see, huh? Here I was, thinking you'd forgotten about me,"</p><p>Chaewon grins back just as brightly, folding her arms across the countertop. "I'd never, mama," she coos sweetly, and while Minju's slightly confused by the term Chaewon used, she's learned by now not to question it. "I've been dreaming of this food ever since I last left,"</p><p>"Over a week ago!" The woman squawks, though there's no malice in her tone. "Kim Chaewon, I'm going to go out of business soon if you go so long without visiting, and then you'll be really sorry,"</p><p>"I know, mama," Chaewon tilts her head, her eyes a little wider than usual and lips drawn together in a pout. "But I've been <em>really </em>busy recently, forgive me?"</p><p>The woman tuts under her breath, shaking her head. "Honestly, young, pretty girls are like you are much too persuasive," she grumbles, and honestly, Minju can relate. "It's a cinnamon roll, I'm assuming?"</p><p>Chaewon shoots Minju a look, eyes sparkling. "Two actually, please,"</p><p>The woman turns and narrows her eyes in Minju's direction, as if she's only just now noticed that she's there. "Is this company, Kim Chaewon?"</p><p>"Yes, mama,"</p><p>"And you didn't introduce me? Where is your common decency, huh?"</p><p>"Lost that long ago, mama," Chaewon sing-songs, closing her fingers around Minju's elbow and drawing her forward a little. "This is Minju. She's ..." she trails off, giving Minju a sly look. "A good <em>friend</em> of mine,"</p><p>Minju swallows thickly.</p><p>"And Minju, this is Sooyoung,"</p><p>"But you can call me mama!" The woman bellows heartily, pointing her wooden spoon at Minju. "Everyone does. Even my own mama calls me mama,"</p><p>Minju blinks. "Was that a joke or-"</p><p>Chaewon leans in closer to speak by her ear. "When it comes to mama, it's best not to ask," her smile is audible in her voice. "Just thank your blessings for the good food and take whatever comes out of her mouth with a pinch of salt,"</p><p>"Kim Chaewon, I can hear you!" Sooyoung chides from where she's turned her back on them to take the rolls out of the fryer, the greasy, vanilla-y smell making Minju's mouth water. Chaewon replies with another "Sorry, mama,", not sounding apologetic in the slightest.</p><p>It's not long before Sooyoung has two cinnamon rolls wrapped up in parchment, piping hot and handing one to Minju with a smile. The icing is dripping off the edges with the heat of the fried dough, and the oil still sizzles on the crisp, golden crust. It smells <em>heavenly.</em></p><p>Both her and Chaewon take them with a chorused "Thank you!" That tugs harder at the corners of Sooyoung's lips. Chaewon's handing over the cash to pay (much more than they were actually charged, Minju notices), when Sooyoung speaks up once more. "It's far too cold for you to be out dressed like that," her tone is a lot softer than before, a stark contrast to her loud, boisterous words from before. "You'll catch a nasty cold if you don't wrap up more,"</p><p>Chaewon smiles, though it's a little sad, as she shakes her head when Sooyoung tries to offer her change. "I know, mama. But what Songmin wants, Songmin gets,"</p><p>Sooyoung tuts, face melancholy as she reaches out and cups Chaewon's cheek. "He's a fucking pig, dear,"</p><p>"I know,"</p><p>"Just say the word and I'll cook him in the fryer,"</p><p>Chaewon giggles, a little short, looking at Sooyoung with trust in her gaze as she grips onto the woman's wrist.</p><p>Sooyoung only sighs again, thumb caressing Chaewon's cheek. "God, look at you. So young and beautiful," the woman's eyes mourn. "You won't need him one day. One day, you'll make beautiful music, and you can kick him to the dirt,"</p><p>Minju feels like she's invading on something she shouldn't be watching. "I can dream, mama," Chaewon nods, gently taking Sooyoung's hand away from her cheek.</p><p>Sooyoung leans over, placing a chaste kiss on Chaewon's forehead. "Work hard, dear," she mumbles against her skin. "And you," she pulls back, pointing her spoon at Minju again. "Look after her, alright?"</p><p>"Uh..."</p><p>Luckily, Chaewon swoops in to save Minju from her lack of eloquency, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "Trust me, mama," she grins. "Minju's doing that just fine,"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Ok, that was fucking stellar. Ten out of ten would recommend,"</p><p>"What did I tell you?" Chaewon sighs in content, placing her empty parchment on the river bank next to her. "The best in town. Ain't nobody doing it quite like her,"</p><p>They've situated themselves right next to the river, their legs dangling over the edge and watching the reflections of the street lamps ripple through the water. Minju is positively <em>stuffed </em>after eating that roll, sure that she could go for weeks without eating and still be full.</p><p>Despite the cold night, it's like a hot syrup is being pumped through Minju's veins, keeping her toasty warm on the inside and filling her with adrenaline that makes her heart race.</p><p>Though, it's not the only thing.</p><p>Because Chaewon is <em>radiant.</em></p><p>It's like there's a faint golden aura encircling her form as she lays on the grass, eyelashes resting delicately against her cheekbones and pretty raspberry lips parted slightly. Her porcelain skin gleams with a moonlit sheen, getting caught in her hair and giving her an otherworldly aura. Her fingertips are fragile and gentle where they rest by her sides, palms facing upwards and her fingers curling slightly towards them. Short, puffed breaths leave her lips in a regular pattern, cute sounds that leave Minju's heart <em>aching </em>and <em>shit, </em>that's when it dawns on her.</p><p>It hits her like a fucking truck.</p><p>She's in love.</p><p>She's so fucking in love.</p><p>She's in love with Chaewon, and there's not a goddamn thing that she can do about it.</p><p>Falling is supposed to hurt, so why does this feel so- so good?</p><p>Minju's torn out of her thoughts when Chaewon hisses sharply, the other girl sitting up quickly, her hand flying up to cradle the back of her head. "Shit, fuck," her face is contorted into an expression of pain.</p><p>Minju's eyebrows furrow together, concerned. "Are you alright? What happened?"</p><p>Chaewon draws her hand away from the back of her head, her fingertips gleaming a dark scarlet.</p><p>Minju's face blanches. "What the fu-"</p><p>"Look out!" Chaewon grabs a hold of her, tugging her close, Minju narrowly missing the small, sharp pebble that whistles past her ear.</p><p>Pebble. Someone's throwing pebbles at them.</p><p>It's only then that Minju registers a loud chorus of jeers coming from somewhere behind them, insults mixing together into one useless taunt.</p><p>One however, sticks out from the rest.</p><p>"Fucking whore!"</p><p>Chaewon tenses underneath Minju's touch, and Minju feels her own body go stiff. She looks up at Chaewon's face for a reaction but- nothing.</p><p>In fact, she looks oddly calm.</p><p>She takes in a short breath, as if she's contemplating something, before she leans in close by Minju's ear and murmurs: "Wait here,"</p><p>It's when Chaewon stands up that Minju sees them; a small group of both boys and girls, probably in their early twenties, dressed in similar dark attire and sneers smeared on their ugly faces. A tall girl stands at the front of the troupe, maybe eight of them in all, a smug look on her face that makes Minju's stomach churn. A lit cigarette burns between two of her fingers, speaking after she takes a lethargic drag. "Girl like you must think she's the fucking shit, huh?" She drawls. "Splashes a bit of cash after kissing a guy's feet and suddenly thinks the world is at hers," she takes a few steps forward, black leather boots loud on the concrete, too close to Chaewon for comfort. "Not having a gag reflex will only get you so far, you know," the group grow restless at her remark, jeering and nudging each other restlessly with smirks on their lips like a wild pack of hyenas.</p><p>And while Minju feels her blood boil, Chaewon, honest to god, smiles. One of those sweet smiles that brings out the pink in her cheeks, though it's the wildfire in her eyes that lets Minju know that it's all an act. "And wouldn't you like to know,"</p><p> The girl scoffs. "What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>Chaewon hums casually, and like it's nothing, plucks the cigarette out of the girl's hold. "You look like you'd take it real good hm?" She takes a slow drag, blowing the smoke into the girl's face, all with that same sweet smile on her face. "Think taunting me about what I wear is gonna make me take them off? Is that what you want?"</p><p>The girl sneers, though it's clear in her hesitance that she's become uneasy. "What, you think I'm some fucking fag?"</p><p>Chaewon's smile turns sultry, tone dropping to something sensual. "Well I don't know, sugar," her voice is breathy. "You tell me," she reaches out, finger tracing a prominent line down the girl's jaw. "Cuz right now, it looks like you're getting pretty... excited, hm?"</p><p>The girl doesn't move away, but she tilts her jaw upwards, trying to squirm away from Chaewon's touch. "You- you're fucking disgusting," she speaks through gritted teeth.</p><p>Chaewon feigns surprise, bringing her thumb up to gently smooth across the girl's lower lip. "Me?" Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. "You're the one getting turned on by a- what was it you called me? A whore? Your small brain couldn't come up with something more original, no?"</p><p>The girl struggles to reply, her small crowd behind her seeming unaware of what to do next.</p><p>Minju struggles to hear what Chaewon says next, just about able to make out her words when Chaewon leans in close to the girl's ear. "People like you make me fucking sick,"</p><p>And then, quick as lightning, Chaewon turns the girl around so that her back is to the river, and that she's in front of her. Before Minju's even able to think, Chaewon's pushing the girl, hard, with so much force that she tumbles into the river with an ear-splitting shriek, plunging into the icy cold water with a splash.</p><p>"C'mon!" Minju's mind is slow to catch up as Chaewon takes her hand, hauling her up off the ground and launching into a sprint, the group of punks beginning to chase them. They run alongside the river with the cold air dragging its nail's down their skin, and Chaewon's hair whips behind her like a strawberry ripple as it caught in the harsh breeze. The group behind them roar angrily, yelling and shaking their firsts as their faces boil red with rage, but Chaewon-</p><p>Chaewon's <em>laughing</em>.</p><p>She's laughing loudly as her jacket billows out begins her, eyes bright and alive as her grin splits her face. Laughing after pushing a girl into river, laughing while being chased by a group screaming for her fucking death.</p><p>She's nothing but trouble.</p><p>And Minju's so in love.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The light from the television screen illuminates Chaewon's face almost hauntingly, sharpening her features as she swallows. The video game controller quivers in her hold, eyes glued to the character she's controlling as Minju watches intently.</p><p>They'd run all the way back to Minju's house with the wind swallowing up their breathless laughter, cries of "shit, flower, did you fucking see her face? Priceless!" bubbling from Chaewon's lips with excitement. Whether it be a sugar high from Sooyoung's rolls, or just the adrenaline burst she got from being in Chaewon's presence, Minju doesn't know. All she knows is that she wants more of it.</p><p>Neither of them were tired, once they got back to Minju's place. Chaewon didn't pressure her with questions about where her parents were, or how they'd let her out at such an hour, and Minju was grateful. So as a way of expressing her gratitude, Minju had surprised her with a horror game, which Chaewon positively <em>adored.</em></p><p>("Kim Minju! You told me this was Mario Kart!" "Whoops, must've put the wrong disc into the case," "Yeah, well, change it back!" "Well you've already started now. Might as well continue," "You're such a fucking bitch," "Love you too,")</p><p>"No!" Chaewon yells at the screen, trembling slightly, but shaking the controller in her hand at the screen with anger all the same. "You run out of the fucking house, you dumb bitch! Not towards all the danger!"</p><p>Minju giggles softly. They're swamped in the darkness of the front room, on the carpet, leaning against the couch. Chaewon had huddled close against Minju's side during one particularly gory part of the game, and hasn't moved from her position since. "The characters can't hear you, you know,"</p><p>Chaewon huffs, (cutely, but Minju never said that if anyone asks) blowing a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes. "Well then what's the point in me controlling them if they don't- oh fuck <em>shitshitshit</em> those monster things are back!" she presses closer into Minju's side. "What do I do?! Min, what am I doing?!"</p><p>Minju reaches out, placing her hands out over Chaewon's to steady her grip on the controller. "You need to keep still. One of those <em>don't move </em>icons will be coming up soon,"</p><p>Chaewon whines. "But I don't like- oh fuck!"</p><p>Chaewon tries to keep the controller as still as possible as the monster on the screen breathes down the character's neck. Minju can see her holding her breath, cheeks puffed out and gaze concentrated. She lets out a deep exhale once the order disappears from the screen, the monster stalking away. "You know what, fuck this," Chaewon lightly tosses the controller to the ground by her feet. "The controller won't move if it's on the floor, so fuck you, game,"</p><p>Minju smiles fondly, entwining a rosy strand of hair around her finger. "Didn't pike you as the type to get pissy over a game,"</p><p>"I'm not!" Chaewon hisses, wincing as two of the monsters on the screen attack each other, sharp claws gleaming and teeth bared. She hides her face in Minju's neck, speaking against her skin. "I'm just scared,"</p><p>Minju's so in love.</p><p>She gives Chaewon a gentle nudge. "It wants you to make a decision. The game, I mean,"</p><p>Chaewon wraps an arm around her waist, and Minju's muscles coil at her touch, her heart palpitating so wildly she's worried Chaewon will be able to hear. "Don't care," Chaewon breathes.</p><p>Minju swallows, trying to keep her breaths steady. "They- they all die if you don't,"</p><p>Chaewon leans away a little at that, frowning at the screen and reading the options she's been presented with. "Help him or run to the switch? What the fuck does that even mean?"</p><p>"You missed the cutscene cuz you were too busy being a little bitch,"</p><p>Chaewon glares at her out of the corner of her eye. "Well homeboy over there can save his own fucking ass," she decides. "He was a prick anyway," she reaches out towards the controller, pressing the option to run towards the switch. She stares at the screen, watching her decision play out before her face contorts into an expression of horror. "Wait, no!" She exclaims. "Why is she running, aren't they gonna-" she cuts herself off with a scream, squeezing her eyes shut and hugging Minju's arm close to her chest. The screen burns with reds and oranges, illuminating the dark room with colours just as harsh.</p><p>Minju sniggers to herself. "You're so dumb,"</p><p>Chaewon looks up at her, eyes wide. "What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>"You just killed like, all the characters,"</p><p>"I'm- sorry what?"</p><p>Minju tries to keep a straight face.</p><p>She's so in love.</p><p>"Basically all the characters are dead now,"</p><p>Chaewon doesn't quite look like she believes her. "So you're telling me," she speaks slowly. "That I played that game for god only knows how many hours, watched all that scary shit, only for them to die at the very end,"</p><p>"Yup,"</p><p>Chaewon throws her hands into the air. "You know what, fuck this. Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everything,"</p><p>Minju quirks a small smile, reaching out for her soft drink on the coffee table. "Is that your job description?"</p><p>Chaewon gasps loudly, laughing in disbelief with eyes the size of golf balls. "Fucking bitch!"</p><p>"And that's the title of your job, I'm assuming?"</p><p>Chaewon splutters. "Are you kidding me? Is this a fucking joke?"</p><p>Minju shrugs. "I'm just stating the-" she's cut off by something ice cold washing over her skin, making her hair stick to her forehead and clothes cling to her skin.</p><p>Chaewon had thrown her drink at her.</p><p>Minju's teeth chatter with the sudden cold, and through the water dripping from her eyelashes, she can just about see Chaewon giggling delightedly to herself, grin wide on her lips as she hugs her stomach.</p><p>She's beautiful.</p><p>And Minju's so in love.</p><p>Minju gathers herself to her feet, water dripping off of her and onto the carpet. She opens her arms. "Why don't you give me a hug, Chae?" She taunts.</p><p>Chaewon squeals excitedly, scrambling to her feet and beginning to run towards the door. "Not a fucking chance!"</p><p>And that's how Minju ends up with her arms wrapped around Chaewon at four a.m, both of dripping water onto the kitchen tiles after Minju had thrown a glass full right back at her.</p><p>She's so in love.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chaewon takes it upon herself to plop down on Minju's bed, towel on her head but a few strands of hair still saturating the sheets. It's not quite five a.m just yet, so the sun has yet to rise, but the sky is definitely a shade paler than before. Not that it matters, when Chaewon draws the curtains shut, drowning the room in a hazy darkness. "Tonight has been fun," she murmurs, eyes shut, Minju staring at her from where's she's sat at the foot of her bed. "I'm not letting it end so quickly,"</p><p>Minju's heart swells, fit to burst.</p><p>She's so in love.</p><p>Chaewon opens an eye, smirking when she sees Minju staring. "You like looking, pretty?"</p><p>Minju's breath clogs up her throat, gripping at the sheets so tight that her knuckles turn white. "Flower," she corrects her, barely audible.</p><p>Chaewon raises an eyebrow, opening her other eye. "You only like me calling you flower, hm?" She drawls, fiddling with the chain around her neck.</p><p>Minju nods timidly, looking away.</p><p>Chaewon breathes out softly, and Minju sees her card her fingers through soaked strands of hair out of the corner of her peripherals. "Fuck, that's cute,"</p><p>And while Minju blushes hard, it's nothing compared to the way her heart nearly spills past her lips when Chaewon sits up, taking her hand and guiding her to lie down next to her. Minju's head falls of the pillow, and since her bed is considerably small, she's a <em>lot </em>closer to Chaewon than she had been at her college dorm. They're so close that Minju could count the minuscule freckles splashed across her nose, could feel her warm breath breaking on her lips. She smells like warm milk.</p><p>And then- there's a change in the atmosphere between them. Minju can't put her finger on it, on what it is that's different, but she knows that something has shifted.</p><p>Chaewon reaches out her forefinger, gently tracing Minju's jaw and leaving hissing scorch marks in her wake. "It's such a pity you won't let me call you pretty, flower," she whispers, eyes darting all over Minju's face. From her eyes, to her nose, to her cheeks, her lips, and her eyes again.</p><p>It's so quiet.</p><p>"Why do you like flower so much?"</p><p>Minju tries to swallow down her nerves, but the lump in her throats only grows larger. She tries to think of something to say, but nothing that suffices comes to mind. "I-"</p><p>"You're shaking," Chaewon chides softly, moving her finger away from Minju's face and sliding her palm down the sheets to take her hand. "I'm nothing scary. Don't quiver when you're around me,"</p><p>
  <em>You're not scary. You're fucking terrifying.</em>
</p><p>"I..." Minju subconsciously holds onto Chaewon's hand tighter. "I mean- it's, it's not a very common nickname. And it, I dunno, the word itself just reminds me of... us," she mumbles, looking down.</p><p>There's silence, after that, and for a horrifying moment, Minju's terrified that she said the wrong thing.</p><p>But then Chaewon lets go of her hand, tilting up her chin with her thumb and forefinger. They lock eyes, and neither of them break their gaze.</p><p>And Chaewon, very slowly, drags her thumb across Minju's lower lip.</p><p>A shudder runs through Minju's body, but she still doesn't look away. Even though she thought it to be impossible, Chaewon leans in that small bit closer, their noses brushing. "Don't ever look away from me," Chaewon breathes and <em>shit </em>her words are fucking <em>bathed </em>in molten chocolate. "Always keep your eyes on me, flower,"</p><p>
  <em>Flower.</em>
</p><p>Chaewon moves her thumb away, and, excruciatingly slowly, presses their lips together.</p><p>Minju feels the breath get knocked out of her lungs, her eyes widening and heart thrumming like there's a hummingbird trapped inside of her ribcage. Because Chaewon treats her with <em>delicacy, </em>her hands touching feather light and airy, her lips soft and gentle against Minju's own.</p><p>Minju lets her eyes flutter shut when Chaewon's hand moves up to cup her cheek, her fingers resting against her skin like Minju's made of glass. There's no fireworks, no confetti, no cheering, just the sounds of rustling sheets and Chaewon's lips working against hers.</p><p>Minju gasps softly when Chaewon takes her lower lip between her teeth, tugging gently before letting go. Chaewon pulls one of those ridiculously attractive smirks, pressing a chaste kiss to Minju's lips and murmuring "You're real cute," before nuzzling into her neck.</p><p>Minju barely has time to breathe before Chaewon's shifting their positions, gently shoving Minju so that she's lain on her back, Chaewon herself kneeling with her legs either side of Minju's hips. And while Minju flushes furiously, Chaewon only leans back in for more.</p><p>This time, there's something urgent in the way they kiss, desperate, Minju's hands finding refuge at Chaewon's waist, her thumbs slipping past the hem of her shirt and drawing slow circles into her skin. Chaewon's lips move faster against hers, rougher, her hand sliding down to rest on Minju's neck.</p><p>Minju's heart stopped beating at one point. She's not too sure when.</p><p>There's something firey about the way Chaewon kisses her, something about it that's so indescribable. It edges on painful, feels like she's being set alight with flames. She can practically feel herself burn where Chaewon touches her, leaving hissing scorch marks on her skin. Minju gets lost in the feeling, in the easy way their lips slot together, in the velvety warmth of Chaewon's mouth.</p><p>Chaewon kisses the corner of her lips before moving down, mouthing along her jaw and down her throat, nipping at the skin there. One of Minju's hands flies up to Chaewon's scalp almost instinctively, threading her hand through her hair.</p><p>Minju holds Chaewon that bit closer, keeps rubbing circles into her soft skin as a way to try and convince herself that this is real.</p><p>That this is actually happening.</p><p>Because kissing Chaewon is only the stuff of dreams.<br/><br/><br/></p><p>Minju thinks she's even more in love now than she was before.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bright lights shine searingly onto the stage, Minju covering her face with her arms. She squints into the beam of white, her vision of the audience morphed and distorted into a swirling pool of lead. She takes a step back to gather herself, stumbling a little. Her footsteps echo hauntingly throughout the auditorium, and she can see beady eyes the colour of freshly drawn blood glaring at her from the wings.</p><p>Minju doesn't notice the piano until it reaches higher notes, and for a moment she thinks she can grasp a sense of familiarity. For a split second, it sounds just like the infamous tune of The Dance of The Sugarplum Fairy.</p><p>But there's something warped about it. Something twisted.</p><p>There's a fault in the melody.</p><p>It's like someone had taken the beautiful notes and shattered them over their knee, only to attempt to patch them back up again with sellotape. It had regained its usual form, yes, but something was disturbingly wrong.</p><p>The music drops, a note so low Minju barely registers it. It jolts her, pushes her to the ground with so much force that the ground seems to swallow her whole. It's something she only assumes the force of the impact made her feel until she starts melting through the ground, the entire auditorium melting into candle wax as a Minju falls through.</p><p>The same, familiar yet nightmarish tune rings in Minju's ear as she falls through the stage. It's not solid anymore, more of a thick liquid, and it's not long before she comes out the other side.</p><p>It's the same auditorium, but- she's upside down.</p><p>She's hung upside down yet stood on the stage, arms hung limply by her sides, the audience like one shifting, snarling monstrosity ready to tear her to pieces at her slightest hesitation.</p><p>Minju peers up at the floor, sees her hair dangling above her head as she tries to take a step. Although she's nauseous, although her stomach is trying to force its way up her throat, there's hisses and spitting from the stage, taunting her and jeering her. <em>You have to dance.</em></p><p>Her limbs twitch as Minju tries do something- anything, but she can barely take two steps without getting vertigo. The stage seems to swim around her, and the room tosses and turns and folds itself inside out and back again. It churns violently, Minju falling onto the ceiling with pain shooting up her spine, before being spat back onto the stage again. She blinks drearily, feels the hard ground pressing against her back, and a dull throb pulsing through her head.</p><p>"Flower,"</p><p>Minju feels stinging behind her eyelids as she looks out the faceless audience. It's empty, the chairs vacated and dark, all but one.</p><p>Chaewon stands on one of the seats in the centre, her face darkened and almost unrecognisable with the persistent lights shining on Minju's face.</p><p>"Flower," she repeats, and while her face is dull, her eyes dart around the room anxiously.</p><p>Chaewon can't see her.</p><p>Minju feels panic bubble inside he throat like bile, doesn't notice that she's screaming until her brain registers that no sound is coming out. She screams and yells Chaewon's name until her vocal chords ache, but not even so much as a single word seems to fall from her lips.</p><p>"Flower," Chaewon sounds far away. "I don't want to go. Don't make me go,"</p><p>"Then don't!" Minju screams, but Chaewon hears nothing. <em>She </em>hears nothing. "You don't have to go!"</p><p>Chaewon only nods to herself, a neutral yet... peaceful expression on her face. "I'm going to die now,"</p><p>Time seems to slow, Minju feeling like she's coated in glue as Chaewon raises a hand, movements drawn out, raising her hand up to her face. She blinks at it for a moment, and Minju holds her breath.</p><p>Excruciatingly slow, Chaewon begins to open her mouth, wide, wide, <em>wider </em>than Minju would've deemed possible, lips stretching out as far as her ears, before plunging her fist down her throat.</p><p>Minju screams at her until her throat burns as Chaewon only shoves her arm further down her throat, elbow twisted unnaturally and half of her forearm invisible. Minju tries to run to her, tries to get away from this god forsaken stage with lights that lick at her skin like fire, but she's stopped. She's stopped by curling ropes that bind their way around her skin, slicing at the flesh whilst endless, soundless screams pour from Minju's lips. She balls her fists and tugs, but to no avail.</p><p>Chaewon stumbles in front of her seat, her arm in as far as her elbow before she stops. There's blood pouring from her eyes and into her gaping mouth, bursting from her eardrums and painting her skin the coloured of grime coated garnets. Yellow tinged froth bubbles and gargles past her lips as she begins to retract her hand at a snail's pace, and it's when her wrist finally becomes visible that Minju registers that something is <em>very </em>wrong.</p><p>Chaewon's hand is gripping onto something tight. And that something is another hand.</p><p>A hand, an entire arm, is what Chaewon pulls out of her mouth, coated in that same froth and glistening with her saliva.</p><p>More arms, identical to the one reaching out from Chaewon's mouth, emerge from the dark, hovering silently, like they're waiting for something. Minju wants to shut her eyes but she <em>can't, </em>her head being held rigid by- by something, forcing her to watch as Chaewon writhes and spasms, yet somehow manages to stay on her feet.</p><p>The blood from Chaewon's ears trickles down the tired rows of seats, staining them a darker red as it runs a stream downwards before reaching the stage, pooling at Minju's bare feet. It's sickeningly warm.</p><p>For the first time that night, Chaewon's eyes meets Minju's, and- and Minju's never felt so fucking <em>helpless.</em></p><p>Because Chaewon, all with just one look, gets down on her knees and fucking <em>begs, </em>she <em>pleads </em>for Minju to help her, searching for any kind of safety and if Minju could she'd scream until she passed out saying <em>"fuck, I'm trying! Please believe me, I'm trying!"</em></p><p>Chaewon doesn't believe her.</p><p>She shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut, a hand flying up to dig her nails into her scalp.</p><p>The same familiar chorus returns as the hand coming from Chaewon's mouth reaches down and roughly grasps at her neck, making Chaewon's screams pierce the terrifying melody. The other arms surge forwards simultaneously and grab at whatever part of Chaewon they can reach, tugging harshly at her waist, clamping their palms over her face and tearing her clothing with their blunt, bitten nails.</p><p>Vomit trickles past Minju's lips, barely noticing the red tint to it as it drips into the blood pooling at her feet.</p><p>She doesn't get to see what happens next.</p><p>Because a thick grey veil falls in front of stage, and Minju has to leave with nothing other than the sounds of Chaewon's screams for help lingering in her ears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I'm fucking begging you, don't make me go,"</p><p>Minju wakes up in a cold sweat, rain panging bluntly on the windowpanes, and Chaewon sitting at the end of her bed. Her back is to Minju, phone held up to her ear as she drags a hand through her hair.</p><p>"Sir, <em>please, </em>you know I-"</p><p>Minju freezes, breath held.</p><p>"I thought you just wanted me all to yourself, hm?" Chaewon's voice drops to something smooth, velvety, but there's an underlying desperation to her words. "You can be greedy for me, you know,"</p><p>There's talk on the other end of the line, gruff and short.</p><p>"I know that!" Chaewon hisses. "But you know the last time I set foot in a place like-"</p><p>She's cut off, and Minju sees her muscles tense beneath her skin as she listens.</p><p>"Fine," she mutters, and the other voice speaks, angrier this time.</p><p>Chaewon sighs quietly, before responding. "Yes sir,"</p><p>More talk.</p><p>"No sir,"</p><p>The other voice on the phone rambles again, oblivious to Chaewon's whisper of "three fucking bags full, sir," under her breath.</p><p>Minju can hear her swallowing before saying goodbye with a strained "I love you," before ending the call.</p><p>Minju shuts her eyes instantly, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, prebtending to be asleep. She hears Chaewon shifting, hears her coming closer, before her breath fans out against Minju's cheeks. A chaste kiss is pressed to her forehead, and Minju's sure a blush spreads across her cheeks like wildfire.</p><p> </p><p>Minju pretends not to notice the sounds of her throwing up in the bathroom just after that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Unknowingly, Minju falls back asleep, and doesn't wake up again until she hears Chaewon's whisper in her ear.</p><p>"Min,"</p><p>"Mmh,"</p><p>"Your phone. It's ringing,"</p><p>Minju groans, a bit over dramatic, reaching out blindly in the general direction of her bedside table, before closing her fingers around her phone. She doesn't even bother to check who's ringing before she brings it up to her ear. "Hey,"</p><p>"Minju! Where are you?" Yuri's voice squawks through the speaker, causing Minju to wince at the loud volume.</p><p>"What the fuck is your deal? I'm in bed,"</p><p>"Minju, it's half eight!"</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"It's Monday! I'm at the station, where the hell are you?"</p><p>Minju's eyes widen comically, and she can feel Chaewon's curious gaze on her. She always meets Yuri at half eight by the train station so that they can catch the tram together to school, but, clearly Minju had just forgotten.</p><p><em>Who the fuck forgets they have school? </em>She scolds herself, throwing off the covers and stumbling to her feet. "Listen, you go on, yeah? I'll uh, I'll figure something out, ok?"</p><p>Minju can hear the smile in Yuri's tone. "Minju, you're such an idiot,"</p><p>"I know, I know," Minju lets a smile of her own creep onto her lips. "I'll see you in a bit, okay?"</p><p>"See you,"</p><p>"Bye, bye,"</p><p>Minju puts down her phone and hurries towards her wardrobe, leafing through her clothes for her school uniform. Of course, it probably isn't washed, or ironed, but desperate times call for desperate measures.</p><p>"What's going on?" Chaewon asks gently from Minju's bed, sitting up sleepily and rubbing at her eyes. Minju feels her heart flip inside her chest remembering her phone call from earlier this morning, the sounds of her getting sick in the bathroom.</p><p>
  <em>Don't make me go.</em>
</p><p>"Flower? Hey, you with me?"</p><p>Minju snaps out of it, blinking a couple times before finally finding her uniform and taking it out. "I forgot I had school today," she sighs. "And now I'm later than late. I'm usually on the tram with Yuri right now,"</p><p>"So?"</p><p>Minju turns around, looking at her incredulously. "So now I'm not gonna get to school on time,"</p><p>Chaewon scoffs, stretching lethargically. "Don't be ridiculous," her voice is laced with sleep. "I'll give you a lift,"</p><p>Minju blinks at her. "Wait, like, seriously?"</p><p>Chaewon nods, throwing off the covers. "Sure thing. The college isn't that far a walk from here, right? I'll get my car, swing back 'round here and we're all set,"</p><p>Minju sighs, but with happiness. "You're actually a life saver, thank you so much,"</p><p>"Yeah yeah, whatever," Chaewon waves her off. "Just keep getting ready and I'll be back soon,"</p><p>Minju nods, making her way towards the bathroom before Chaewon speaks up. "Flower?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"You know you could just get changed in here right?"</p><p>Minju glares at her, opening the door after flipping her off, leaving the room and Chaewon's laughter behind her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju hears Chaewon's car before she sees it.</p><p>The engine revs up the street just as Minju's locking the front door, her bag thrown hastily onto one of her shoulders. Chaewon pulls up just opposite her house, and Minju hears the window being rolled down and a low whistle escaping her lips.</p><p>Minju frowns as she walks towards the car. "What?"</p><p>Chaewon gives her a knowing look. "Didn't realise it was part of the dress code for your skirt to be so short," her eyes drag down to the mentioned piece of clothing, lingering obviously as Minju splutters.</p><p>"You bitch," she hisses, getting into the passenger seat. "You're one to talk anyway,"</p><p>"I'm a grown up, flower," Chaewon can't stop herself from grinning, and Minju just rolls her eyes. "I can wear what I like,"</p><p>"We're both eighteen, you know,"</p><p>"Yeah, but I'm basically nineteen,"</p><p>"Fine then," Minju straps herself into the seat of the car, getting comfortable in the white leather seat. "You won't be seeing me in any short skirts after this if you don't like them. Fine by me,"</p><p>Chaewon's eyes widen comically, turning around in her seat. "You'll do no such thing,"</p><p>Minju gives her a playful shove in the shoulder, before leaning back and crossing her arms. "Shut your mouth and get driving. I'm late enough as it is,"</p><p>Chaewon just hums, sarcasm laced into her tone, as she brings down the sunglasses resting on her forehead over her eyes. "Well, just cuz you said that..." she analyses her reflection in the rear view mirror, tousling her hair languidly. "I'm gonna take my sweet time," she shifts the gears, placing a hand on the wheel. She starts to drive, not nearly as slow as she'd promised</p><p>"I've never been in a Tesla before," Minju admits as smooths her hands over her seat, gazing around in somewhat awe. The interior is nothing less than pristine; having that fresh, new-car smell. The control panel is situated on a polished sheen of dark wood, a large screen in the centre, and an expensive looking necklace dangling from the rear view mirror. "I mean like, this is crazy. My parents share a Nissan Micra for god's sake,"</p><p>Chaewon hums, and Minju looks at her, like properly looks at her, for the first time that morning. There's something about it, the way the rising sun makes her features even sharper, the way she's got one hand on the wheel and one in her hair like driving this thing is fucking nothing. Something about it paired with her cocky attitude that makes Minju feel feint.</p><p>She's sure that if she took those sunglasses off though, if she could just take a glance at her eyes, it'd be a different story.</p><p>"You like it?" Chaewon asks, eyebrow raised with a smirk, and <em>shit, </em>she's good at putting up an act.</p><p>"Yeah," she responds, thinking for a moment before deciding to speak up again. "You know, I had a dream about you last night,"</p><p>"Oh yeah?"</p><p>Minju nods. "It was- I mean, more on the nightmarish side, I guess?"</p><p>"What happened?" Chaewon asks, stopping at a red light and turning to face her.</p><p>Minju shrugs. "You kept saying the same thing over and over. <em>Don't make me go,"</em></p><p>She looks at Chaewon for a reaction. For a moment, she sees the way her muscles tense beneath her skin, sees the way her jaw goes rigid as if she's clenching her teeth too hard. But, the look is gone as soon as it arrives, and Chaewon covers it up with an easy smile. "Go where, huh?" She moves the car forward again once the light goes green. "You tryna get rid of me, flower?"</p><p>Minju shrugs. "I don't know, just made me worried, I guess," she looks down at her lap, playing with her fingers. "Woke up thinking someone was tryna take you away,"</p><p>There's a tense silence, Minju's words hanging ominously over their heads like a dark cloud. The low rumbling sounds of the engine and the gritting of the tires on the road are the only noises that fill the silence.</p><p>"Even if someone were to try and take me away," Chaewon speaks up after a while, hand gripping the wheel so tight that her knuckles go white. Her voice is quiet. "I wouldn't go anywhere."</p><p>
  <em>You're a liar.</em>
</p><p>They talk with easy conversation after that, Chaewon seeming to want to move away from Minju's dream as fast as possible. She entertains her with a rushed story about how Yuki managed to escape from her dorm room and had found refuge in the girl's showers, unbeknownst to her until there'd been screams from the cubicle next to hers when she'd been showering the previous morning. Minju laughs and nods at all the right times, but just can't shake that feeling.</p><p>It's not long before they reach they school, in comfortable time just as Chaewon had promised.  There's still students walking up from the road, groups of friends hanging around outside to bask in the morning sunlight before their first class.</p><p>Chaewon pulls up at the drop off area right outside the entrance, throwing Minju a sly grin. "So is this the part where I pull a mom move and get out of the car to embarrass you?"</p><p>Minju shrugs, tugging her schoolbag onto her shoulder. "Do what you like, but just know that the boys here can smell an older girl a mile away. Get outta this thing and you won't be getting back in for a long time,"</p><p>Chaewon laughs at that. "I'll stick to staying in here then. Try not to die in there, yeah?" She tilts her head in the direction of the school building. "Text me and we can do something, you know, whenever,"</p><p>Minju nods, opening the door and beginning to clamber out. "Thanks again for the lift. I would've been in so much shit, so, yeah. Thanks,"</p><p>Chaewon waves her off. "It's no problem. I'll see you later, yeah?"</p><p>Minju gives her a wave, shutting the door behind her. She turns around to see Yuri waiting at her by the entrance. They lock eyes, and an odd mixture of relief and confusion passes over Yuri's face.</p><p>"Flower!"</p><p>Minju turns around, and sees that Chaewon's rolled down the window of the passenger seat. She walks back over, hovering in front of the door. "Is everything alright?" She asks, face etched with concern.</p><p>Chaewon's eyes flicker over Minju's shoulder for a second, before looking back at her again. She jerks her head to the side. "C'mere for a sec,"</p><p>Minju frowns to herself, but opens the car door. She leans forward, and barely has time to breathe even a single word before Chaewon's grabbing her shirt collar and tugging her across the centre console to kiss her. It's nothing like last night, it's quick and it's chaste, but it's enough to have Minju gasping against her lips.</p><p>Chaewon smiles at the sound, pulling away enough so that her lips still brush against Minju's when she speaks. "Don't freak out," she murmurs, running her thumb along Minju's collar. "But there's a mark on your neck that fits my lips perfectly,"</p><p>Minju gasps loudly, so loud that she whacks her head off of the roof of the car with her sudden movement. She vaguely registers that Chaewon's laughing at her loudly, but all she focuses on is turning the rear view mirror to face her and hope to all the gods she doesn't believe in that Chaewon is joking. Yet, low and behold, there's red and purple blooming on the right side of her neck, right where Chaewon had been kissing the pale skin.</p><p>"Are you fucking kidding me?" She exclaims, analysing her reflection in the mirror. "Do you realise how much shit I'm gonna get for this?"</p><p>Chaewon looks like she's trying her best not to laugh. "I really am sorry," she apologises. "I swear I had no idea," she reaches out, grazing her thumb over the bruising patch of skin. Her voice drops to something velvety. "Looks pretty on you though,"</p><p>Minju shoves her hand away, trying her best to put up an act of looking annoyed. "Fuck you," she mumbles. "I'm actually so angry at you right now,"</p><p>"You don't look like it though, flower. You like it, don't you?"</p><p>Minju's face burns. "Ok, you know what, whatever, I'm leaving," she begins to climb out of the car, making sure her hair is draped over her shoulders before she does so. "If I get into trouble then all the blames gonna be on you,"</p><p>Chaewon just grins at her brightly. "You'll say hi to Yuri for me, won't you?"</p><p>Minju closes the door without giving and answer, flipping Chaewon off through the glass window before stalking off. She hears the car driving away after a couple moments, and checks behind her just to make sure Chaewon's gone, before bringing a hand up to her neck and letting her fingers brush over the skin gently.</p><p>She looks up and locks eyes with Yuri, who's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, lips tugged into a smirk and an eyebrow raised.</p><p>Minju sighs to herself, subconsciously bringing her hair over her shoulder again.</p><p>She's got a lot of explaining to do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yuri whistles lowly as Minju approaches, pushing herself off the wall with a languid smile curling on her lips.</p><p>Minju glares at her half heartedly. "Not a motherfucking word," she hisses, taking ahold of Yuri's arm and dragging her inside the school building.</p><p>"I haven't even said anything yet!" Yuri exclaims with a laugh.</p><p>"I can practically see the gears whirring inside your head,"</p><p>"Strange analogy but ok,"</p><p>"Oh my god just- shut it for like, two seconds?"</p><p>"Not until I get an explanation,"</p><p>For a few moments, Minju thinks that she might be able to squirm her way out of the situation. They walk up the stairs to approach their locker area, the corridors relatively quiet compared to the busier times in the morning. "I don't know what you're talking about,"</p><p>Yuri snorts. "Ok first of all, that's bullshit,"</p><p>Minju deflates slightly. It had been worth a shot.</p><p>"Secondly, you never get lifts to school, much less in a fucking <em>Tesla, </em>Minju. And thirdly, you just kissed Kim Chaewon in said Tesla and as your bestest girl, I deserve to know the details,"</p><p>Minju's eyes widen at her blunt phrasing, briefly looking around to see if anyone had heard. "Ok, ok, I'll tell you, but was it necessary to be so fucking obvious?"</p><p>Yuri shrugs as Minju opens up her locker, leafing through her books and exchanging some for others. "Desperate times call for desperate measures. So c'mon, tell me what happened,"</p><p>Minju lets out a sigh, brushing her hair back from her shoulders. "So she called me really late last night, like gone midnight, because she wanted to get food with me,"</p><p>"And your whipped ass agreed,"</p><p>"You wanted me to tell my story, and now you're telling it for me, make up your mind!"</p><p>"Ok, ok sorry, continue,"</p><p>"</p><p>So yeah, we went and got food," Minju purposefully leaves out all the details about Songmin and the group of druggies who'd mockingly catcalled Chaewon, sure that she can spare Yuri the details. "And then after that we went back to my place, just cuz it was close," she analyses Yuri's expression, who's eyes have gone wide inside her head. "I mean... nothing crazy happened. Sort of,”</p><p> </p><p>  “Sort of?” Yuri squawks, watching as Minju shuts the door of her locker before shouldering her school bag once more. They begin to walk in the direction of their first class, which, to Minju's absolute delight (read: horror) is maths. “You’re telling me every detail right now,”</p><p>Minju presses her lips together to try and contain a smile. "Well uh, we played video games for a while-"</p><p>"Romantic,"</p><p>"-and then she just kissed me,"</p><p>Yuri splutters, grin splitting her face. "Just- like, out of nowhere?"</p><p>Minju flushes, looking down at her shoes. "It was the right kinda mood, you know? It was dark and we were just lying on my bed and she just- yeah,"</p><p>Yuri smiles at her. "This is good though, isn't it? It's what you wanted,"</p><p>Minju allows herself to grin softly. "I suppose it is,"</p><p>"So what does it mean?"</p><p>Minju looks up at her, frowning. "What does what mean?"</p><p>Yuri gives her a funny look. "The kiss," she speaks it like it's obvious. "Are you, like, together now?"</p><p>Minju hesitates in front of the classroom door. She hasn't even thought about it yet, what that kiss meant. Chaewon hasn't acted much different after it, but, then again, neither had she. Sighing, Minju pushes open the door. There's a few students loitering around, reading at their desks or talking to one another, but nothing much.</p><p>It dawns on Minju that dating Kim Chaewon would be nearly impossible. If she's getting paid by a guy to go out with him, Chaewon going out with someone - a girl no less - on the side probably wouldn't work out.</p><p>The way Minju'd seen his tight grip on her last night was evidence enough that he wanted her to himself.</p><p>So Minju merely shrugs, walking over to her desk and letting her bag fall from her shoulder to the floor. "I don't know," she purses her lips. "We haven't talked yet,"</p><p>She sees the way Yuri deflates slightly, her shoulders drooping and her smile slipping from her lips. "Oh," is all she manages, before she seems to compose herself. "Well I mean, I'm sure it'll be fine," her tone then turns into something more playful. "Like, she apparently likes you enough to send you to school with hickeys on your neck. C'mon, Min, at least I tried to hide mine,"</p><p>Minju gasps, hand flying up to cover her neck instinctively, but letting her eyes trace Yuri's neck, which seems to be clean and bare at a first glance, but Minju can just barely see red and purple underneath a thick coat of foundation. "Yours? What're you on about? Aren't you and Yena-"</p><p>"We made up," Yuri grins proudly, folding her arms, and while she's putting up a show, Minju can hear the relief in her words. "It took a bit of time, but we were both in the wrong. Yena and I always sort things out,"</p><p>Minju reaches out and hooks a finger into Yuri's collar, moving the material down to expose a centimetre or two of the thin strip of skin that hadn't been coated in makeup. "And Yena put you through the fucking miller too, jesus," She grimaces before moving her hand away. "And like that's great and all, but I need to borrow some of that foundation, like, yesterday,"</p><p>Yuri snorts, yet opens up her bag. "Don't worry," she shuffles around inside, before pulling out a pale beige bottle and honestly, Minju could cry with happiness. "I gotcha covered,"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You've got lips like cranberry </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Dark and tantalisingly sweet.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You've got gossamer skin</em>
  <br/>
  <em>That holds a sheen of copper. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Your hair is a stream </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Of running red,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And</em>
</p><p>Minju frowns to herself, tapping her lips with the end of her pencil as she tries to come up with the next line. Every single feature of Chaewon's is running around inside her mind right now and to be completely honest, she's just trying her best not to rhyme <em>red </em>with <em>bed.</em></p><p>She flicks through the pages of her notebook absent mindedly, feeling a small burst of pride course through her at the filling pages. She's written a decent amount, at this stage, and while progress and improvement are slow, they're still evident. Minju never really finds it hard to find inspiration on what to write about, because, well, an almost embarrassing amount of the pages are filled with her thoughts about Chaewon.</p><p>Some are about ballet, some about that veil, some about how the most beautiful things are just horrors that are good at pretending otherwise. But mostly, if Minju were to count, Chaewon takes up an alarming amount of the pages.</p><p>Sighing to herself, Minju puts down her pen, rubbing at her face. It's when her pen falls onto the wood of her desk, creating a dull thud, that Minju notices how quiet the class is.</p><p>No one is speaking.</p><p>Minju looks up, and sees the entire class staring at her. The teacher is poised to pounce at the top of the room, snarling lips curled and smarting eyes boring into Minju's. "How kind of you to finally join us, Ms. Kim," she drawls, thin lips smacking loudly as she speaks. "It's nice to know that it takes one four attempts at calling your name before they can have your undivided attention,"</p><p>Minju sits rigid in her seat, wanting nothing more than to just melt into a puddle and vanish from sight. She musters up the courage to stare the old bat in the eye, holding her gaze as the teacher sneers. "Do you have nothing to say? I could have you suspended for this, Kim Minju, not paying atten-"</p><p>Minju glares. "It's not that I don't have anything to say, I just don't consider brainless old hags that dress like it's the forties worth my time,"</p><p>Sharp, quiet gasps are drawn from around the classroom, and a snigger is quickly covered up by an impromptu coughing fit. The teacher's eyes go wide then, her forehead wrinkled like worn leather. "Excuse me?" She hisses, voice threateningly quiet.</p><p>Minju glowers, suddenly fuelled by the burst of energy that's burning hot through her system. "You fucking heard me," she spits, standing up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. "I don't consider you to be worth even a fucking millisecond of my time,"</p><p>"Sit back down!" The teacher shrills, red in the face as she points a quivering, knobbly finger in Minju's direction. "This instance, Kim Minju!"</p><p>Minju smirks, throwing her stuff into her bag and shouldering it. "Or what?" She taunts. "What are you gonna do, huh? Go whining to the principle? Fuck, if you think you're worth any of his time either, then you're wrong," she smiles sweetly. "Again,"</p><p>"I'll have you expelled, Kim Minju!" The teacher shrieks. "I'll never have you set foot in this building again!"</p><p>"Well, thank fuck for that," Minju begins to walk in the direction of the door. "If it means I won't have to see you again, then who's the real winner? Like, you know they make soap for vegans, right? You don't gotta abstain,"</p><p>The teacher's shoulders heave with how hard she's breathing, eyebrows pinched tightly together. "You'll never be anything, Kim Minju. Having a mouth like yours will take you nowhere but the streets,"</p><p>Minju grins at her as she steps out the door. "Well good thing that unlike you, I'm pretty street-smart," she raises her fingers in a lazy, two fingered salute. "Bye bitch,"</p><p>Before the teacher can give her any response, Minju bolts out of the room, promptly shutting the door behind her. Grinning to herself, she turns, briskly walking down the corridor and taking her phone out of her pocket. Switching it on and scrolling through her contacts, she dials one of the most recent numbers, beginning to break out into a run upon hearing the sound of a door opening not too far behind her.</p><p>Luckily, the phone is picked up quickly, just as Minju pushes the door open to go down the staircase. "Flower? Is everything ok?"</p><p>"Chaewon!" Minju exclaims, breaking out into a run, feet moving lightning quick down the steps, her bag hitting against her back with her every move. "Hey, how busy are you right now?"</p><p>"I- I'm just getting coffee. Flower- what the fuck, are you running?"</p><p>Minju laughs out loud at the absurdity of the situation, hears the sharp yell of a teacher for her to stop running not so far behind her. "I'm in the need of a getaway driver!" She explains over the loud, echoing sounds of her footsteps. She reaches the base of the stairs, pushing open the doors to run into the canteen. One of the lunch ladies looks up at her racing by, a bored expression on her face, before returning her attention to the drama playing on her phone. "So like, how fast can you get here?"</p><p>She hears Chaewon moving, hears her opening up a door to be welcomed by the sounds of tires on the road. "I mean, I'm just at the place we went to before, so it's what, a five minute drive? Two if I break the speed limit,"</p><p>Minju feels herself grin, hoisting her bag back up onto her shoulder that had been falling down her arm. "Then do that," she speaks through breathless pants. "Get here as fast as you can or else I'm dead meat,"</p><p>The promising sound of Chaewon starting up the Tesla's engine cracked through the receiver. "Flower, are you bunking off?"</p><p>"Maybe,"</p><p>Chaewon hums lowly. "That's my girl,"</p><p>Minju, in spite of everything, feels herself grow hot.</p><p>"I'll be outside at the drop off in two, yeah?" Chaewon continues, the sounds of the engine revving making Minju's heart palpitate that small bit faster. "Think you can make it there before me?"</p><p>Minju snorts. "I'm on the complete opposite side of the building but I'll still make it there with time to spare," she taunts, and <em>fuck, </em>she can practically fucking hear the languid smirk in Chaewon's words.</p><p>"I'd like to see you try, pretty," she purrs, and before Minju can retaliate, the line goes dead.</p><p>Minju's never flirted with someone while being chased by a teacher - wait, no, make that two teachers - before, but hey, there's a first time for everything.</p><p>It doesn't take long for her to reach the reception, bolting by the receptionist. "Hey!" The woman yells at her, standing up abruptly. "Students need to sign out before leaving!"</p><p>Minju only lets one side of her lips turn upwards. <em>Bite me, </em>she mouths, before turning her back and running out of the school. She can hear the loud footsteps of the two teachers ricocheting from inside, though it's nowhere near as deafening as the sound of Chaewon's engine racing up the road. She screeches to a halt just outside the school's entrance, window's down and her hair windswept. Her grin is maniacal as she gestures urgently for Minju to get in. "C'mon!" She yells.</p><p>Minju doesn't wait anytime before getting in, Chaewon starting to drive only as she's got one foot in. She lets out a laugh as she grips onto the roof of the car, her feet planted safely inside the vehicle, standing up and peering over the roof to look at the two teachers who burst out of the school building. They stop running once they see her in the car, and Minju gives them a wave with a smile.</p><p>"You're crazy!" Chaewon yells at her once they've rounded a corner, the teacher's out of sight. "Sit your ass down before you fall outta this thing,"</p><p>Minju does as she's told, sitting down and rubbing at her face with her hands, laughing into her palms. "Oh my god," she breathes through her giggles. "Fuck, I cannot believe I just did that. Thank you,"</p><p>Chaewon side eyes her cheekily. "They were fucking racing after you, huh? What did you do?"</p><p>"Fuck, I think I called my maths teacher every name under the fucking sun before I legged it. I'm gonna be in so much shit," she slumps in her seat, dragging the back of her palm across her forehead.</p><p>Chaewon shrugs. "Who cares. You've got an entire modelling career to fall back on, so fuck them,"</p><p>Minju giggles again. "Stop, no, don't make me laugh. I'm on an adrenaline high, feel all floaty and shit,"</p><p>Chaewon raises a brow. "Well then you can pay up bitch, cuz I was at that drop off area before you were,"</p><p>Minju makes a face. "As if. I was outside before I even fucking saw you. And as if you need the money, spare some for the broke high school student, huh?"</p><p>Chaewon hums. "Mmh, true," she drawls, seeming pleased with herself. "What did you do to get so pissed off in the first place? You're not usually the aggressive type, flower,"</p><p>
  <em>I was writing about you.</em>
</p><p>And that was really it, wasn't it? She'd been writing about Chaewon, ridiculed for it, and then she'd blown a fuse.</p><p>Yeah, no way was she letting Chaewon use that information against her in the future.</p><p>"I don't know," she shrugs. "Her existence alone is enough to piss me off, if I'm honest," she exhales slowly. "Like that was something I've been wanting to do for a long time,"</p><p>Chaewon nods. "So where to now? Your place or mine?"</p><p>Minju scrunches up her face in thought before speaking. "Yours," she finally decides. "I'd like to see Yuki again,"</p><p>Chaewon smiles softly. "Yeah," she sighs, looking out at the road. "Me too,"</p><p> </p><p>Something about her tone tells Minju that she isn't talking about her kitten.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's golden hour.</p><p>The streets are relatively quiet now that the school drop off time has passed, the powerful revving of the engine now slowed down to a gentle purr. To Minju, it looks like the entire world has been submerged into faint yellow light, softening the outlines of the tall buildings and blurring the line of the horizon.</p><p>Just when the gentle, early morning sun floods the side of the buildings, that's when Chaewon looks best, Minju decides. The light pools inside the car, soft and almost lazily, kissing the older girl's cheeks. The shadows of her features are a soft contrast to the bronzed, honey toned skin that the sun caresses, exaggerating the shadows and just making her look all the more alluring. Her eyes take on the colour too, like molten gold had been poured into her irises before cooling and hardening.</p><p>It's her <em>vibe </em>too, one hand on the wheel and large sunglasses perched daintily on her nose, a thick sheen of gloss clinging to her parted lips. The way she drags her free hand through her rosy coloured locks absent mindedly is enough to make saliva gather on Minju's tongue.</p><p>The world becomes a raging fire of colour when they get back to Chaewon's dorm; the older is leaned up against her headboard, lain on the bed while typing away at her computer. Minju's head is rested on her stomach, lying on the duvet with Yuki curled up in her arms. Minju runs the back of her knuckle repeatedly over the kitten's forehead, Yuki's eyes scrunched up in what Minju interprets as pleasure. Yuki's body thrums as she purrs, sending small vibrations into Minju's palms.</p><p>"She likes you," Chaewon comments, eyes trained on the screen, and the colours just keep on coming. "I think you're just using me to get closer to her,"</p><p>Minju nuzzles her nose into the soft white fur. "Oh no, you've foiled my plan," she drones monotonously. "I'll just have to take her away from you now,"</p><p>Chaewon snorts. "You'll do no such thing," she reaches out languidly, rubbing her thumb and forefinger together in Yuki's direction. "Yuki?" She croons. "You're a good girl, hm? C'mere,"</p><p>Yuki opens an eye curiously, analysing Chaewon's hand for a moment before squirming out of Minju's arms. She runs across the duvet excitedly, tripping over the fabric's folds in her haste. Chaewon coos as she gathers herself to her paws again before coming to rest on her shoulder, her side pressed against the pillows. Chaewon turns her head, pressing a chaste kiss to the kitten's nose before looking back to the screen.</p><p>Minju groans. "I just got played by a fucking cat,"</p><p>Chaewon keeps a bored expression on her face. "Not my problem she's loyal and you're not,"</p><p>Minju frowns to herself. "You're supposed to be on my side here,"</p><p>"I side with the law only,"</p><p>Minju snorts at that, and when she looks up, she sees a faint smile tugging at the corner of Chaewon's lips. "And what's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>Chaewon looks her in the eye then, an eyebrow raised. "Have you not met me? I'm a very law abiding person. I have great respect for the state,"</p><p>Minju rolls her eyes, turning so that she's lain on her stomach. She rests her chin in her palms. "You're <em>so</em> funny," she speaks with sarcasm on her tongue.</p><p>Chaewon straightens her face. "I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbles, shutting her laptop and placing it on her bedside table. "The law and I go hand in hand, I practically invented that bitch,"</p><p>Minju chooses not to respond, instead opting to lay her head back down on the duvet as Chaewon stands up, walking over to peer out of the window. The sun is higher in the sky by now, holding less of a yellow tone and shining more as a white light. It doesn't really matter, because Chaewon looks lovely anyway, stretching tiredly drowning in sunlight with her arms high over her head.</p><p> <em>She couldn't love you.</em></p><p>Minju feels her mouth go dry at the thought. Loving Chaewon is so <em>easy, </em>it comes like a second nature. But- but it's painful too, which Minju supposes is to keep things balanced. The universe is orderly like that; nothing can come too easy without having consequences.</p><p>Minju watches the way she moves, stretching out after laying in the same position for so long with Yuki by her feet.</p><p>Not only can she not love Minju, she probably doesn't want to.</p><p>Minju presses her lips together, looking away. She picks at a loose thread on the duvet to distract herself. Yuri told her that confronting Chaewon about them was something not to be delayed, but... but <em>God, </em>Minju is fucking terrified.</p><p>Because pretty things are just monstrosities that put up a real good show of pretending they're otherwise.</p><p>Yes, they kissed. But Chaewon was probably just fucking around with her. Shit, she probably does this all the time; being forced to be around Songmin all the time, seeking refuge in other people must be a desperation. When you kiss for money, Minju thinks that affection like that must mean nothing.</p><p>"You look like you're thinking too much, flower," Chaewon speaks from her spot by the window. It's almost like a spotlight on her, her skin practically glowing as it absorbs the sun's rays. "Try not to hurt yourself, hm?"</p><p>Minju sits up, rubbing at her eyelids drowsily. "Fuck you," is her only retaliation, voice scratchy like she'd just woken up.</p><p>Chaewon smiles at her, soft and sweet, and Minju wonders if it's how she smiles at Songmin. She pads over, Yuki following her on her small paws as Chaewon sits on the bed next to Minju. She rests her head on Minju's shoulder, sighing contently. "Somethin' on your mind?"</p><p>Chaewon is lonely, desperate for company other than the man she gets everything for in exchange to be with him. She's charming, and knows how to use her strengths to her advantage. <em>You're just a distraction.</em></p><p>"Just thinking about school," she lies, and if Chaewon notices, she doesn't make a remark. "My parents will be pissed,"</p><p>Chaewon hums. "I was gonna ask you, but I didn't want to pry," she wets her lips before continuing. "Where are your parents?"</p><p>Minju rubs her nose, unconsciously frowning to herself. "Business trips, both of them," she leans back on her palms, craning her neck to look up the light on the ceiling. "They didn't know that they were both leaving at the same time, so mom thinks dad is minding me, and vise versa,"</p><p>Minju's breath rattles when Chaewon shifts her body ever so slightly, her exhales coming out in short puffs against Minju's neck. "Don't worry about it," she murmurs, and <em>shit </em>her lips are so close to Minju's skin. "They won't be home for a while, so enjoy the liberty while you can," she closes the gap, pressing a light, chaste kiss to the prominent tendant on the side of Minju's neck. </p><p>Minju presses her lips together. It's too soft, it's too tender, and <em>fuck </em>she's falling. And it- it doesn't feel good anymore.</p><p>She looks around the room desperately, trying to find something to move Chaewon away from her. Her eyes land on her guitar propped up by her desk, and a thought comes to mind. "Hey," she exclaims, standing up abruptly. Chaewon blinks, confused, giving her a funny look. "You know, I've never heard you play the guitar before,"</p><p>Chaewon just looks at her for a moment, concern etched on her features, before blinking and nodding to herself. "Uh, yeah," she scratches the back of her neck, standing up slowly. "Yeah, I guess you haven't," she slowly walks over to it, picking it up by the neck and balancing the body on her knee. She sits back down on the bed, Minju doing the same. Chaewon fiddles with the strings and the keys, testing out how they sound and tuning them accordingly. She's cute, Minju thinks, her eyebrows furrowed together in concentration, yet seeming more at ease with the instrument in her lap. Her fingers brush over the strings delicately, like they'd break if she plucked them too hard.</p><p>
  <em>The same way she touches me.</em>
</p><p>Minju swallows down her thoughts when Chaewon looks up from the fretboard, both of them locking eyes. The atmosphere isn't awkward, Minju wouldn't call it that, it's never awkward. It's like Chaewon knows that Minju thinks something isn't right, but since Minju isn't telling her anything, she can't do anything about it. They look at each other, for a moment, eyes analysing eyes, and Minju can only worry at her lower lip.</p><p>Chaewon's eyes follow the moment, before scoffing softly to herself. "Don't bite your lip like that," she chides gently, no malice in her words. "Makes you give off a vibe that I don't think you're really going for," her lips curl upwards slightly to let Minju know she's kidding, and Minju lets herself relax.</p><p><em>Who cares if she doesn't love you. </em>She rests her head on Chaewon's shoulder. <em>You get to spend time with her, so who cares.</em></p><p>She looks up at Chaewon, smiling. "So are you gonna play or what?"</p><p>Chaewon hums as a response. "Well what do you wanna hear?"</p><p>"I don't care," Minju breathes, letting her eyes fall shut. She presses herself that bit closer to Chaewon. "Whatever you like best,"</p><p>There's silence for a few beats of Minju's heart, before she feels Chaewon shake her head. "You're a weird one, flower,"</p><p>Minju doesn't have time to question what she means because Chaewon's already started strumming, the guitar not too loud, but loud enough to fill the room. Chaewon plays gently, her fingers shifting along the fret board with practised ease as her eyes dart from it to the plectrum gripped between her thumb and forefinger. The notes she strums are contrasting, some high and some low, and they all play out into this beautiful, timeless melody that's got Minju enraptured.</p><p>And then, Chaewon begins to sing.</p><p>Minju doesn't really know how to describe it. Chaewon's always had a nice voice, something that reminds you of the sound of champagne being poured, or chocolate being drizzled onto your tongue, but <em>shit. </em>Shit, that just doesn't compare to her singing voice. It's high, higher than Minju would've thought, high and melodic and sweet and intoxicating. Her tone glides over each of the notes effortlessly, like singing them is just as easy as it is speaking.</p><p>She knows how to pare her tone with the guitar, both of them going so seamlessly together you'd think the sound was coming from one instrument. She enunciates each word softly, treating it with care, knowing that each syllable that comes out of her mouth is just as important as the last.</p><p>She's singing in a different language, something that Minju is familiar with but doesn't understand.</p><p>And Chaewon is consistent in the way that she doesn't waver, or stumble, she just keeps singing with silk on her tongue. It's like Minju could just close her eyes and imagine herself in a lush, green field, fluffy clouds above her head and emerald blades of grass brushing against her knees. Even though it's past midday, it's like Chaewon is swimming in sunlight again, skin aglow and lips holding a pale pink shade. She's like an entire palette of colours.</p><p>She's so engrossed that she almost doesn't even notice when Chaewon stops playing. Her hands linger over the strings, her fingers still holding onto the last chord like she doesn't want to let go. She stares at the guitar, for a moment, lips pressed together, and it's so, so quiet.</p><p>Minju lets the silence linger for a minute, letting Chaewon gather her thoughts before speaking. "You're really good," she whispers, and a shudder runs down Chaewon's spine. She won't look at Minju, eyes just trained downwards. "What's that song called?"</p><p>Chaewon doesn't answer. She swallows.</p><p>Minju frowns, leaning forward and taking her head off of her shoulder to get a better look at her face. "Hey," she places a hand on her back. "You ok?"</p><p>Chaewon swallows again, eyes darting all over the floor. She takes in a shaky breath before speaking. "Yuki," she barely talks above a breath.</p><p>Minju picks up on what she wants, standing up and scooping up the kitten into her arms. She walks back over, Chaewon looking at Yuki with outstretched arms. She takes her from Minju, burying her nose into her fur and inhaling deeply. Minju sees her batting her eyes furiously, damp droplets clinging to her lashes.</p><p>She's crying.</p><p>"Hey, hey," Minju feels panic rise inside her, yet tries to keep her voice soft, crouching down in front of her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make-"</p><p>"No," Chaewon shakes her head furiously. "No, I-" her voice is muffled. "-I haven't sung for anyone else since- since Tokyo,"</p><p>Minju feels the realisation dawn on her slowly, picking up on what Chaewon is speaking about. That whole time, she'd been singing in Japanese. "You don't have to talk-"</p><p>"She taught me that song," Chaewon's tone sounds forced, like she's trying to hard to get the words out of her throat. But still, so quiet. "I haven't sung it for anyone other than her,"</p><p>Minju draws her lips into a tight line, hesitating before placing a hand on her shoulder. She doesn't do anything other than that, letting Chaewon know that she's there as she muffles her sobs with Yuki's fur.</p><p>
  <em>I haven't sung it for anyone other than her.</em>
</p><p>Chaewon reaches out blindly, and Minju gets the message, entwining their fingers together loosely.</p><p><em>Maybe, </em>Minju thinks. <em>Maybe she really cares. Maybe I'm not just a distraction. Maybe she sees me differently.</em></p><p>Chaewon grips her hand a little tighter.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe she could love me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju doesn't really know when, but at some point, she and Chaewon fell asleep during the afternoon. Maybe it was because Chaewon wanted an excuse to keep her eyes closed, or because Minju was drained after using all of her energy that morning, but either way, they fall asleep.</p><p>It's a light sleep, Minju waking up at intermittent intervals because of Chaewon's sniffing, or a quiet sneeze during her slumber. They both wake up fully, however, when Chaewon's phone begins to <em>ping </em>relentlessly, text message after text message coming through.</p><p>Minju sits up, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "You not gonna answer that?" She speaks through a yawn, tousling her hair.</p><p>Chaewon reaches out, putting the phone on silent before standing up. "It's probably just Songmin," she mumbles, scratching her stomach. "I don't know how he expects me to answer so early in the morning,"</p><p>Minju smiles to herself. "It's just gone midday, actually,"</p><p>Chaewon rolls her eyes. "Details,"</p><p>Minju lets out a croaky breath of laughter, before dragging her tongue along the back of her teeth, smacking her lips. "My mouth always tastes like shit after I sleep," she announces to no one in particular. "You got any mouthwash?"</p><p>Chaewon nods her head in the direction of the bathroom, sitting back down on the covers with a packet of crisps in her hold. "In the cupboard above the sink. Spearmint because I'm not a little bitch,"</p><p>Minju grins as she heads in the direction of the bathroom. "Noted," she nods, before stepping inside and closing the door behind her. She opens up the cupboard above the sink, a large bottle of mint green liquid on the second shelf. Minju hums to herself victoriously, taking it down and pouring a small amount of mouthwash into the lid. She takes it into her mouth and swishes it around, and is just about to close the cupboard door before something catches her eye.</p><p>On the first shelf, right in Minju's eye line, are three, small capsules.</p><p>Minju squints at them, analysing the labels with narrowed eyes, the writing on the front barely big enough for her to read. There's an array of warnings on the back of each of them, the list of side effects seeming to do more than their actual intended purpose.</p><p>And then, her stomach drops.</p><p>They're antidepressants.</p><p>Minju does nothing but stare at the tiny capsules, looking at them as if they were about to come alive and assault her at any moment.</p><p>Maybe Minju should've seen it coming. It saddens her that apart from the initial shock, she's really not all that surprised.</p><p>Guilt courses it's way through her system like a cold breath of air, gingerly spitting the mouthwash back into the sink before taking a step away. She lets her eyes linger on the pills a couple moments more before stepping back into Chaewon's room and-</p><p>Chaewon is sat on her bed, reading from a notebook that's perched on her lap. Her eyes trace over the words intently, fingers flicking lazily at the corners of the pages.</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>Chaewon flinches, looking up at her in surprise. She slowly puts down whatever she's holding while keeping eye contact, though Minju sees her waver slightly. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"</p><p>Minju feels her heart stop inside her chest. "Did you-" she blinks, feeling anger beginning to simmer low in her stomach. "Did you go through my notebook?"</p><p>Chaewon stands up, holding up her palms. "Flower, look, your bag was open-"</p><p>Minju feels her heart hammer wildly in her chest, able to feel it at the base of her throat. The anger in her stomach goes from a low simmer to a boil, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts because <em>fuck, </em>everything she feels are on those pages.</p><p>Everything she feels about <em>Chaewon </em>is on those pages.</p><p>"So what?" She exclaims. "So you looked through all my stuff?"</p><p>Chaewon seems taken aback by the level of her voice, seeming to shrink in on herself unknowingly. "I- I was just curious," she mumbles, looking away. "I didn't think you'd be so caught up about it,"</p><p>Minju looks at her incredulously. "Are you fucking with me? Writing is my <em>outlet</em>, everything that matters to me is written on those pages,"</p><p>"Ok, Jesus Christ, just calm the fuck down-"</p><p>Minju balls her fists, because she knows, doesn't she? The truth is there, lying bare and inviting between them, and Chaewon's not even so much as looking at it. "You know what, no, you can't tell me what to do, I'm not just gonna be another distraction,"</p><p>Chaewon scoffs, and even she seems to be growing more and more annoyed. "A distraction? Flower- are you listening to yourself?"</p><p>"Yeah!" Minju yells. "I fucking am, actually! All you do is use people for your own benefit, you've treated me no different than you treat Songmin!"</p><p>Chaewon glares at her, and if Minju wasn't so caught up in the panic that <em>fuck, </em>she <em>knows, </em>she probably would've noticed the way Chaewon's hands were shaking. "What the fuck is wrong with you, what had he got to do with- with <em>any </em>of this? Do you really think I treat you and- and <em>him</em> the same? Are you fucking with me?"</p><p>Minju looks away, crossing her arms. "That's exactly what I mean! That's all you see anyone as, you use people just so that you can get what you want!"</p><p>"You fucking shut it!"</p><p>"And you wanna know why? You know why?"</p><p>"I told you to shut up!"</p><p>"That's all you're good for, Chaewon! You're just a fucking whore!"</p><p>Minju's words seem to echo around Chaewon's dorm room, neither of them speaking a word.</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>Chaewon's eyes soften, and she digs her teeth into her bottom lip. She doesn't look at Minju.</p><p>Minju sighs, dragging a hand through her hair. "Fuck, Chaewon-"</p><p>"No, no. You're right," Chaewon nods to herself, eyes on the ground. "I'm just a whore. Just a whore,"</p><p>Minju shakes her head, trying to reach out to her. "No, no, I wasn't thinking straight-"</p><p>Chaewon shakes her hair out of her eyes, and their gazes lock again. "Girls like you aren't supposed to fall in love with whores, <em>flower," </em>her tone drips with honey, toxic and overpowering. "Yet here you are,"</p><p>Minju's hand stops in mid air, her breath getting caught in her lungs and her exhales unnaturally short. Chaewon stares her down, head tilted, her face blank. Minju opens her mouth to speak but no sound comes out, taking a step back as Chaewon takes one forward.</p><p>Chaewon smiles then, overly sweet, and she's- she's so gorgeous, even now. "You fell in love with me, didn't you flower?"</p><p>Minju swallows, but her mouth is dry, like someone had been dragging sandpaper up and down her tongue. "I- I don't-"</p><p>Chaewon hums lowly, unintentionally melodic. She takes another step forward. "No, I think you know full well what I'm talking about," her tone is low now, chocolatey and rich. She comes forward, so dangerously close that she and Minju are practically nose to nose. "You held me so <em>tight </em>when you kissed me, you know that?"</p><p>Minju takes another step back, her back coming into contact with the wall behind her. Despite Chaewon being shorter than her, the older girl seems to tower over Minju, tongue pinched between her teeth as she smiles languidly. "Chaewon-"</p><p>Chaewon crowds her up against the wall, eyes gleaming mercilessly. "Bet you loved being all marked up, hm? Cuz you knew that it was me that did that, knew that it was my lips on your skin,"</p><p>"Ch-Chaewon, stop," Minju tries to keep her tone authoritative, but it just comes off as shaky and unsure.</p><p>"Mmm, but you don't really look like you want me to," she traces her finger along Minju's jawline slowly, her other hand trailing down to hold her waist. There's something so sick about the way she's touching her, and Minju hates herself for craving more of it. "I think there's been some miscommunication here, flower," she tilts Minju's chin up so that she's looking at her dead in the eyes, moving her hands away. "I don't love you,"</p><p>And Minju doesn't have it in her to be angry at her, because all along, she knew. She knew that there was no way. No, she only feels angry at herself, angry that she'd even allowed herself to think that maybe, just maybe, they'd had a chance.</p><p>"I've put in so much fucking time into what I do so that I can even have a- have even just a <em>chance</em> at a future in music. I've gone through shit that your brain can't even fucking imagine, so did you honestly think that I'd throw it all away to get with some kid?" Chaewon tries to look her in the eyes, but Minju's hung her head low at this stage, her hair acting like a veil to cover her face while she stares down at her shoes. "That's just fucking selfish, flower,"</p><p>Minju squeezes her eyes shut, hot tears gathering behind her eyelids and <em>fuck, </em>she just really wants Chaewon to stop calling her that. The older girl reaches out again to touch her shoulder, but Minju shoves her hand away before she can. She begins to walk away, her head hanging low as she wipes furiously at her eyes.</p><p>Chaewon scoffs behind her, a harsh, teasing lilt to her voice. "So that's it? You're just gonna leave?"</p><p>Minju ignores her, walking over to her bag and stuffing her books in before zipping it up. Her shaking fingers close around her poetry notebook slowly, only able to imagine what could've happened if she'd just left it at home. It's open on a page in which she'd written about Chaewon, obvious in the way she describes her physical features.</p><p>"Have you got nothing to say?"</p><p>Gritting her teeth, Minju tears out the page, standing up and crumpling the piece of writing into a ball. She raises her eyelids to meet Chaewon's, and Minju sees her waver slightly at the sight of her tears. She throws the paper to Chaewon's feet, hot, angry tears now pouring freely from her eyes. "Fuck you," she hisses, knowing that if she spoke normally her voice would just break. Shouldering her bag, Minju turns to leave, striding towards the door before her conscience can convince her otherwise.</p><p>She's almost through the door when she hears footsteps behind her, so she quickly slips through the doorframe, just catching a plea of "flower, wait-" before slamming the door shut behind her.</p><p>Chaewon doesn't run after her, but Minju barely notices as she leaves the girl's dorms in a panic, making her way down the halls as she takes her phone out from her pocket. She scrolls desperately through her contacts, trying to find someone - <em>anyone </em>- to talk to. Yuri's still in school, so that immediately makes her unavailable, which leaves her with Yena. Perfect.</p><p>Minju dials her number quickly, pressing the phone close to her ear as she continues to make her way through the building. "C'mon, c'mon, <em>c'mon, </em>pick up, <em>please," </em>she mumbles under her breath like a mantra. She'd almost find comedy in the fact that this is her second time running away from someone today while calling someone to help her out, but the thought barely even crosses her mind.</p><p>Eventually, Yena picks up the phone, and Minju's never felt more relieved.</p><p>"Min! Are you not supposed to be- fuck, are you ok?"</p><p>Minju tries in vain to cover up a sob that wracks through her body, hugging her own waist as she hastily makes her way down the steps towards the building's entrance. The familiar sound of Yena's voice brings a fresh wave of tears behind her eyes, and there's so many thoughts whirling around inside her head that nothing comes from her lips other than a faint "Y-Yena,"</p><p>Yena swears under her breath, and Minju hears motion from the other side of the line. "Nice deep breaths for me, yeah?" Minju tries to do as she asks, harnessing her quick, sharp pants to become slow, controlled exhales. "Yeah, yeah that's it. You gonna tell me where you are, Minju?"</p><p>Minju presses her lips together, pushing the door open and stepping outside. "I- I'm at the college. Outside the- the girls' dorms,"</p><p>Minju hears keys unlocking a door, hears the door being shut. "Are you with Chaewon?"</p><p>Minju squeezes her eyes shut, slivers of tears slipping past her eyelashes. "I- I was," she whispers, making herself as small as possible by hunching in on herself subconsciously, wanting nothing more than to just disappear into the ground.</p><p>"Shit, Min," Yena sighs in sympathy, Minju hearing the sound of her car starting up. "Just stay where you are, yeah? I'll come pick you up. You want me to stay on the line?"</p><p>"Please," Minju responds feebly, sitting down on one of the steps by the entrance. She hears Yena talking to her after that, probably trying to keep her distracted, but Minju hears none of it.</p><p>There's only one thing on her mind, and it's slowly consuming her from the inside out.</p><p>
  <em>I don't love you.</em>
</p><p>Minju doesn't stop herself from crying after that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So," Yena begins, placing two mugs of tea on the coffee table, before sitting down on the armrest. "Tell me what happened,"</p><p>Minju heaves a sigh, looking down at her palms. There's so much swimming around inside her head, from her running away from school, to the pills, to Chaewon reading what she's written about her, to her calling Chaewon a whore, to the big bottom line of <em>I don't love you. </em>She rubs at her face, cheeks sticky with dried tears. "We- we had an argument, Chaewon and I," she explains, voice wavering a little. "And it started because she- well I mean, it sounds dumb, but I've got this- this notebook, yeah? And I write in it from time to time, like, I don't know, poetry or whatever, and lots of those things were about her,"</p><p>Yena nods her head slowly. "Do you like her? Chaewon, I mean,"</p><p>Minju worries at her lower lip. "It took me a while to realise it but..." she sighs quietly. "But yeah. I do,"</p><p>Yena hums in understanding, taking her mug into both of her hands and taking a tentative sip. "So you were afraid that she'd be able to see how you felt through what you'd written,"</p><p>"Yeah," Minju confirms. "The notebook was in my bag, but she still went through it. I- I overreacted, but in the moment I was just so terrified that she'd found out. I-" she swallows, almost unable to repeat her own words. "I called her a whore," she can barely speak the word above a whisper.</p><p>Yena's eyes go wide, her mug almost slipping from her grasp. "Are you kidding me, Min?" She hisses. "Of all the people you pick to call a whore, you pick <em>Chaewon?" </em>She stares at her in disbelief, like she's unable to comprehend why Minju would do such a thing. If only she knew.</p><p>"I know, ok?" Minju grits out. "And it was- it was beyond wrong, I get that. But then she started acting all, like I don't know, flirtatious? But in a really sick way, like she said that when we kissed-"</p><p>Yena puts up a hand to stop her.  "Hold up," She raises an eyebrow. "You've kissed?"</p><p>Minju feels her cheeks burn. "A couple times,"</p><p>"Ok," Yena leans back in her chair. "Carry on,"</p><p>"Basically, she told me that she doesn't love me. That she wouldn't waste her time with some kid,"</p><p>Yena bobs her head slowly, and Minju can practically hear the gears whirring inside her head. "You called her a whore, yes?"</p><p>Minju winces. "Yes,"</p><p>"And it was a heat of the moment kinda thing?"</p><p>"Yeah,"</p><p>"And it was insincere?"</p><p>"Mmh,"</p><p>"Then who's to say what Chaewon said isn't the same?"</p><p>The words hang in the air after Yena speaks then, Minju only looking at her. She dwells on what Yena's said for a moment before responding. "What do you mean?"</p><p>Yena leans forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees. "You didn't mean what you said because it was a spur of the moment kinda thing. Chaewon is probably in the same boat,"</p><p>Minju crosses her arms, nibbling at her lower lip. "I don't know, Yena,"</p><p>Yena raises an eyebrow at her. "Minju, trust me, I knew Chaewon all throughout high school. She's one of the clingiest people I've ever met, she practically breathes attention. She probably fell for you the moment you stepped out onto that balcony,"</p><p>"But that's the thing! She needs attention, so what if she was just keeping me around so that she had someone to cling onto? What if she kissed me just so that she'd have someone to hold? She's lonely, Yena!"</p><p>Yena's face contorts to something sour, scrunching up her nose and placing her mug back on the table. "I know," she sighs. "She always was. We could be in a classroom full of students and she'd be staring around the room as if none of them were there. Like she wasn't even able to see anyone," she reaches out, and takes Minju's hand. "If you want to think that Chaewon only kept you around so that she wouldn't feel lonely, just know that she probably didn't mean to let you down as harshly as she did. Chaewon- I mean, she's not a bad person, Minju. If she sensed you falling for her, she wouldn't have led you on. She would've told you. I think in the heat of your argument, her not loving you was the only thing she could argue in support of herself,"</p><p>Minju grips onto Yena's hand tightly. "People can change," her voice is quiet. "You haven't seen her since graduation, and that's a long time for her to change,"</p><p>Yena tilts her head. "Do you think she's a bad person?"</p><p>Minju opens her mouth to reply, before she realises that she doesn't actually know the answer. Sure, Chaewon probably used her, she probably felt nothing other than adrenaline coursing through her veins when they kissed, but... it was the little things that made her question herself. The way Chaewon smiled at her, the way she clung onto her arm whenever she laughed at something. The way she gripped onto her hand when they ran away from those druggies by the riverside, the way she'd played guitar for her. The way she'd told Minju about Japan.</p><p>Minju, for the second time, parts her lips to respond, but not before the front door of Yena's flat is opened. "Yena? Oh my god, you will not believe what-"</p><p>Yuri steps into the living room, eyes going wide at the sight of Minju sitting on the couch. Her gaze darts as quick as light to where Minju's and Yena's fingers are interlocked, yet her face softens once she sees the tears drying into Minju's skin. "What's... going on?"</p><p>Yena only sighs, letting Minju's hand go and standing up. "Think about it," she advises. "Even though I think you already know the answer. Tell Yuri what happened, ok?" Minju nods as Yena walks over to the doorway, placing a kiss to Yuri's lips before heading out onto the kitchen.</p><p>Yuri sits down on the same armchair where Yena was, and Minju tells her everything.</p><p>Her tea goes cold.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju sits on the edge of her windowsill at sundown, legs dangling in midair as the day loses hope and the sun gives into the night as it slips behind the horizon. The view from her window isn't nearly as breathtaking as the view from the room of Chaewon's dorm, but Minju is really trying her best not to think about it. A light breeze tousles her hair and nips delicately at her arms, unnaturally a little chilly for early summer.</p><p>In the distance, there's a faint blue line that cuts through the sky, hidden by a shroud of cloud, yet still giving off an impression that's there's a rip in the sky. While looking at it used to give Minju fond memories, now there's nothing but a sour taste in the back of her mouth. Because the night she'd spotted that crane arm was the first time Chaewon had opened up to her about her difficulties. It was the first time that Minju got confirmation that perhaps this attraction was mutual.</p><p>It was a stupid metaphor, really. The rips in the sky make us think there's something beyond what we know, whereas in reality, they're just mirages. So in simple words, fools' gold. And that's exactly what Minju feels like right now: a fucking fool.</p><p>She's burning everything she'd written about Chaewon.</p><p>She's got her dad's old lighter in one hand and the third poem she'd ever written about Chaewon in the other. This one was about the small butterfly tattoo at the back of Chaewon's neck, how it symbolised how terror could be masked by elegance, or something like that.</p><p>Pretty things are just nightmares that put up a real good show of pretending they're otherwise. It's all the same fucking thing. Chaewon loved it, and it keeps Minju up at night.</p><p>Yet there's a jabbing in her stomach that just doesn't feel right. When Minju left ballet, it had liberated her. It had been like she'd finally been set free from shackles that had been digging into the skin of her wrists for too long. Not having to constantly worry about whether or not her back was straight, her head was high, her toes were pointed, her legs were elongated, her neck was stretched, her hips were even, her arms were held. She no longer felt this constant, excruciating pain that constantly seemed to be pumping through her system, taking over her mind and warping her thoughts. Now, she was able to do as she wished, all because she'd gotten rid of that beautiful monstrosity.</p><p>Yet now, Minju's done it again. She's forced herself away from what's beautiful, so why... why does it hurt? It's illogical, it doesn't make sense; when she danced, she felt bad. When she stopped dancing, she felt good. Minju's always compared Chaewon to dance, so therefore, the same reason should apply. But it doesn't.</p><p>In fact, it's the complete opposite.</p><p><em>Chaewon always called me pretty. </em>She thinks to herself, watching as the flame slowly licks up the thin piece of paper, hot ash falling to her lap. <em>Maybe I'm the monstrosity instead of her. That's why she found delight in me.</em></p><p>That would make more sense.</p><p>The poem finally completely disintegrates, smoke wafting into the air and the smell of burning harsh in Minju's nostrils. She blows out the flame lazily, before placing her palms either side of her on the windowsill to support herself. She kicks her legs childishly as the sun sets completely, the rip in the sky becoming more prominent as the sky gradually becomes darker. But it's... grey.</p><p>That's not right. The lights are blue.</p><p>Looking down at her hands, Minju sees them void of colour. The sky, the trees, the strands of her own hair are just blurs of different tones of grey. She picks up the lighter and flicks on the flame, and watches as it carries the same colour as the smoke in the air.</p><p>Squeezing her eyes shut, Minju feels hot, silent tears fight against her eyelashes to race down her cheeks. The covers her face with her palms, trying to get ahold of herself as nothing but black spots dance around inside her head.</p><p>A veil falls over Minju's eyes, and all she can see is grey.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Kim Minju! Why does it smell like burning in here?"</p><p>Minju vaguely registers a voice calling out to her, but promptly dismisses it. There's no one in the house other than herself.</p><p>"Hey, I know you can hear me. You have to get up for school anyways,"</p><p>Groaning, Minju rolls over onto her side so that she's facing away from the voice calling out to her, reaching out blindly for her pillow and shoving it over her head to block out the sounds that her own head is definitely just making up.</p><p>"Don't be so childish. You're acting like a ten year old, pretending not to hear me. C'mon, you're leaving for school soon,"</p><p>The duvet is torn off of Minju's legs, causing her to groan loudly again and tuck her knees into her chest. She curses herself and whatever god is listening because <em>fuck </em>her brain isn't just making up the voice. At least she's not going insane?</p><p>Slowly, Minju takes the pillow away from her head, turning around onto her front and looking towards the front and-</p><p>
  <em>Oh my god.</em>
</p><p>"Mom?"</p><p>Minju's eyes widen dramatically inside her sockets, sitting up straight and quickly brushing her hair away from her eyes. Her mother is stood in the doorway, arms crossed and eyebrows arched disapprovingly. There's bags underneath her eyes that are much to deep, sucking the life out of her youthful looking face.</p><p>"Why are you back so early?"</p><p>Her mother purses her lips. "I had to come back to face a very ill tempered principle and try and convince him to not expel you, never mind suspend you," she sighs, rubbing at her face.</p><p>"Oh..." Minju shrinks back into her form, hugging her pillow to her chest. "Are you... angry?"</p><p>Her mother pauses for a moment before speaking up, looking like she's thinking. "You called your teacher a brainless old hag that dresses like it's the forties, right?"</p><p>Minju nods.</p><p>"Is she like, the really old one? The one that wore those awful looking dresses they wore during the world war with Russian dolls printed all over them?"</p><p>Minju is unable to stop herself from snorting out of laughter, able to picture that exact dress inside her head. "That's the one,"</p><p>"Then good riddance," her mother nods with finality. "Had the nerve to say I don't know how to raise my own daughter when all she said was the truth!" She sighs, her eyes then looking at Minju with a sense of sorrow. "I tried my best to convince them otherwise, Min, and you're lucky they're not going to expel you. That teacher of yours was almost certain that you deserved it for such behaviour,"</p><p>Minju breathes out a sigh of relief, a smile spreading across her face. It's like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, the only positive note she's had since everything that happened yesterday. "Really? So I'm in the clear?"</p><p>Her mother makes a face. "Not quite. They've decided to suspend you. For two weeks starting next Monday,"</p><p>Minju's face falls, letting her shoulders droop. "Well, I suppose it could be worse. Thank you, for trying to convince them,"</p><p>Minju's mother scoffs. "Thank me later. I'm not letting up until you answer my question; you still haven't explained why this place smells like you toasted the same piece of bread ten times. Have you been smoking?"</p><p>"What?" Minju splutters. "No, I haven't, I was just..." she wracks her brain, trying to come up with an excuse that doesn't sound as dumb as <em>well this girl I like told me she doesn't love me and I'd written all this poetry about her so I tried to burn it to help me erase my feelings for her. </em>"I was just at a party last night, people must've just been smoking there,"</p><p>"You went to a party. On a Wednesday,"</p><p>"It was just a birthday party one of Yuri's friends was holding. I'm not hungover, see? It was fine,"</p><p>Although her mother doesn't seem too pleased, she lets up, uncrossing her arms. "If you say so. I'm serious though, you need to meet Yuri at the station soon, and showing up late today is probably the last thing you wanna do,"</p><p>Minju nods, rubbing tiredly at her eyes and swinging her legs over the side of her bed. "Ok. Thank you, again, for coming back and convincing them,"</p><p>Her mother brushes her off. "It's fine, Europe was boring anyway. It was less seeing the sights and more dealing with greasy old men that just couldn't quite comprehend that the shape of my eyes was different to theirs," she rolls her eyes. "Where's your father, by the way? He hasn't left for work already has he?"</p><p>
  <em>Oops.</em>
</p><p>"Yeah, here's the thing. He, uh, went on a trip too?"</p><p>Minju's mother's eyes widen. "What? And why didn't I know?"</p><p>Minju grimaces, leafing around her wardrobe and taking out her school uniform. "Did he not tell you? The day I came home, the day you both left, there were notes from both of you that you were gone on unexpected trips," she sits down on the edge of her bed again, putting on her socks and pulling them up to her knees. "If I'd known you were in the dark about it I would've let you know," the lie easily slips from her tongue<em>.</em></p><p>Her mother slaps her forehead with her palm. "And you know what? He probably thought that I was at home minding you. Were you ok? You took care of yourself didn't you? You ate healthy and got the groceries?"</p><p>"Yeah yeah, I was fine, don't worry," Minju waves her off. "Like you said, I need to get ready,"</p><p>"Ok, I'm going, I'm going. But I'm sorry about that again, Min. I know it's hard on you sometimes,"</p><p>Minju waves her off. "Whatever. C'mon, I gotta get ready,"</p><p>Her mother smiles to herself, opening the door and taking a step out, just before she leans back in and smiles at her. "I love you, ok?"</p><p>Minju's face softens, and she feels a grin of her own smearing on her cheeks. "I love you too,"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I literally cannot believe this. You're practically the least troublesome person ever, and now all of a sudden you're suspended? How do you expect me to survive in that building without you?" Yuri exclaims, exasperated, voice slightly shaken by the trundling of the busy tram. Her, Minju and Yena are squashed together from where they stand as more and more people board the rush hour trains. Yena's joined them this morning because she has to head into town to meet up with a friend for a project she's working on, which made Minju's task of breaking the news of her suspension to Yuri a lot easier.</p><p>"Relax," Yena throws an arm around Yuri's shoulders. "It'll get Minju a bit of street cred,"</p><p>Yuri scoffs, crossing her arms, yet lets Yena support some of her weight anyways. "It's not her I'm worried about, it's me! I'll have no one to sit next to in biology now!"</p><p>Yena giggles to herself, nuzzling her nose into Yuri's shoulder. "Stop giving out, it's kinda cute,"</p><p>"I'm cute all the time, thanks,"</p><p>"A statement I'm not going to argue with,"</p><p>Minju groans to herself, being forced to press even closer into Yuri's side as more people board the tram. "Can you two spare me of your disgustingly endearing couple-y stuff even just for a day?"</p><p>Yena sighs, and seems like she's about to comply before she narrows her eyes in the direction of someone standing behind Minju. Her face hardens. "Sorry, is there an issue?"</p><p>Minju frowns at Yena's brash tone, turning her head to see a man in his late fifties staring at both Yuri and Yena. His thin lips are pursed in a displeased manner, eyes flickering from where Yuri and Yena's hands are clasped, to where Yena's chin rests on Yuri's shoulder, to where Yena's arm has fallen to hold Yuri's waist. "You girls shouldn't be acting that way in public,"</p><p>Yena glares at the man, turning Yuri away from him and cradling her close to her chest. "Excuse me?"</p><p>"Keep that shit indoors. No one else needs to see it," the man rasps, and Minju can see Yena becoming absolutely livid.</p><p>"Sorry, I didn't realise we were still living in the 1960s,"</p><p>"See? You fags have no fucking respect for your elders," the man takes a step towards them, lips drawn together like he's drawing saliva onto his tongue to spit at them, though not before a man in his mid twenties puts his hand out to stop him.</p><p>The young man arches a brow. "You're not seriously going to harm these young girls, are you?" He asks, voice laced with mirth and his eyes blazing. "Have some fucking class, man, if you're gonna lash out at someone at least don't do it to some school girls that can't even defend themselves,"</p><p>At this stage, they've begun to gather some attention from other passengers on board the tram, whispers darting around the place and not so subtle glances being thrown their way.</p><p>The old man seems like he wants to retaliate, but the younger man is much taller than him, and seems to realise that this isn't a fight he wants to pick. So he backs off, mumbling incoherently under his breath as he melts into the crowd of people.</p><p>Yuri breaks away from Yena slightly once he's gone, but still ensuring that the older girl's grip is still tight on her. Her gaze is a little unfocused, and Minju notices that her fingertips are quivering slightly. Yena, on the other hand, has her eyes darting all over Yuri in search of any signs of distress, making sure that she's ok.</p><p>"Hey," the three girls look up to see the young man smiling gently, and a little sheepishly at them. "Are you guys ok?"</p><p>"Yeah," Yena nods, giving Yuri's hand a squeeze. "Thank you for helping us,"</p><p>The man scratches the back of his neck. "It's fine. I've got a little brother a little younger than you that gets shit all the time for being gay, so I guess I was just reminded of him a little. It's... it's shit that you guys have to go through that kinda stuff,"</p><p>"Yeah, well," Yena gives Yuri a sad smile. "It's not the first time it's happened,"</p><p>The man's face goes sour. "And it won't be the last. Just- don't let their words get to you, ok? Love whoever the fuck your want,"</p><p>"Yeah," Yena nods, still not taking her eyes off of Yuri. "Thank you, again,"</p><p>Minju stares at them, wondering how they can go through all that emotional hardship, how they can be called names and be jeered at constantly, yet Yena still looks at Yuri like there's nothing more important in the entire fucking world.</p><p>The last time she'd witnessed something like that, it had been the night her and Chaewon had eaten Sooyoung's cinnamon rolls on the river bank. That situation had been a <em>lot </em>different than this one, yet they'd still ended up the same.</p><p>Because when they were running, the smell of smoke and sugar wafting through the air, carried by the sound of Chaewon's ringing laughter, Minju hadn't been able to take her eyes off of her.</p><p>Somehow, that makes her miss Chaewon even more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju stares at the blank wall in front of her, unfinished homework lain uselessly on her lap as she fiddles her pen in between her fingertips.</p><p>Nothing seems to be going right for her recently.</p><p>The world is still grey, she's being forced away from Yuri for two weeks, and Chaewon still doesn't love her. Probably hates her, in fact.</p><p>Fuck, what Minju wouldn't give to turn back time and just erase everything she'd ever said. She'd never have brought her notebook to school that day, never have opened her mouth when her teacher scolded her, and everything would've been fine. Fuck, she'd probably be at Chaewon's dorm right now, sitting on the rooftop and listening to her play the guitar.</p><p>She wants to hear Chaewon sing again.</p><p>Giving up on her literature homework, Minju shuts the textbook closed and drops it into her schoolbag. It's not quite night time yet, just around dusk, the sky a soft shade of violet. From out of her window, Minju can see the arm of the crane jutting out from beyond the tops of buildings, ugly and bare in the light. Maybe if there really were rips in the sky, tears in the fabric of the universe that led to parallel realities, in another world, Chaewon would love her.</p><p>It's a strange thought, but a comforting one. That in some timeline, in some alternate universe where everything goes right, Chaewon loves her.</p><p>Minju's phone begins to blare her ringtone noisily, interrupting her thoughts, and she almost doesn't have any will left to answer it. It's probably Yuri asking for advice on that history essay that Minju herself hasn't even done, because why would she? The essay isn't due until Monday, when Minju isn't even going to be in school.</p><p>But her brain urges her to pick up, so Minju manages to haul herself away from her desk and towards her bed. She plops herself down into her bed and picks up her phone that she'd precariously thrown to her pillow earlier in hopes of actually focusing on her homework.</p><p>Minju looks at the screen, and her heart stops. Because there, bright and bold on her lock screen, is Chaewon's name.</p><p>Chaewon is calling her.</p><p>Minju feels herself panic, her fingers beginning to quiver. Her heart is throbbing so hard inside her chest that it physically hurts, her head spinning and beginning to break a sweat. She doesn't want to answer out of fear of what Chaewon might say, but at the same time, she just wants to hear her voice <em>so fucking bad.</em></p><p>So, going with her gut, Minju gingerly answers the call. "He-"</p><p>"Minju!"</p><p>Minju blinks at the volume in her voice, only feeling her nerves grow. "Is everything o-"</p><p>"<em>Fuck </em>Minju oh my <em>god, please </em>you have to-"</p><p>"Whoa whoa," Minju cuts her off as she shakes her head, Chaewon's rambling causing her more distress. Minju had never heard her sound so terrified before, her tone begging Minju for something Minju doesn't even know of. "Slow down, tell me what's wrong,"</p><p>"He wuh-was kissing me, and all I could think ab-about was you, <em>fuck, </em>Minju all I could see was you so I- I called out your name when he was touching me and I- and oh my <em>god, Minju, </em>he <em>heard," </em>even through the speaker, Minju can hear the terror in the way she speaks, can hear the way her sobs cause her to stutter and stumble over her words.</p><p>"I... what?"</p><p>"So he took pictures of me!" Chaewon wails. "He took pictures of me when I was wuh-wearing fuck all and- he said he was gonna fucking <em>sell</em> them, Minju, said he was gonna sell <em>me</em>. Said he wuh-was gonna make so much fuckin' money off of me,"</p><p>"He's- Chaewon, what?"</p><p>"He's selling me to the brothel in Japan, Minju!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> "I never liked calling you flower, you know,"</p><p>Minju looks up at Chaewon from where she's sat at the end of the older girl's bed. Chaewon is cross legged at the opposite end on top of her pillows, her guitar in her hands as a way to stop them from shaking, plucking out mindless chords. Her eyes are red and glazed over, her flushed cheeks hot and sticky with tears. The afternoon sunlight filters through the window tiredly, almost like it's given up. Yet, it still paints the room soft tones of bronze, and Chaewon still looks beautiful in the way that it blurs her outlines and douses her in rich beams of yellow. An empty packet of cigarettes is tossed precariously by her feet, it's warning labels fitting for their current situation.</p><p>Minju knits her eyebrows together. "What do you mean?"</p><p>Chaewon doesn't take her eyes away from the guitar, staring at it like it's her last hope. "I called you it to objectify you," her voice is hoarse, scratchy. Like she'd been screaming.</p><p>Minju feels her mouth run dry. "Why would you...?"</p><p>"Because I didn't want to become close to- close to <em>you,</em>" Chaewon explains. "If I could somehow... make it seem as though I was taking to <em>flower...</em>" she makes quotations with her fingers, holding tight to the neck of the guitar with her other hand. "Instead of Minju, me getting attached to you wouldn't be an issue. Does that make sense? I thought of it as like- like a barrier, between us, that stopped me from liking you for who you really are," she takes in a rattled breath. "And for that, I apologise,"</p><p>Minju feels her skin crawl. She'd <em>loved </em>that nickname, had expressed to Chaewon how much she liked to hear her say it, all for it just to be some- some sick, lame attempt at putting distance between them. "You did it so that it wouldn't disrupt things with Songmin, didn't you?"</p><p>"I knew the moment he figured out I had a connection with someone else, he'd kick me to the dirt," she remarks dryly. "I called you Minju sometimes, though,"</p><p>Minju arches a brow. "Why?"</p><p>Chaewon shrugs. "Sometimes I just forgot. Sometimes I wanted to feel how it sounded to have your name on my tongue,"</p><p>Minju grips hard at the sheets clinging to the mattress, her nails digging into her palms through the thin material. "Well... just, don't call me flower ever again,"</p><p>Chaewon finally looks up at her, remorse swimming around in her irises. "I'm really sorry. You liked it, didn't you?"</p><p>"Yeah," Minju replies curtly. "Not anymore,"</p><p>And that's the end of that.</p><p>Minju's frustrated because she doesn't know how to act. She wants to sympathise with Chaewon, wants to comfort her because <em>fuck, </em>she's been threatened to be <em>sold, </em>and Minju knows that despite everything, she won't be able to handle herself if she has the knowledge that Chaewon is working unwillingly in that brothel. But Chaewon is acting like the tears in her eyes aren't there, like nothing with Songmin had ever happened. Minju supposes that she's probably trying to pretend that nothing <em>did </em>happen, even just for a little while.</p><p>Like she hadn't called out Minju's name while his hands were on her skin.</p><p>From the top of the bed, Chaewon sighs, at last putting down her guitar. Her hands aren't shaking as much now, but there's still a noticeable quiver to her fingers. "We should probably talk, about... everything. From the beginning,"</p><p>"That's why I'm here," Minju responds, a little short, and if Chaewon notices she does a good job at hiding it.</p><p>Chaewon takes in a slow breath. "So... the fight, yeah?" She says it like it leaves a foul taste in her mouth, and Minju nods at her to keep going. "To start off, I shouldn't have read your notebook. That was dumb and you trusted me and it was totally out of line. I'm- I'm really sorry for that,"</p><p>Minju nods slowly. "I probably shouldn't have reacted the way I did, but at the same time... like, that notebook, or really what was written in it, was really important to me. So I hope you can see why it affected me so much, but again, that doesn't excuse me for lashing out at you. So <em>I'm </em>sorry,"</p><p>Chaewon presses her lips into a tight line. "For what it's worth, and from little I saw, you- they're really beautiful, Minju,"</p><p>Minju shrugs, only realising now that, yeah, having Chaewon say her actual name is a little strange. "Yeah, well, they're gone now,"</p><p>Chaewon looks a little disappointed. "You got rid of them?"</p><p>"Burned them,"</p><p>Chaewon swallows thickly, yet judging by the hard line of her lips she seems to take understanding in Minju's brash actions. "I see,"</p><p>"I shouldn't have called you a whore," Minju blurts, speaking all too quickly that she's not even sure Chaewon understood her. But what Minju did has been weighing on her shoulders for what feels like eons, and she just needs nothing more than to get rid of it. To rid herself of that aching pain that courses through her shoulders and down her spine caused by the guilt she's harbouring.</p><p>Chaewon blinks up at her in surprise, looking taken aback by Minju's sudden apology. "I- what?"</p><p> Minju sighs, running her hands through her hair in distress. "<em>Fuck, </em>it was so stupid of me. It was the first thing that came into my mind that I knew would have an effect on you and before I could even think I- like, I'd already said it," she rubs at her face. "I'd never even thought about you in that way before, I promise you that. You've no idea how <em>bad</em> I felt afterwards, because you were just curious and I lashed out at you in a way that you didn't deserve!" Minju exclaims, feeling her emotions slowly but surely catching up to her.</p><p>Yet Chaewon just smiles at her softly. "It hurt. A lot, I'll say. But it was the heat of the moment and I think we both said things we didn't mean," she pauses before continuing, letting her words hang in the air for just a moment. "For example, me saying that I don't love you,"</p><p>Minju's heart sinks in tandem with her eyebrows and the corners of her lips. "Chaewon, don't do this to me," she murmurs. "Don't mess with me like this, please,"</p><p>"I'm not, I promise you," Chaewon's hand crawls along the sheets, slowly in the direction of Minju's with the intention of lacing their fingers together, before she retracts it. "Who was I talking to when I said it?"</p><p>It takes Minju a moment to understand what she's trying to say, before she eventually grasps it. "You... you called me flower," Minju only remembers because in that moment, she'd hated it so much. But now...</p><p>"Yeah," Chaewon breathes. "When I said it... in my eyes, I wasn't talking to you,"</p><p>"Then why say it at all?"</p><p>"Because- because in the moment, I wanted to hurt you. Just like how you hurt me,"</p><p>Minju closes her eyes, trying to gain back her bearings and make sure that she's making sense of what Chaewon's trying to tell her. "So what you're telling me is-"</p><p>"I love you, Minju,"</p><p>Chaewon looks her in the eye when she says it, the words hanging thick and heavy and obvious and <em>painful </em>between them. And Minju leaves them there, staring down at her own hands laced together in her lap because she doesn't quite believe it. She doesn't really know what to say, so she tries to dodge the conversation. "There are really more important things that we should be focusing-"</p><p>"I know you think there are," Chaewon quickly reaches out again, this time succeeding in taking Minju's hand into her own. She shuffles forward on the bed so that they're a little bit closer. "But- but it took me so fucking long to say those words, and honestly they scare me out of my mind. So," she swallows, bottom lip trembling. "So please don't say they're not important," she speaks quietly, almost <em>shyly, </em>and shit, Minju's always been right whenever she ever said that she'll never be able to deny this girl anything.</p><p>"You love me,"</p><p>"So much,"</p><p>"Then prove it to me,"</p><p>Silence. And then-</p><p>"I'm sorry?"</p><p>Minju arches a brow. "You told me yesterday that you don't love me, and now you're telling me you do. You can't blame me for wanting evidence,"</p><p>"No, I mean," Chaewon sits up a little straighter. "You're actually giving me a chance to prove myself?"</p><p>Minju smiles at her sadly, taking Chaewon's other hand into her hold. "Chaewon, all it was was just an argument," she speaks regretfully. "You say I'm giving you a chance like I hate you or something. You have my word; I didn't back out of this on the balcony that first night, and I'm sure as fuck not backing out now,"</p><p>Chaewon grins at her then, a bright, beaming grin that lights up her entire face. The last pearly teardrops are squeezed from her ducts and glimmer dazzlingly on her lashes from where her eyes are squeezed shut with how much she's smiling. Her cheeks look fit to burst, looking less flushed from her sadness and seeming to glow with a healthy blush. Minju hasn't seen her smile like that in a long time.</p><p>"Can I ask you something?"</p><p>Minju doesn't even need to hear the question to know that the answer will comply with what Chaewon wants. "Whatever you want,"</p><p>Chaewon takes her bottom lip between her teeth, a shy attempt at suppressing her grin that really shouldn't be as cute as it is. She leans in a little closer. "Can I kiss you?"</p><p>Minju feels her breath stop, and it's like her heart races from steady pulsation to a pace faster than the beating of a hummingbird's wings. Even though she hasn't replied, it's like Chaewon can already sense her answer. She comes that little bit closer so that their knees brush, holding onto her ankles as she leans in. If Minju wanted she could count the sparse. minuscule freckles that are splashed across Chaewon's nose, could analyse the flecks of gold that dance in her pupils. She can hear her breath, slow and a little shaky, and Minju realised that this time both of them are a little nervous.</p><p>Because it's out in the open now.</p><p>Minju loves Chaewon.</p><p>And-</p><p>"Oh my god,"</p><p>Chaewon draws her lips together cutely into a concerned expression. "What is it?"</p><p>"You love me,"</p><p>Chaewon giggles endearingly, and Minju's heart is fit to implode. "I haven't even gotten a chance to prove that to you yet,"</p><p>"Then hurry up,"</p><p>Chaewon laughs again, a high, melodic sound that Minju really does love to hear, but the idea of Chaewon's soft pink lips on hers are really just too tempting right now. So as Chaewon leans in, Minju decides that she's taking way too much time, so she hooks her fingers beneath Chaewon's collar and tugs until their lips collide.</p><p>It's something similar to the first time they kissed, although maybe not as shy or blind. Minju knows to rest her hands on Chaewon's waist, knows to be pliant when Chaewon wraps her arms around her neck so that she can draw her closer. Chaewon's lips are just as delectable as they look, tasting like salted caramel and smoke due to a mixture of her tears and cigarettes and her naturally sweet undertones. Maybe Minju isn't as tentative anymore because the constant nagging is no longer in the back of her head, the fact that Chaewon is kissing her because she genuinely likes her enough to send her head spinning.</p><p>She pulls back just a fraction, just to let her mind catch up with the situation, and Chaewon honest to god smirks at her, her fingers tangling in the hair growing at the base of Minju's scalp and scratching lightly. "Shit," the low tone of her voice causes a stir in Minju's stomach.</p><p> </p><p>   Leaning back in, Chaewon gives Minju's lower lip a playful nip before letting her back fall against the mattress, tugging Minju along with her. Their legs tangle together and their bodies press close, making it difficult to decipher where one begins and the other ends. Chaewon's lips stay persistent against Minju's, the pace fast and quite literally breath taking, and all Minju can focus on is how Chaewon keeps tugging her closer. How even when Minju's sure that not even air can travel between them, Chaewon's arms are winding that bit tighter than before. It dawns on Minju that there's no feeling quite like being held impossibly tight by the one you love. By the one that you know loves you too.</p><p> </p><p>   "Shit, Minju," Chaewon breathes once they break apart, just barely enough space between both of their lips to intake the oxygen they need. "Minju,"</p><p> </p><p>Minju runs her hand down Chaewon's side, the girl sensitive to her touch yet not recoiling away from it. Minju ducks her head and presses a kiss to Chaewon's jaw. "Say it again," she whispers, travelling further down as she leaves sweet, butterfly kisses to Chaewon's neck. "Say my name again,"</p><p>"Minju," Chaewon gasps, her fingers gripping onto Minju's hair even tighter.</p><p>"You love me, yeah? You're talking to me?"</p><p>"Just you," Chaewon breathes. "Always you. Always loved you," she pulls Minju back up to kiss her again, claiming her lips like she's been starved, and Minju responds with just as much enthusiasm because <em>shit.</em></p><p>This is love.</p><p>But there's still something irking her, something they still haven't touched that's driving Minju crazy. She places a hand on Chaewon's chest, and Chaewon takes the hint, leaning away from her just a small bit. Minju finds it cute the way she looks so concerned, her voice wavering with insecurities as she asks "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing," Minju sighs. "Not to be a mood killer, but... Songmin, Chaewon,"</p><p>So Chaewon exhales slowly, sitting up (which just so happens to be on Minju's thighs, but Minju's trying her very best not to think about that right now) and taking Minju's hands again. "There's no way out," she shrugs, almost casually. "If I try and run, I'll have the same fate as Hitomi. If I try to rebel, they'll just drug me up and sell me off anyway. Songmin's friends are human traffickers, do you really expect him to be the only clean one? There's only two outcomes; I'm either dead, or back in Tokyo,"</p><p>Minju looks at her carefully. "You want to go back to Tokyo though, don't you? You always speak about it like you miss it,"</p><p>Chaewon looks up at the ceiling, like she's trying to draw all of her thoughts together. "I suppose I do. But, I think the only reason that I do is because I've convinced myself that if I go, I'll be able to see <em>her</em>. Which is- is dumb, but I'd be driven crazy being in the same place where we shared memories but not having her there with me," she swallows. "And that brothel... shit, Min, I could never go there. I'll kill myself on the way there if I have to. I'd rather be dead than living through that torture every day,"</p><p>Minju shakes her head. "Stop saying shit like that as if it's set in stone that you're you're going,"</p><p>"It kinda is,"</p><p>"Not if I can help it,"</p><p>"Minju, really you're a sweetheart, but what could you do?"</p><p>"I think that I've got an idea,"</p><p>Chaewon quirks an eyebrow at her. "Which is?"</p><p>Minju doesn't reply immediately, allowing herself some time to think before speaking up again. "Gimme a look at the nicest dresses you own,"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju sips slowly at her drink from where she's perched at the bar, eyes darting around the lowly lit room over the rim of her glass. Neon, strobed lighting electrifies the place and gives it life, the bright colours painting people's skin saturated tones of green and pink and blue and every colour in between. The club is tightly packed, smelling like sweat and smoke and an array of perfumes and colognes. Minju's not too sure what she's consuming to be honest, she'd asked for something light with whiskey and she supposes that's what the bartender gave her.</p><p>She's wearing one of Chaewon's dresses; something she'd ensured that Chaewon had bought herself and hadn't worn out. It was nice enough to catch second glances, but still understated so that it wouldn't appear as though she was well off. Given, Minju might look a little out of place; she's never gone clubbing on her own before. But it's not like that'll be an issue for much longer.</p><p>She remembers what Chaewon had told her just before she'd left, key ways to communicate what you wanted. "Keep your chin raised," Chaewon had murmured, placing her finger on the underside of Minju's jaw and tilting it upwards slightly. "It asserts dominance, and men like Songmin can't stand it when he's not the most powerful man in a room,"</p><p>So Minju sits up tall and tilts her chin up slightly, looking down at everyone on the dance floor from the raised stool. She's trying her best at putting up a good show of looking like she's here just for the pleasure of it, hiding the nerves that fidget restlessly beneath her skin. "Just pretend you're me," Chaewon had joked, but honestly, that's exactly what Minju's doing. Chaewon always seems to carry around with her that unwavering air of confidence, always knows when to twist her lips into those sultry, seductive smiles that make Minju lose her mind. So Minju crosses her legs at the thighs and tells herself to ignore the way the fabric of the dress rides up her skin, even if it's just a centimetre or two. She ignores the itch to tug it back down, knowing that if it were Chaewon she simply wouldn't care.</p><p>Chaewon likes attention, Chaewon likes looking pretty, and Chaewon really fucking loves money. So right now, Minju needs to too.</p><p>It's not long before Minju sees him; he stands out like a sore thumb amongst the young crowd of people in their twenties, slick smirk on his greased lips as he analyses the area with squinted eyes as if he just bought the damn place. Minju tries her best to keep her heart rate steady as his gaze falls to the bar, thick fingers rubbing at his prickled nose before deciding to make his way over.</p><p>Minju feigns indifference, acting as if she never saw him as she takes another sip of her drink. The liquid inside contains small ripples caused by the heavy pumping of an EDM song from the early two thousands that Minju can't quite put her finger on. At least, she tells herself that that's what's causing the water to tremble and not the quivering of her hand.</p><p>Songmin sits on a stool one away from Minju's, ordering shots of vodka before acquiring a position similar to her's. The only different between them is that while Minju's got her legs crossed, Songmin's are spread wide to take up as much space as possible - Minju's guessing it's another silent declaration of authority. He faces away from the bartender and towards the dance floor, slowly licking his lips as he props his elbows up on the bar behind him. He's got an appearance that Minju can't find any word for other than greasy, hair slicked back with oil and still wearing the same rings he wore the last time Minju saw him. They clutch so tightly to his digits that Minju would bet they're only still there because he can't physically take them off.</p><p>So Minju starts up a challenge. She sits a little taller than him, looks down on people a little more, and lets playfulness tug at the corners of her lips. She can feel his shameless, invasive gaze on her, and maybe she's starting to get why Chaewon is kinda addicted to this. It's power play, the fact that this man, with all his money, crisp shirt and heavy Rolex weighing down his wrist, looses everything at the sight of a young girl in a pretty dress.</p><p>"You're looking like you're in a pretty good mood," Songmin speaks first, and Minju takes that as a point for herself. "What's got someone like you looking so smug?"</p><p>Minju finally spares him a glance, and becomes a little more disgusted by the way he's still eyeing her up as if she was less of a person and more of a prize to be won. "What, is a girl not allowed to look happy?" Minju croons, brushing her hair back from her eyes. "Can't say the same for you though, you're looking a little washed up mister,"</p><p>Songmin's eyes narrow at her, reminding Minju of a pig. "I'd watch your mouth if I were you, kit," he warns, though Minju rejoices internally once the pet name falls from Songmin's lips.</p><p>Minju keeps her head held, taking a sip of her drink before speaking around the rim of the glass. "Make me," she challenges, thinking that it would be something Chaewon would say.</p><p>Songmin merely arches a brow, and <em>now </em>Minju's got his attention. "And how would you suppose I do that?"</p><p>Minju hums, looking up at the ceiling, pretending to think. She swirls her drink around, just because it's a casual action that she knows will make her come across as more relaxed than she actually is. "Well, mister, call me wrong, but to me it's lookin' like you're filthy fucking rich,"</p><p>Songmin barks out a laugh. "Straight to the point, I see,"</p><p>Minju shakes her hair out of her eyes. "I'm not gonna hide what I want,"</p><p>Songmin's eyes slowly scan her body, up and down, as if she were an item for sale on a store shelf. "How old are you?" He asks slowly, and Minju recalls how Chaewon once said that it's more appealing to be younger rather than older.</p><p>So she presses her lips together like she's trying to suppress a smile, leaning in a little closer to him. "You wouldn't rat me out if I told you the truth, would you?" She whispers, and even to her it sounds voluptuous.</p><p>Yet Songmin's eyes grow a little darker. "I'd never dream of it, kit,"</p><p>Minju bites on her lower lip. "I'm sixteen," she says it like it's something she has to admit to. "My parents think I'm at study group right now," it's not entirely a lie, her mother thinks she's spending the night at Yuri's.</p><p>"So you're one of those bad types then?"</p><p>"I'll be whatever you want me to be," Minju purrs, chalking down another tally onto her mental chalkboard when Songmin not-so-smoothly slides into the barstool next to hers.</p><p>"And what would you say," Songmin leans in so close that Minju can smell his breath, which honestly isn't the best experience. "If I asked you if you were for sale?"</p><p>The way he phrases it makes Minju shudder. <em>For sale, </em>as if she's just an item up for grabs on the sales rack, like she's nothing more than an object made for his enjoyment and pleasure. But she still manages to keep her sultry smile on her lips without wavering, humming in thought. "Well, I dunno mister, I'm pretty expensive," she draws things out, like Chaewon had recommended her to. Keep him talking, and most definitely keep him drinking.</p><p>A low sound alarmingly close to a growl surges from the base of Songmin's throat. "That's real cute, kit," he remarks dryly. "There's no price that I can't pay,"</p><p>"Well what money are we talking here?"</p><p>Songmin's eyes gleam. "So much money you won't even know what to do with yourself,"</p><p>And, for a moment, Minju's mind freezes. She's seen all the shit that Chaewon's been able to afford, and for a sickening moment, Minju thinks to herself that she wouldn't mind being able to have that kinda money all to herself. No one would have to know, if Chaewon had been able to keep it a secret for so long then so could she.</p><p>Then she snaps out of it, mentally recoiling at herself in her own skin because <em>shit </em>that felt fucking <em>disgusting. </em>She prays Songmin didn't notice any shifts in her facial expression, and tries to maintain a cool, collected exterior. "That's a bit vague, don't you think, mister? You're moving awfully fast for a girl you just met," she brings a hand up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, but Songmin catches it a grips her wrist before she can.</p><p>"Sir," he breathes lowly, tone going from something flirtatious to something demanding - something that sends a slow tremor of terror through Minju. "You're going to call me sir from now on, kit,"</p><p>Minju feels her eyes widen, and whatever upper hand she had, whatever sort of dominance she was asserting, is gone. Vanished. Disappeared into thin air. She doesn't know what to say, so she just nods dumbly.</p><p>Songmin's eyes grow even darker. "I'm not hearing you, kit,"</p><p>Minju swallows. "Yes sir,"</p><p>Songmin closes his eyes, wallowing in the words Minju had spoken, almost as if he's savouring the moment as he bites down on his thin bottom lip. Minju resists the strong urge to gag, feeling like there's centipedes crawling beneath her skin with just how disgusting she feels.</p><p>Songmin opens his eyes again, snaking an arm around to rest his hand on her lower back. Minju recoils at the touch by arching her back, but thankfully, to Songmin it probably just looks like she's trying to press herself closer to him. "Here's the deal, kit," he rumbles. "I'm going to take you back to my place, and I'm gonna treat you real good, hm?" He proposes with a tilt of his head, but he says the words as if it's more of a demand than a question.</p><p>So Minju merely nods again. "Yes sir,"</p><p>Songmin raises his eyebrow. "And if I like how you take it, then you've got yourself a deal,"</p><p>Minju gulps, hoping that Songmin wasn't able to hear it, feeling sick to the stomach as he presses the pads of his fingers harder into the skin of her back. "Yes sir,"</p><p>"Don't think I haven't dealt with girls like you before," he whispers in her ear, dry, cracked lips brushing against her lobe. "Don't try anything funny, kit. I'm the one in charge here,"</p><p>"Yes sir,"</p><p>Minju allows Songmin to lead her out of the club, and no matter how revolting she feels, the knowledge that Chaewon's freedom is that bit closer tastes too sweet to give up now.<br/><br/></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Songmin pulls back from Minju, staring at her breathlessly as Minju tries her best to mirror his expression. While Chaewon had been correct in saying that his stamina is fucking shit, she'd failed to mention the part where he kisses like a fucking animal. <em>Fuck, </em>Minju can feel the way her lips are bruised with how hard they'd been forced onto Songmin's, spit slicked and swollen, no doubt berry red in colour. Her hair sticks to her forehead with the heat of the room, and Songmin hasn't even tried anything yet.</p><p>So far, Minju hasn't been successful in getting what she wants. She knows that the time will eventually come but, time is something she's currently running low on.</p><p>Songmin begins to duck his head, gaze locked onto Minju's collarbones, and Minju braces herself just as a loud <em>ping </em>resounds through the room. Songmin's phone.</p><p>The man sighs to himself, sitting up on the bed and letting Minju's head fall back against the pillows. He hasn't undressed her - thank god - but his bare stomach overflows from the tightness of his jeans in an unflattering manner that makes Minju want to snicker and vomit simultaneously.</p><p>Songmin opens up his phone, reading whatever message came up on the screen before grumbling to himself and placing it face down on his bedside locker. "Gi's a minute tuh-to freshen up, yeah kit?" Songmin slurs, his speech heavily burdened by the alcohol he'd consumed earlier finally taking its toll. He stands up without waiting for a reply, despite the fact that Minju had a <em>"Yes sir," </em>waiting obediently on the tip of her tongue. Shit, she's had to say that so many times tonight that it's driving her mad.</p><p>Songmin gives her a stern look as his hand comes to rest on the doorknob of what Minju assumes is the bathroom. "Arms above your head. Hold onto the headboard," he commands, and Minju doesn't hesitate to do just that. "If I see your that hands have moved from there, then there'll be punishments," Minju's stomach churns at the sickening delight in his eyes. "Be a good girl and don't touch,"</p><p>"Yes sir," Minju replies, trying to keep the fear out of her voice because all of a sudden this feels <em>very fucking real. </em>Songmin closes the door shut behind him, and Minju snaps out of it once she hears the sound of running water. Her eyes dart to his phone next to his wallet and keys on the bedside table, and for a fraction of a second, she hesitates. Because Songmin told her not to move her hands, and she'll be punished if she does.</p><p>But it doesn't take her long to snap out of it, shaking her head and at the same time <em>terrified </em>by how much he'd managed to persuade her in such a short time. How easy it was for him to get inside her head. Slowly sitting up to avoid making any noise, Minju reaches out and closes her fingers around his phone and keys, then impulsively taking his wallet for good measure. Delicately, she swings her legs around the side of the bed and places her feet to the floor to stand. She walks on her toes to stay silent as she slips out the door, closing it behind her and exhaling shakily.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>This is fucking insane.</p><p>Tip toeing down the stairs, Minju can't help but stare at Songmin's phone in her hold. Shit, <em>everything </em>is probably on that thing, not only all the pictures of Chaewon her taken, but all of his business contacts, people who'll be important for him to build good relationships with. Relationships that could be ruined with a single text message.</p><p>To her relief, Songmin had never even locked his phone in his drunken haze, meaning all Minju had to do was make sure it didn't switch off automatically by tapping the screen intermittently. She finally makes her way through the hallway, inserting the keys into the front door and twisting to open it up. Minju's thankful that he's so drowned in his own riches that everything in the goddamn house is squeak-free, the door opening silently and Minju slipping through it with no issue.</p><p>Not bothering to close it behind her, Minju breaks our into a run, not caring if she makes noise anymore because it's unlikely that Songmin will hear her at this stage. Taking out her own phone out of her pocket, Minju switches it on and calls the most recent number that rang her, only needing to wait a couple moments before the line is picked up.</p><p>"Are you ok?" Chaewon asks hurriedly, concern evident as day in her tone.</p><p>"Yeah," Minju replies, a little breathless. She wants nothing more than to get rid of the feeling of Songmin's hands on her skin, of his lips on her neck. "Fuck, Chae, are you here?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah I'm just coming up now. Get in as quick as you can, ok?" They'd previously agreed that Chaewon would loiter in an area nearby the house until Minjy needed to get away, and, well, that time is now.</p><p>When Minju finally sits down in Chaewon's car, and when she hands the other girl Songmin's phone, she's not surprised when she bursts into tears of relief. Because now, the power is in their hands; no more photos, no more business connections, no more flights to Japan.</p><p>Minju doesn't stop herself from crying either. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>One Year Later. </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minju reaches out, pressing the buzzer next to the door outside the building. It's chilly outside, November's harsh embrace no match for the woollen scarf wrapped defiantly around the first half of her face. There's static audible from the small speaker on the device, before a clear voice comes through. "Hello?"</p><p>"Chaewon? It's me,"</p><p>There's silence from the speaker for a moment, before Chaewon speaks up again. "And who might this <em>me </em>be?" She sounds like she's trying her best not to laugh.</p><p>So Minju plays along with whatever game she's trying to play, just because Chaewon enjoys it. "The love of your life? You may have heard of me before,"</p><p>"Hmm, can't say I have," Chaewon deadpans. "I think you might have to come up here and explain more,"</p><p>"Sounds good," Minju replies, just before a loud beeping noise is emitted from the buzzer, signalling that the door to the building had been opened.</p><p>Minju knows her way about the place like clockwork at this stage. It's nothing crazy, an affordable place that Chaewon's able to rent out with whatever money she's got left since ending things with Songmin. Minju makes her way up through the building by taking the elevator, hiking her bag up higher on her shoulder as she jitters with excitement.</p><p>Upon reaching the fifth floor, the elevator doors open, leading out into a long corridor. Minju walks along it a bit too quickly to be considered natural, but she's just so giddy that she can't help herself. She stops outside room 10, knocking thrice on the plain wooden door before hearing footsteps approach.</p><p>Chaewon opens the door of her small recording studio, a wide grin on her face once she sees Minju standing at the doorstep. "Why hello there," she giggles with a tilt of her head. "Might this be the love of my life?"</p><p>"I'm hoping so," Minju replies, smiling fondly as Chaewon takes her hand and drags her inside. The studio is small, understated, and while those words are still things Chaewon is getting used to, Minju's proud of her for coming this far without having to be so dependent on someone else. "How's everything coming along?"</p><p>Chaewon nibbles on her lower lip, trying to prevent a grin, before blurting all at once: "I think it's finished,"</p><p>Minju's eyes go wide inside her head. "It's finished?" She echoes, feeling her heart swell when Chaewon nods endearingly. "The entire album? Completely done?"</p><p>"Uh huh," Shit, Chaewon is so fucking gorgeous when she smiles with her eyes that Minju feels a little feint. "Do you... wanna listen?"</p><p>"Do I wanna listen," Minju scoffs, rolling her eyes. "I've been waiting <em>months </em>for even just a strum of a guitar,"</p><p>"I wanted everything to be perfect, ok?" Chaewon protests, guiding Minju over to what she claims is her "thinking chair" and sitting her down. There's a pair of large, heavy looking headphones connected to Chaewon's laptop, and before Minju puts them on, she lets her fingers brush against Chaewon's arm.</p><p>"Hey..."</p><p>Chaewon nods at her to continue.</p><p>"So, this may be a bit of a coincidence, but the first hundred copies were printed yesterday. And the publishing house sent me one,"</p><p>Minju feels Chaewon freeze, before their eyes find each other's. They always do. "You're kidding me,"</p><p>"Nope,"</p><p>"Have you got it with you?"</p><p>"Why else do you think I came here?"</p><p>"Oh my god you really are the love of my life," Minju snorts at her while Chaewon sits down on a chair next to her, staring at Minju a bit in awe. "Can I- I mean, can I see? You know I've been dying to read it,"</p><p>"Well..." Minju trails off, thinking. "How about you read while I listen?"</p><p>Chaewon seems content with that, nodding her head vigorously and bouncing up and down in her seat like a child. "C'mon, let me <em>see," </em>she whines, reaching out and tugging insistently at Minju's arm.</p><p>"Ok, ok!" Minju laughs, bringing her bag onto her lap and undoing the zip. She sees the way Chaewon's eyes light up as she dips her hand inside and taking out the book.</p><p>It's a decent length, Minju thinks, not too long and not too short, but a pleasurable reading length. She hands it over to Chaewon, and watches as the older girl stares at it, her pretty lips parted in awe. The cover is a deep navy blue, dotted with stars, the image of a crane lighting up the centre. "<em>There's a Rip in the Sky</em>," Chaewon reads aloud, smoothing her hand over the letters. "<em>Poetry Written About Falling in Love. </em>Shit, Min, it's <em>beautiful,"</em></p><p>Minju reaches out towards the headphones, fitting them snug over her ears. "You ready?" She asks, voice sounding slightly muffled.</p><p>Chaewon nods, as if in a daze, slowly opening up the first page, touching the paper like it's about to set alight at any moment. Minju watches for her reaction as her eyes scan over the first page, the one that she knows is the dedications. The page on which Minju had dedicated the entirety of her first book of poetry to Chaewon. She watches as her eyes sparkle threateningly as she presses play on the first song of Chaewon's album, watches as Chaewon covers her mouth with her palm. Even though she's covering her face, Minju can see that she's smiling. So, so wide.</p><p>The first chord rings in Minju's ears, and as Chaewon sings the first couple lyrics, all Minju can see is colour.</p><p>The veil has finally been casted aside, and it isn't showing any signs of returning any time soon.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>that was just one big gay mess wow. love how i can't write anything other than an open ending :))<br/>thank you so so much for reading! if you enjoyed, kudos and comments would be greatly appreciated uwu. see you soon!</p><p> <a href="https://mobile.twitter.com/glitzyena">twitter</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.me/glitzyena">curious cat</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bonus: There's a First Time for Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chaewon wants Minju to take her out on a date. Like an actual, proper date.</p><p>Minju sort of panics.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i wrote this extra little chapter as a bonus not too long ago to celebrate this story's one year anniversary! it's literally nothing but like 4k of tooth rotting fluff, because i love 2kim and i couldn't resist :')</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You should like... take me out on a date,"</p><p>Minju looks up at Chaewon in surprise. They're on the subway home, the rickety tram jostling them about and causing Chaewon's words to shudder as they fall from her lips. There's hardly anyone else there apart from them, just a small group of teenagers huddled into one of the booths and an old woman reading across from them. It's dark, which is a given, only faint streaks of amber streaming through the dust coated window panes at intermittent intervals bringing any sort of light onto the scene. From where Minju's head is resting on Chaewon's shoulder, she's been watching for the past while as the tangerine hues sharpen the older girl's usually soft looking features, before the tram is plunged into darkness again, the process repeating itself over and over hypnotically and Chaewon looking beautiful all the while.</p><p>They've been quiet for the majority of their journey, which is why Chaewon's sudden announcement takes Minju by surprise. Chaewon murmurs the words, probably because of the late hour that they're travelling at, and Minju's sure she's just as exhausted as she herself is. However, there's also a hidden shyness to her tone despite her seemingly brash words, a lack of confidence that Minju's familiarised herself with over time.</p><p>But like always, Chaewon plays it off like it's nothing, keeping her gaze straight on.</p><p>Unable to stop herself, Minju's face breaks out into a smile, shifting in her seat to press herself closer to Chaewon. "What?" her own words are thick with drowsiness, she realises, and curses herself, Chaewon, and the late night coffee shop near campus that they always seem to gravitate towards when they both procrastinate that bit too much. Shit, they both might love their majors, but workloads are tough.</p><p>Chaewon shifts so that she's looking down at her, their faces so close that Minju can feel her breath warming her face. Chaewon blinks at her, looking as though she's trying to focus, and simply repeats her sentence as if Minju hadn't heard her. "I said, you should take me out on a date," she doesn't quite manage to hold Minju's gaze as she speaks.</p><p>Minju presses her lips together to try and force down her smile. She takes her head off of Chaewon's shoulder in favour of perching her chin on it instead, their noses brushing. "But we go out together all the time," she murmurs, taking one of Chaewon's hands in both of her own.</p><p>Chaewon's brows furrow cutely, lips drawing together. "Yeah but-" she cuts herself off, letting out a huff as Minju moves so close that their lips barely graze each other's, the sensation almost ticklish. She gives Minju a gentle shove on the shoulder, making Minju laugh. "Oh my god, stop. I'm trying to have a conversation with you here,"</p><p>Minju bites back her smile again, resting her head back on Chaewon's shoulder. "Sorry, go on. I'm listening," she says, not sounding the least bit sorry.</p><p>"We've gone out before, but we've never like... <em>gone out </em>before, you know?"</p><p>Minju sort of gets the gist of her words, but, she's feeling a little mean. Plus, Chaewon is fun to tease, sue her. "No, I don't know,"</p><p>Chaewon lets out a sigh of exasperation. "Yes you do," she insists, sitting up straighter and jostling Minju as she does so. "We go out together all the time, but we've not once called them actual, proper dates. And I'll be damned if by the age of twenty I've not had one, single sincere date that doesn't involve money of some sort," she rants, not entirely serious, yet there's an undeniable truth in what she's saying. Her words garner a slightly appalled look from the woman sitting opposite them, but Chaewon pays her no mind.</p><p>And, Minju kind of gets it. Chaewon never really got the chance at the whole 'high school sweethearts' thing, never really got the chance to have an awkward first date or ask someone out without all the theatrics that their confessions held.</p><p>"Sure," Minju replies with a casual shrug, appearing nonchalant, but really she's hopelessly endeared. "I'll take you out on a date,"</p><p>However, Chaewon is persistent. "Nuh-uh," she takes a hold of Minju's arm with her free hand, giving it a gentle shake so that Minju takes her head off of her shoulder. "That's not how it works. You can't just <em>tell </em>me that you're taking me on a date, you have to ask me,"</p><p>"But you're the one who-"</p><p>Chaewon cuts her off by shushing her, placing her pointer finger over Minju's lips and leaning in close again. She gives Minju a smile, overly sweet. "Just do it, Min,"</p><p>So, Minju gives in with a long exhale, leaning back into the stiff seat. "Kim Chaewon,"</p><p>Chaewon's grin is so, so wide, and Minju wonders how someone couldn't be in love with her. "Mmhmm,"</p><p>"Love of my life," Minju drawls on, purposefully cheesy, just because she knows Chaewon secretly loves it. And, true to her word, Chaewon squirms delightedly before humming again in response. "The sun to my moon, my angel, my... fucking, I don't know. My light? That's all I've got, sorry," Minju briefly thinks that if Yena were here right now, she'd be making gagging noises behind them.</p><p>Chaewon rolls her eyes, but she's still grinning. "Oh, I'm so romanced," sarcasm practically drips from her words.</p><p>"Et cetera, et cetera," Minju continues on as if she hadn't heard her, and takes a hold of her other hand, turning to face her head on. "Will you go on a date with me?"</p><p>Chaewon gives her a musing look, for a few moments, pretending to think. Then, after a while, she replies with a simper. "I'll think about it,"</p><p>Minju gapes. "You fucking-"</p><p>"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Chaewon rushes to excuse herself, letting out a lighthearted laugh as she takes her turn to rest her head on Minju's shoulder, her laughter muffled on Minju's neck. "Of course I'll go on a date with you,"</p><p>Minju tuts, but runs her thumbs over Chaewon's knuckles regardless. "Happy now?"</p><p>"Very," Chaewon huddles closer to her, looking up at Minju and taking her hand out of her hold to cup Minju's jaw. She gently turns Minju's head so that their gazes are locked, and presses a feather light kiss to her lips. Minju smiles despite herself, and she's pretty sure she hears the old woman bustling away whilst muttering under her breath. Neither of them pay her any mind as they slowly break apart, Chaewon gently bumping their noses together before resting her head on Minju's shoulder again.</p><p>Minju smiles down at her, unable to stop herself, even after all this time unable to believe that this girl is hers. She kisses the top of Chaewon's head, smiling into her hair, just able to catch the murmur of "Fucking sap," that Chaewon utters mirthlessly.</p><p><em>A date</em>, Minju muses.<em> I'll figure out a place to take her. </em><br/>
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</p><p>"And I cannot for the life of me figure out where to take her!" Minju whines down the phone, flopped upside down on the bed in her dorm room, Yuri being the recipient of her distress.</p><p>"Just... I don't know, get her McDonald's or something," Yuri's voice crackles down the receiver, and Minju really can't tell if she's joking or not.</p><p>"You're fucking hopeless,"</p><p>"And right now, so are you,"</p><p>Minju kicks her legs out as a little mini-tantrum, because it's not like anyone's around to judge her. "It's like everything I come up with just isn't good enough. And anything that <em>is</em> good enough is way out of my price range," Minju groans. "Why do I have to be so broke, Yuri?"</p><p>Yuri only ignores her petulant whining, which is probably for the best. "She wants the classic experience, right? Then why not go the classic route and take her out for dinner, wine and dine her. It's literally faultless, like no date of mine has ever said no to food,"</p><p>"That's because your girlfriend is Yena," Minju points out, to which Yuri chuckles in agreement. "And besides, a typical dinner date is too bland for someone like Chaewon, she deserves something special,"</p><p>"Then take her skydiving. Or, no, hear me out, <em>paragliding</em>,"</p><p>"<em>Yuri</em>,"</p><p>Yuri laughs down the receiver. "Why are you so hellbent on this whole date thing anyways? You've been together for what, just under a year?"</p><p>Minju scrunches up her nose. "We've gone out before, but we've never like... <em>gone out </em>before, you know?"</p><p>There's silence on the other end of the line, for a moment, before Yuri responds. "No, I don't know,"</p><p>Minju makes a face. "Chaewon and I never really did the whole dating thing, like <em>I'll take you out to see if I like you</em>, it just never happened with us,"</p><p>"Because you were a massive <em>nerd</em> and had to go and write an entire fucking <em>book</em> about her, you know, as you do,"</p><p>Minju calms herself with the thought that if Yuri were here right now, she'd land a perfectly good punch square in the middle of her face. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that and carry on with this conversation,"</p><p>"Listen, Min, you and I both know Chaewon likes her fair share of glamour," Yuri starts up again, tone a little more serious this time. "But she knows that that's not you. She won't be expecting something big and grand from someone like you,"</p><p>"Um... thanks?"</p><p>"Oh, c'mon," there's a smile to Yuri's words. "You know I didn't mean it like that. Basically what I'm saying is, maybe it's best if you keep things simple. Do something that means something to the both of you,"</p><p>Minju blinks up at the ceiling, ruffling her hair with her spare hand. "That was deep, shit,"</p><p>Yuri barks out a laugh, and Minju unknowingly smiles to herself. "Did it at least work?"</p><p>Minju thinks to herself for a few moments, frowning at the plaster peeling on her ceiling as if it'll give her some ideas. And, all of a sudden, a sliver of a thought slips its way into her mind, growing and developing within seconds, and after almost no time at all-</p><p>"Oh my god, I've got it,"</p><p>"Got what?"</p><p>"I know where I'm gonna take her," Minju tumbles off the bed to stumble to her feet, glancing at the clock on the wall. Ok, half four. She's got time. Totally. Then, she catches a look at her reflection in her mirror, face falling. "Oh my god I look awful,"</p><p>"That isn't physically possible but go off,"</p><p>"Listen, I've gotta get ready," Minju rambles, holding her phone in between her cheek and her shoulder as she reaches for her hairbrush. "Thank you so much for helping me out, you're a lifesaver,"</p><p>"Wait, you're not actually buying her McDonald's, are you?"</p><p>After bursting into laughter again and assuring Yuri that she isn't going to buy Chaewon McDonald's as their first "official" date, Minju ends the call, dragging her brush through her hair to try and untangle the mess that sits atop her head. <br/>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><b>Me:</b><br/>
are you free this evening?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>chaewon &lt;3:</strong>
</p><p>yeah, why?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Me:</b>
</p><p>cool</p><p>
  <b>Me: </b>
</p><p>im picking you up at 8</p><p>
  <b>Me:</b>
</p><p>wear smth nice</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>chaewon &lt;3:</strong>
</p><p>im always dressed nice thx</p><p>
  <strong>chaewon &lt;3:</strong>
</p><p>wait</p><p>
  <strong>chaewon &lt;3:</strong>
</p><p>is this about our date???</p><p> </p><p><b>Me: </b><br/>
i couldnt possibly say</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>chaewon &lt;3:</strong>
</p><p>oh my god i am so ridiculously in love with you</p><p><br/>
<strong>chaewon &lt;3:</strong>
</p><p>i'll be waiting</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Holy shit,"</p><p>It's all Minju can say once Chaewon opens the door to her dorm. She stands there like a fool for what must be minutes on end, mouth unknowingly hanging open as she stares.</p><p>Chaewon takes the adjective <em>nice</em> to a whole new level.</p><p>She's wearing a dress that Minju's never seen on her before (then again, she does have a ridiculously large array of them, one of the perks of getting paid to go on dates with people for four years), one that's tugged to halfway down her thighs, shimmering a pink satin and leaving her shoulders bare. She's practically swimming in her favourite white bomber jacket, the one with sleeves that spill past her fingertips and contrasts with the tightness of her dress. Her peachy coloured locks were in a half-up style, the strands that weren't clipped neatly to the back of her head cascading down her shoulders. Dark shades of brown had been smudged delicately around her eyes, giving her an even more sultry appearance than usual, and it's that and the thick coating of gloss that clings to her lips that sort of make Minju want to faint then and there. Yuki is bundled in Chaewon's arms, now more of a cat than a kitten, Chaewon's skin drowning in her pristine, white fur.</p><p>Chaewon closes her eyes for a moment, breathing out a soft curse. "You just called me ugly in about sixty-seven different languages,"</p><p>Minju resists the urge to snort. She'd totally rushed getting ready, throwing on the little black dress Yuri had gotten her for her nineteenth and literally slapping on her makeup before rushing out the door. "You're kidding me, right?"</p><p>Chaewon throws her an incredulous look over her shoulder after she lets Minju inside, ruffling at her hair. "Excuse me for having working eyes," she sets Yuki down on her bed, the cat curling in on itself comfortably on the duvet. "To be honest, I was worried that I wasn't dressed right, so I'm relieved now that-" she cuts herself off when she looks back at Minju again, and her expression completely changes. "Oh my God, Minju,"</p><p>Minju blinks at her. "What?"</p><p>Chaewon gives her an adoring smile, coming back over to her and cupping Minju's cheeks. She tilts her head, beam so wide that it makes her eyes glimmer. "Don't tell me you're nervous,"</p><p>Minju splutters, feigning otherwise to what Chaewon had suggested, and the girl only raises a brow at her. Sensing that she's not really fooling anyone (not even herself), Minju allows her shoulders to droop, and speaking in a very small voice, she says "Maybe a little,"</p><p>Chaewon coos, and Minju definitely doesn't bask in the attention, at all. Chaewon wraps her arms around her neck, tugging her close enough to feel the warmth from her skin, standing on her toes to match Minju's high-heeled height. "You wanna know something?" her voice is so gentle, and the familiarity of it washes over Minju like a wave. "I don't really care what you've got planned. As long as I'm spending time with you, I don't care," she curls her fingers through the hair at the base of Minju's scalp, not allowing her to look anywhere except directly at her. "Okay?"</p><p>Minju nods. "Yeah. Yeah, okay,"</p><p>Chaewon's smile turns playful, briefly kissing Minju sweetly before pulling back, walking towards the door and placing her hand on the handle. "And usually, this is the part where you tell me where we're going," she tilts her head. "Unless, of course, you're <em>still</em> insisting on keeping it a secret,"</p><p>Minju takes in a deep breath and tries her best not to choke on it. Suddenly her idea could not seem any more stupid, but it's not like she can go back now. "Well, actually..." she trails off, reaching out and taking Chaewon's hand, causing the other girl to frown. Minju lets her words speak for herself as she guides Chaewon away from the door, slowly walking across the room, neither of them breaking their gaze, and Minju feels her heart involuntarily begin to thrum inside her chest. It's only when they reach the other side of the room that Chaewon seems to cop what's going on.</p><p>"Holy shit, <em>Minju</em>," she vainly bites at her lower lip to contain her smile. "We haven't-"</p><p>"Since I was in high school, I know, I know," Minju looks away from her, not able to handle the intensity that comes with Chaewon's gaze any longer. She pushes down the door handle in front of her, the cold night air immediately swooping in to lick at her cheeks. "But I couldn't think of anywhere else to bring you that was... I don't know, I wanted to make it special. I wanted it to be something that you deserve, and... this was the closest thing, I guess," she pauses. "Plus, I have something for you. Something small, like really small, it's literally nothing," she adds once Chaewon's face blanches, reassuring her that it's nothing she needs anything in return for.</p><p>They climb the stairs onto the roof, wind whispering in their ears and their footsteps clanging dully against the cool metal, Minju not once letting go of Chaewon's hand.</p><p>Once they reach the top, they perch themselves on the edge of the building, feet dangling off the edge and the neon urban planes stretching out beneath them in a haze pinks and blues. They're pressed close together, and Minju's happy that at this stage she doesn't need to excuse herself saying that it's for warmth. Wordlessly, she reaches into the handbag she'd brought with her, (the large one Chaewon had bought for her birthday. Minju remembers nearly fainting at the sight of it) and almost immediately Chaewon seems to perk up, sniffing the air like something had caught her attention. Her eyes go wide once Minju produces two brown paper bags, splotched with damp, sheer patches. A sweet scent permeates the air, vanilla and cinnamon, and Minju watches as Chaewon covers her mouth with a hand. "Kim Minju, you did not,"</p><p>"They're probably not as hot as what you're used to, but this plan was kind of impromptu, so," Minju trails off awkwardly as Chaewon takes one of Sooyoung's cinnamon rolls from her, taking it out of the bag and admiring it for a moment.</p><p>"I haven't had one of these in so long," Chaewon sighs wistfully, running her finger along the large pastry's edge to collect the sticky white glaze that's threatening to drip off the edge, before popping the finger into her mouth, and Minju's eyes most certainly do <em>not</em> intently follow the movement. Chaewon catches Minju staring, and takes her finger out of her mouth with a gentle <em>pop</em>. She wiggles her eyebrows then, overly suggestive, causing them both to burst into laughter.</p><p>"You're insatiable, oh my god," Minju complains, covering her mouth with one hand and giving Chaewon a gentle push with the other.</p><p>"It's one of my best attributes," Chaewon replies with faux seriousness, biting into the cinnamon roll and letting out a groan, which only causes Minju to hit her gently again. "And you," she continues on with a mouthful of food, pointing a finger at Minju. "Love me for it,"</p><p>Minju takes a bite of her own roll, leaning back on her free palm and gently swaying her legs. "I really hate it when you're right,"</p><p>She really doesn't.</p><p>"You know, now that I think about it," Chaewon pauses to swallow, only to take another bite again. "If we were never going to go out, and it was always going to be just the two of us, why tell me to get dressed up?"</p><p>Minju looks at her like she's mad. "And pass up a chance to see you dressed like this again? Me?" She lets out a low whistle. "Not a fucking chance,"</p><p>Chaewon sits bolt upright. "I spent thirty fucking minutes on these eyes!" She exclaims, though her tone gives away that she's not really serious. "Half of a fucking hour!"</p><p>"And you look stunning," Minju offers, which does seem to quell Chaewon's whining.</p><p>Chaewon shakes out her shoulders like a parrot proudly ruffling their feathers. "Damn right I do,"</p><p>"No, seriously," Minju straightens her face so that Chaewon knows she's being sincere. "You look... like there just aren't words to describe how stunning you are,"</p><p>Chaewon doesn't meet her eyes in favour of looking down at her own lap, though Minju can tell by the way her cheeks are filled out that she's grinning to herself. She thinks she hears a mumbled "Thank you,", but it's so quiet that she barely catches it.</p><p>Eventually, Chaewon looks up at her again, shaking her hair out of her eyes and resting her chin on her fist, drawing her knees into her chest. The city paints her skin so nice, almost making her glow the different cool shades of blue, entwining themselves into her hair and spattering on her lips. "Did you buy these because of why I think you did?" She asks, tilting her head in the direction of her half-eaten deep fried pastry.</p><p>Minju purses her lips. "Depends," she says, instinctively leaning in a little closer when Chaewon does the same. "Why do you think I did?"</p><p>Chaewon shrugs. "Well I could say, but I might be wrong," she quirks a brow. "Does it perhaps have something to do with what happened on the day we first had them?"</p><p>Minju tilts her head. She really can't stop smiling, shit, her cheeks are beginning to ache. "Maybe," she says, drawing out the word.</p><p>Chaewon looks triumphant, smug grin on her face. "So there's a chance that it's because we ate these the day we had our first kiss?"</p><p>Minju looks up at the sky in hopes that if Chaewon can't see her face, she won't be able to read her. "I mean, it could have been a contributing factor,"</p><p>"You're so cute," Chaewon croons, throwing her arms around her and hugging her so that their cheeks squish together, Minju complaining all the while even though her heart is soaring. "How thoughtful,"</p><p>And even though Minju will whine and complain, she really loves this. She loves how her and Chaewon slip into conversation so easily, she loves how she doesn't have to hide or act or put on a facade. She loves all the colours that Chaewon makes her see.</p><p>They stay out there for god only knows how long, just talking about anything and everything under the sun, until their eyelids grow heavy and their words become slurred. Minju doesn't really enjoy being sleepy around Chaewon, because her brain-to-mouth filter just becomes non-existent, but Chaewon seems to enjoy it very much.</p><p>They're sat with Chaewon's head on Minju's shoulder, and Minju's head atop hers. Neither one of them has said anything for a short while, but it's not awkward. There's comfort in the silence, and Minju could not be any more in love.</p><p>"Minju,"</p><p>God, Minju doesn't think she'll ever get used to the wondrous sensation that rushes through her each time she hears Chaewon say her name.</p><p>"Mmh,"</p><p>"You haven't stated the obvious yet,"</p><p>When Minju makes a questioning noise, Chaewon points out to the dark skyline, where a thin strip of blue cuts through the inky blackness.</p><p>"Ah," Minju smiles weakly. "There's a rip in the sky," she pauses, drinking in the sight, and in the night it really does seem as though the fabric of the universe had torn to reveal shimmering wonders beneath the surface. "You know, before all this, I used to find comfort in the thought of it,"</p><p>"That there's a rip in the sky?" Chaewon questions, sounding puzzled.</p><p>"At the thought of an alternate reality," she says. "I used to think that, if I couldn't have you, at least in another world, or another timeline, a different version of me would be yours," she nods to herself, recalling the memory with a mixture of fondness and sorry. "And I was living in that reality all along,"</p><p>Chaewon shifts beneath her, tilting her head up so that they're looking at one another. They do just that for a few moments - just look at each other. Again, it isn't tense or awkward, everything comes so naturally that it's like a sixth sense. Eventually, Chaewon's fingertips brush against the line of Minju's jaw.</p><p>"You know I really love you, don't you? So much," she whispers quietly, even though it's only the two of them there. Like the words are too delicate to be spoken loudly, and that they'll shatter otherwise.</p><p>Minju nods, curling her fingers around Chaewon's wrist, a silent message for her to keep it there. "Me too," she responds. "I love you too,"</p><p>Before Minju can even comprehend what's happening, Chaewon's lips are on hers. Her lips are soft, although they always are, slightly sticky with gloss with an artificially sweet taste. Minju can taste the saccharine flavours of the cinnamon roll as well, warm and welcoming like everything about her, and like icing being poured on hot pastry, Minju practically melts at her touch.</p><p>She draws Chaewon so close that she doubts even air could pass between them, arms wound around her waist as Chaewon languidly raises her other arm to rest it on Minju's shoulder. There's no rush to their movements, everything is slow and controlled, because now they've really got all the time in the world.</p><p>When Minju tugs playfully at Chaewon's lower lip with her tenth, the older does that thing that drives Minju a little crazy. The thing where she lets out one of those short, breathy laughs, the ones that tug at the corner of her lips for barely a moment before she's diving back in again for more, and the sound of it alone is enough to make flames lick at Minju's insides.</p><p>Eventually they do pull apart, more so because of the inconvenience that is the need to breathe than anything else, breathing softly into each other's parted lips with closed eyes and their foreheads pressed together.</p><p>And still and again, Minju finds herself smiling. It's something that seems to be happening quite a lot these days. <br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you guys so so so much for reading!! if you enjoyed, a kudos/comment would really be appreciated uwu. until next time!</p><p>
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